Hilja

>After joking about it with your American friends you have moved to USA & have your Green card. You have triple-checked the laws to make sure there are no obstacles preventing you from owning firearms & you decide to get your first gun. You go to a pawn shop/gun store near your place to see what they have, there are few 91/30s, couple ARs, couple AKs, that kind of selection.
>As you think about what you want someone brings in an M39, you get a bit closer to hear the exchange between the owner and an employee. The owner has hit some rough times & has decided to sell one of his three M39s to pay some overdue bills. What the employee is offering him isn't what he expected, what he needs.
#"Excuse me, can I take a look?" you ask as you approach, the owner looks you over with suspicion, but hands the rifle over. You ask the owner & the employee if it's OK to check the bolt and the trigger, and since the store is otherwise empty they give a go ahead as long as you remember muzzle- and trigger discipline.
>The bolt slides smoothly, and just as you are about to test the trigger out of nowhere someone appears right next to you, it's a young-ish woman wearing the summer uniform M36 of the Finnish Army.
¤"Tauno!" she exclaims, but upon seeing your face she gets confused, then suspicious.
>You are stunned, not by the fact that a waffengeist appeared, you have heard of them before, nor the fact that this one is wearing a WWII -era uniform, that's to be expected. It's the name she exclaimed that caught your attention.
#"I take it you speak Finnish?" you ask, trying your best to mimick your grandparents' Karelian accent.
¤"Well of course I do!" she replies with very obvious, very natural North-Karelian accent, she continues
¤"You are not Tauno"

#"No I'm not, but what's your name?" you ask, thinking "she can't be, the chances of that are astronomical."
¤"Hilja, that's what Tauno called me, why do you ask, who are you?" she asks, getting worked up.
>You say nothing, instead you glance at the stamps on the rifle, a VKT made in 1940. It fits perfectly.
#"I'm Anon, Tauno was my great-grandfather's name, Hilja was his wife" you reply.
¤"Your great-grand-" she starts repeating what you said before going silent as the reality hits.
¤"He's dead, isn't he?" she asks.
#"Sortavala, late August 1941, sound familiar?" you ask, feeling bad for what the effect of what you just said is going to be.
¤"...I was hoping that was just a dream" she finally mutters. Bingo, no doubt about it anymore.
#"Afraid not" you say sympathetically, even though it's challenging to imagine what she's going through, in all likelihood for her what happened was like yesterday while to you it was almost 50 years before you were even born.
¤"...Did he suffer?" she asks. That's right, from what you heard Tauno was being carried to dressing station, she wouldn't have been with him at the end. You try to decide whether or not to tell her the truth. In the end you decide you have to.
#"One bullet to the chest, tore his lungs, he died enroute to the dressing station, I hear he was conscious on the way there" you say.
¤"Are you my new owner?" She asks, you look at the owner.
#"How much?" you ask in English.
"$300" the owner says, more than he initially wanted from the pawn shop, but then again after that exchange it was obvious that as far as you are concerned the value went through the roof during your conversation with Hilja.
#"Deal" you say as you start digging for your wallet. The pawn shop employee isn't amused, but there's nothing he can do at this point, the sale is going to happen regardless of whether he throws you out or allows you to finish the transaction inside the store.
>You turn back to Hilja and say:
#"I am now."

>She looks at you with confusion and suspicion plastered all over her face, you realize you said that last thing in English, she's now looking around her, seeing English writing everywhere.
¤"...Where are we?" she asks.
#"America, I moved here recently" you explain as you finish the paperwork the owner insisted you fill and start walking out with Hilja, he was a bit suspicious about the fact that you are a Green-carder.
¤"...how did the war end?" she asks as you exit the store.
#"All went well for the rest of the year, Viipuri was quickly retaken & in the east Finnish Army advanced all the way to Karhumäki, Petroskoi and across Syväri, the lines remained stagnant until June 1944" you recount the major events. Hilja is amazed with the success, but it seems she notices the significance of the word "until."
#"After that it all went to Hell, Soviets launched a massive offensive at the Isthmus on June 10th and by 15th the fighting had reached the hastily manned & prepared Viipuri-Kuparsaari-Taipale -line, Viipuri was lost on 20th" you recount the events before continuing:
#"By 24th the morale was at all times low when code breakers intercepted what amounted to a Gift from Heaven; Soviet plans for a breakthrough with to-the-minute -timetable for the attack, the countermeasures were put together, artillery supplied with extra ammo & the airforce mobilized in full to bomb the enemy concentrations right before the attack started" you continue while Hilja looks at you with wide eyes.
#"The opening salvo of the Finnish artillery had over 250 guns and mortars pounding the living shit out of the Soviets, the battle raged from 25th until July 9th when it ended in a Finnish defensive victory. That was just the beginning of a long string of defensive victories during a retreat to the 1940 border, until September 4th at 07:00 the cease fire came to effect, the war ended officially in Paris in 1947, 1940 borders minus Petsamo, plus outrageous war reparations."

¤"...1940 borders you say?" she asks, you can guess what she's thinking.
#"Yes, Tauno's farm remained on the Finnish side of the border, it's still owned by the family" you say & Hilja lets out a sigh of relief.
#"Did you ever manifest yourself to Tauno?" you ask, curious about what kind of relationship they might have had.
¤"No, practically every "Pystykorva" had a waffengeist by the time the war started, but we had a silent agreement not to show ourselves, for the fear of how the Army would react."
#"Wait, you mean that *all* Finnish Mosin-Nagants have waffengeist?" you ask, astonished.
¤"Well maybe not literally every single one, but most, why?"
>yfw all those bubba'd Finn-Mosins have waffengeists
#"...I'll explain later, right now I need to sit down" you say as you try to collect yourself.

¤"Oot sie ihan kunnossa?" she asks as you light a cigarette.
#"Yes, I'm fine, it's just the mental image of an American buying an M28-30 or an M39 thinking it's just another $50 Mosin-Nagant among countless millions of standard war-time Soviet-made 91/30s that flood the market in USA & treating her as such, unaware of not only the fact that the rifle they bought is far from being your average 91/30, but also of the fact that said rifle contains a spirit that can feel everything you do to the rifle" you say as you smoke the cigarette.
¤"...oot sie ihan tosissas?" she asks
#"Of course I am serious, Finnish-made Mosin-Nagants are rare compared to the Soviet-made rifles, not to mention the difference in quality of the rifles each country produced, I always thought it was a crime to take an M27, M28 or M39 etc. and treat them like your average 91/30, sawing-off most of the stock and the barrel to make it a 'pistol', or doing some other stupid shit. Now that I know that most of the Finnish Mosin-Nagants have spirits I could decapitate each and every "bubba" who has done such things to Finnish-made Mosin-Nagants" you say as you finish smoking the cigarette and light another, you are so pissed that you simply can't calm down with just one cigarette, in fact you feel like even one pack might not be enough.
¤"...You certainly aren't Tauno, but at the same time I can see that you really are his descendant", Hilja says.
#"...Considering the third-hand stories my grandfather told me about Tauno I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended" you say as you observe her expression, is she making fun of you? You are half-Karelian yet you have trouble understanding the people who are supposed to be of your "tribe."
¤"What I'm getting at is that you aren't as rough around the edges, but at the same time, deep down you have the same instinct of talking with your fists with very little warning when someone crosses a line only you can see", she explains.

#"...Sounds familiar alright, never saw my old man nor grandfather being like that" you reply.
#"But enough of that, let's go home" you say as you stand up.
>You arrived on foot & didn't bring a rifle case with you, so you grab her rifle-form by the sling and hang her on your right shoulder.
>This is an open carry -state, but you are still nervous about OC'ing as you have read plenty of stories (many of them no doubt fake-) about people losing their shit over people OC'ing & things getting complicated, you consider asking Hilja to make her rifle-form disappear, but that idea becomes pointless as a patrol car passes you & pulls over ahead of you & two officers step out of the car.
"Good afternoon sir" says the senior of them, a corporal.
#"Good afternoon corporal" you decide to address him as a corporal rather than just "officer" because you already saw his chevrons.
"Do you mind showing your ID?" the corporal asks, these cops look chill you think as you reply:
#"Not at all, my ID is in my wallet, one second..."
>You show them your Green card, a bit nervous about how they are going to react.
"You aren't a citizen?" the corporal asks.
#"No, corporal, I'm not" you respond truthfully and as briefly as possible, like all those YouTube videos about how to deal with American cops told you to do to avoid trouble.
"Is there a reason you are carrying a rifle out in the open?" he asks as he checks you rom head to toes.
#"I bought this just minutes ago, I hadn't planned on buying rifle today so I didn't prepare a rifle case, and since I live nearby I came on foot, so after buying this I had no choice but to OC on my way home" you explain.
"You just bought it?" the corporal asks as he looks to the direction you came from & seeing the pawn shop.
#"I bought it from a customer at the pawn shop who tried to sell it at the store but couldn't agree on the price he was offered, I filled the paperwork though & have his contact information if you'd like to check" you explain the situation, hoping you didn't fuck up by volunteering information you didn't need to share.
"That's not necessary at this time, I'll just write down your name & the description of the rifle, is that a Mosin-Nagant?" he asks.

>Before you can reply, the corporal adds:
"I mean, a Finnish-made version, an M39 right?"
#"Yes" you reply, slightly surprised.
>The corporal writes down your name and the description before asking:
"Out of curiosity, how much did you pay for it?"
#"$300"
>"$300? The pawn shop wouldn't pay that for an M39? Did they think the waffengeist would cause trouble or something?" the corporal asks, astonished.
#"The pawn shop offered $150 when the owner wanted $200, when I asked to see the rifle the waffengeist appeared & the owner asked for $300" you say, deciding you are already in the clear & are just making small talk.
"He must have been desperate for the money, in any case you are free to go, have a nice day" the corporal says before returning to the patrol car with his partner and driving away.

>With the cops gone you start walking again, making small talk, until Hilja suddenly asks:
¤"So, what's with your accent?"
#"...my grandparents moved to the southern coast in early '60s, that's where my old man was born, he then moved to Tavastia where he met my mother, they got married and had two children, I'm the younger one" you explain.
¤"I see, no wonder you seem dour for a Karelian" Hilja replies with a smirk.
#"I certainly am far closer to a typical Tavastean than to a typical Karelian, someone once suggested I am Savonian" you reply.
¤"...How many pieces did the police find him in afterwards, or are they still looking for his remains?" she asks, seemingly worried. Savonians are the butt of all the other Finnish 'tribes' jokes, and for a good reason, but then again a mix between Tavastean and Karelian isn't much better considering how these two groups are stereotypically polar opposites you think.
¤"So, what is our relationship going to be like?" Hilja ask, this directness so typical of Karelians is going to take some time getting used to.
#"For the time being I think "flatmates" would be best" you say as you try to imitate her directness, failing miserably.
¤"You aren't going to ask your wife's opinion?" she asks, puzzled. That's right, in '30s Karelia a man in his 30s would be assumed to have married a long time ago & be busy supporting a wife and several children, and another thing that would be assumed would be that the mistress of the household rules the house with a figurative iron fist (or, if necessary, a very real cast-iron pan.)
#"...I'm still unmarried, and until now I have lived alone" you reply.
¤"Oh, I see", Hilja replies.
¤"In that case I'll be taking the role of the mistress of the household, just leave everything around the house to me & focus on making a living" she says as if your opinion doesn't matter, though with a Karelian woman who has made up her mind, a man's opinion hardly ever matters anyway...

>With Hilja's declaration your relationship is settled & your life together starts. The first few days go by in a flash as you get used to a strong-willed woman's presence in the house, she turns out to be a great cook, making the Karelian food she makes even better, though your American friends don't seem to understand the finer points of the simple foods with rich flavor that make up the traditional Finnish cuisine.
@"When you said your rifle's Karelian cooking is amazing I expected something more..." your friend says as he is digging in on his plate of Karelian stew.
#"...Russian, as in served with vodka?" you guess what he's getting at.
@"...well, yeah, especially considering it's *your* tastes we are talking about" he replies.
#"You'll have to remember, this house is now under new ruler, in an agrarian society like 1930s Karelia drinking in the middle of the day was socially unacceptable, at least on weekdays outside of events like Midsummer, Christmas and weddings" you explain.
@"So heavy drinking at weddings is also an established tradition in Finland?" he asks.
#"Very much so, and a traditional Karelian wedding tended to last for days, with separate receptions at bride's and groom's homes..." you reply, hand-picking details to make traditional Karelian weddings sound more hard-core than they tended to be.
@"Damn, now I want the two of you to marry so I can attend your traditional Karelian wedding!"
#"That might be difficult to arrange, because if I start doing something the traditional way I'm going all out, and doing that is impossible, too many key details would be missing."
¤"What are you two conspiring here, you had better not be planning on "going around the corner"", Hilja says as she comes out of the kitchen. "Going around the corner" is an euphemism for men sneaking off to have a drink out of sight in a situation where drinking isn't socially acceptable, she must have heard your friend mention vodka, you think.

#"Drinking in the middle of the day, on a weekday? Perish the thought!" you reply, Hilja doesn't seem to believe you.
@"Is it strange that even though I don't speak a word of Finnish, I can still tell the content of your conversation?" your friend interjects.
>After some back-and-forth you finish your meal, at which point your friend speaks up.
@"Anon, do you think you could take a look at one of my rifles?" he asks.
#"Sure, what's the issue?" you reply, wondering why he's asking you.
@"It's an SVT-38 with SA -markings, I'm experiencing constant malfunctions, apparently it has always been like that, no matter what the previous owners have done" he explains, just as you are about to respond he continues:
@"I have it in my truck, shall we take a look right now?"
#"Why not, let's go" you reply.
>You go outside to retrieve the rifle before going to your garage, Hilja is following you to make sure you aren't just making excuses to drink in secret. Is she supposed to be your wife, or your mother?
>As you take the rifle apart you notice some tooling marks on the gas system.
#"Where did these come from?" you ask, wondering if a previous owner has done something to the rifle.
@"As far as I know those have always been there" he replies.
#"I seriously doubt that, SVT-38s were carefully finished, by Soviet standards anyway, so these are of more recent vintage, I recall reading that FDF made changes to the gas system on the captured SVTs because they wouldn't work right with the Finnish ammo, the end result was that after that the modified rifles wouldn't work right with 54r", 54r being of course the original Russian cartridge from which the cartridge used by FDF, 53r, was developed from.
$"Finally someone who knows their stuff!" an unfamiliar female voice suddenly shouts. As all three of you turn towards the voice you find yourselves looking at another woman in M36 uniform.
§"Fuck, I didn't know my rifle had a geist!" your friend exclaims.

$"Well the way every single one of my owners until now has handled me I didn't really feel like showing myself to them!" the new girl replies with rusty, accented English.
$"So yeah, since I apparently finally have an owner who knows his stuff, might as well introduce myself right away!" she continues, facing you.
#"Actually, my friend here simply asked me to see if I could figure out the source of your constant malfunctions", you quickly explain.
#"And I wouldn't exactly call myself an expert on SVTs either, it's only by a chance that I knew of the fact that FDF made changes to at least some of the captured SVTs."
$"Still better than any of the idiots who have tried 'fixing' me in the past, including this one!" she exclaims, she's certainly not happy about what ever she's been through since she was surplussed by the Finnish Army.
¤"Elä kehtoo, elämöidä nyt tuolla tavalla vieraissa!" Hilja interjects, upset that a visitor would raise such a ruckus in front of the master of the house.
>The Tokarev is stunned upon hearing Finnish, she turns towards Hilja, looking her over before asking with a slight accent:
$"Sje puhut suomea?" and before Hilja can respond you decide to interject, now isn't the best time for two milsurp rifles to start a shouting match.
#"She does, as do I, now since you speak English, I suggest you sort things out with your owner at a later time, I take it the problem can be solved by simply using the correct ammo with right load?"
$"Yes! I swear if someone puts another 54r through me, I am going to explode in their face!" she replies, getting worked up again.
#"Please don't, not many people in this country even know there's a difference between Finnish ammo and Russian ammo, left alone know that the difference could be significant enough to cause malfunctions when using the wrong cartridge, so it's not really their fault, is it?" you ask, and she seems to agree. This girl seems to be the embodiment of the Russian temperament...

>The Tokarev turns towards her owner, Mike, they just stare at each other uneasily as neither one of them knows what to say.
§"...Anon, any idea where I can find 53r?" he finally asks.
#"...Midway should have some, though it's expensive and the load might be wrong, I have been experimenting with handloads for Hilja & I think I'm getting pretty close to the WWII -load, the only way to know for certain would be to go to the range and test them" you say as you start looking around the garage trying to remember where you put your latest batch of 53r handloads.
§"...*Of course* you are handloading 53r for her, I shouldn't even be surprised anymore..." Mike replies with a knowing smile, his Tokarev has been listening the whole time and can't seem to wait for you to find the handloads.
#"Here they are, I think this batch of 20 is closest, I tried my best to make sure each one is exactly the same" you say as you finally pull out a repurposed cardboard box and hand it to Mike.
§"...How about we all go to the range to see if these work?" he suggests, it seems he's afraid of what might happen if the loads are off & the Tokarev decides to follow through with her threats.
#"...What do you think, Hilja? Want to go to the range?"
¤"...Why not" she replies after thinking for a moment, as a waffengeist she most certainly is unique in that she doesn't get excited by the thought of going to the range, though when you do she certainly does enjoy being shot. 
>She seems to be drawing some special kind of satisfaction from the reactions of all those AR -fags for whom all Mosins are beat-up mid-WWII -production 91/30s that couldn't hit a barn even if they were fired inside one, only to see you beat them with their $3000 ARs in accuracy despite the fact that they use optics and you do not. 
>You were barely even in top-10 of your platoon during your service in Finnish Army.
>Fuck, now all those memories are coming back, you hope no-one at the range has an Rk with them today...

#"*Of course* there is a guy with one", you think as you arrive at the range and spot a guy with a Valmet M76, the last weapon you wanted to see today.
§"Look, Anon, that guy has an Rk, I wonder if he'll let us try it?" Mike says excitedly, oblivious to your current inner conflict, then again you never told him...
>Mike goes to talk to the man with the M76 as you start loading stripper clips, after a couple of minutes Mike drags the man to where you and the girls are waiting to start.
§"Anon, this is Jack, he said he'd be delighted to let us try his rifle!" Mike is getting carried away, and his Tokarev isn't any more amused with this development than you are.
#"You go ahead, I came here to shoot my M39, also don't forget why we came here in the first place" you say as you double-check your rifle's barrel to make sure it's free of oil.
§"Come on, don't be like that!" Mike says while gesturing you to pick up the M76.
#"Thanks but no thanks"
"You got something against AK -derivatives?" The owner says, clearly agitated.
#"On the contrary, Rks are my favorites, being a Finnish Army reservist and all that" you reply while trying to remain calm.
"Then what gi-" the owner begins, but then stops and instead stares you in the eyes before saying
"...In any case, the offer still stands, should you change your mind" before returning to his spot, Mike following him after giving you a puzzled look.
¤"Let me guess, this is related to those scars on your body?" Hilja asks quietly.
#"Yes" you reply without volunteering any additional information.
¤"Want to talk about it?"
#"Not really, at least not yet" you reply as you resume loading the stripper clips. One of the bigger scars, the one next to your spine, won't stop aching, but somehow it's somehow soothing rather than painful, almost as if...no, that's impossible.
£["Onko?"]
#"-the hell, did you hear that?" you ask the girls in Finnish, startled.
¤"Hear what?" Hilja asks, almost as starled as you.
#"nothing, forget it"

>You decide to wait for Mike to get his fill of shooting with the M76, and before you know you are watching his handling of the rifle closely.
£["Just go shoot that Valmet & show them the Finnish way of changing the mag, pretend you are shooting at a Russian mortar crew or something"] a familiar voice nags at you
#"Shut up, besides when did I tell you abou-" you start saying to Hilja before realizing it wasn't her voice you heard.
¤"??? Did you say something Anon?"
>It can't be.
£["Guess again."] the voice says.
#"Riikka?" you ask in your mind.
£["Does bear crap in the woods? Just go there, it's about time you get over what happened, don't you think?"]
>You give up and go join Mike and the M76's owner, Mike hands you the rifle and a magazine with some ammo.
#"Do you mind if I split these between two magazines?" you ask, and the owner gives you the go ahead.
>You split the ammo evenly, attach the first mag, chamber a round and start shooting, as the rifle goes "click!" you drop the stock under your arm while keeping the muzzle level & pointed towards the target, grab the second magazine, bring it next to the attached one, release the empty mag and attach the new one without dropping the empty one, pivot the rifle so that the charging handle points up, use the magazine to cycle the rifle and continue shooting.
§"...Do you always do a mag change like that?" Mike asks.
#"Yeah, that's how I was trained, though the goal is to know when the last round is chambered & do the mag change before firing the last shot, it's just that I have practiced changing an empty mag far more just in case & as such it comes automatically, now let's go, the girls are probably getting restless" you reply as you hand the rifle to the owner and thank him before walking back to where the girls are.
>The flashbacks you feared didn't materialize after all, maybe you *can* handle shooting an Rk once again after all.
>You spend an hour shooting your rifles, the handloads are spot on.

>On the way back home you are driving because of what's happening in the back seat.
>SVT's mood is the total opposite of what it was before, seeing as she's now clinging to Mike & can't seem to keep her hands to herself, you had to turn the rearview mirror away from the back seat after you almost drove off the road at one point.
§"Sonja, please, not here, Anon almost got us killed because of you!" Mike is desperately pleading with his rifle, turns out she had a name the whole time, but didn't want to reveal it before because of her earlier mood.
>Mike might be saying things like that right now, but in reality he's enjoying it, he'd just rather not have spectators present.
$"Come on, just a little bit more?" she pleads with a voice suggesting she's doing "puppy eyes", which is soon confirmed by Mike giving in.
¤"Soo happy we are not like that", Hilja says an sighs.
¤"Which reminds me, how come you haven't made any passes on me? Are you..." she leaves the question open.
#"Most certainly not, it's just that there are...circumstances" you give a vague explanation.
¤"Hmm?" she raises her eyebrow dangerously before her expression changes to an even more dangerous grin, she's curious now & most likely won't rest until she gets her answers.
#"...I'll explain everything later" you say.
§"!Wha-what are you doing, this is far from "just a little bit more!"" Mike cries out with an unusually high-pitched voice.
#"...For fuck's sake, get a room you two!"
$"That's the plan, isn't it Mike?" Sonja replies as she nibbles on Mike's ear.
>You can't get home fast enough...

>It's already dark by the time you get home, it is decided that Mike and Sonja will stay for the night & you go light the stove in sauna, Mike'll surely appreciate a breather after Sonja's attacks...
#"I wonder if I have any drinks in the fridge" you think to yourself as you walk back towards teh house. 
>Your house, this being America, doesn't have a sauna built-in into the house, so you built a separate one in the corner of your property, the neighbor on that side was not too happy & tried to get the sheriff do something about it, but in the end sheriff "saw things your way" after "an inspection" one Saturday night...
>Just as you are about to enter the house through back door, Hilja comes out.
¤"I put a bottle of vodka in the freezer, the beer in the fridge is nice and cold" she says as she gestures you to go around to the front door, she doesn't want you dirtying her floor when she just cleaned this morning.
>For an outsider her opposition to drinking in the middle of the day only to take the initiative to make sure you have cold booze ready when you come from sauna might seem incomprehensible, but you aren't even surprised at this point.
#"Thank you Hilja" you manage to say before she pushes you out the door and closes it behind you.
>As you enter the house through the front door you can hear Sonja's offensive continuing, from the sound of it Mike won't be needing time to get undressed for the sauna, the question is will you be able to save him on time to make sure he can actually walk by the time sauna is ready...

>The noise is coming from the guest room, you knock on the door and shout through the door:
#"Sauna will be ready in 30 minutes!"
$"Bullshit, it takes at least an hour to heat sauna properly!" Sonja protests, calling your bluff.
#"Fine, 45 minutes, then I'm dragging him out!" you reply and go to kitchen to grab a beer, Hilja is sitting at the table.
¤"Well, you have 45 minutes and nothing better to do, why don't you tell me everything." she says with piercing eyes.
#"Fine, as you may already know, there was another war with Russia, it all started about two months before the war..." you start recounting the story of how you were issued an Rk to be kept at home, how it turned out that the rifle had a waffengeist, how your relationship developed, and what happened to her once the war started.
>Hilja listens closely without interrupting you, as you reach the point you were released from the hospital & felt you needed a change of environment & decided to move to USA she finally talks:
¤"And that's how once you got your Green Card you decided to get a gun?" she asks.
#"Basically yes, as you know my work leaves me with a lot of free time, time which I probably would have spent drinking, so I decided to find a time-consuming hobby, and I have always liked shooting, so to me the choise was pretty obvious."
¤"I thought you needed someone to watch your drinking, turns out I was right." Hilja says with a neutral tone.
#"Maybe, I do admit that having you here to watch after me is probably the best thing that has happened to me in a long time." you reply as you finish your beer & check the time, it's been almost 45 minutes.
>Just as you are about to go check on the "newlyweds" Mike comes out of the guest room, out of breath and wearing only a towel.
#"Good timing, grab a couple of beers from the fridge & let's go!" you say as you grab two for yourself and start walking towards the back door.

>As you soak in the heat, Mike asks you about what happened at the range, you give him a short summary of what happened during the war, leaving out the more intimate details.
§"Shit, I had no idea, no wonder you got so weird all of a sudden, but what, then, made you change your mind?" he says after you finish with your summary.
#"...If I told you I heard her voice nagging at me for being a mopey wimp, would you believe me?" you ask him while throwing more water on the rocks.
§"After everything that happened today? Do you even need to ask?" he asks back.
#"I guess you are right, she certainly was, figuratively speaking, a "larger than life" -character, I guess in her case the expression turned out to be literal..." you agree as you empty your first beer & grab the second one.
§"Wait, you were serious?" Mike asks, not nearly as surprised as his question might suggest.
#"Yes I was, now let's talk about something else, how has your honeymoon been so far?" you change the subject with a shit-eating grin.
§"What are yo-fuck you you damn snownigger!" Mike's retort is a bit late, making it all the more amusing for you.
#"What, is the honeymoon over already?" you tease him a bit more.
§"...Are all Finns crazy like you three?" he asks, apparently counting Sonja as a Finn.
#"Technically Sonja is a Russian who just happens to speak Finnish, though with her accent she could be counted as a Karelian, in which case yes, all Karelians seem to have some loose screws", for the time being you count yourself as a Karelian as well.
>Just as you are about to leave you hear the girls' voices approaching, and in no time Sonja opens the sauna's door and pushes Hilja in before following her, they are both naked, which catches both of you by surprise, Mike also being embarassed while you are somewhat used to mixed sauna.
>Hilja is slighly flustered, but makes no attempts to cover her body, while Sonja is obviously drunk & seems to have lost what little shame she had left.

#"Ah, did we take too long? We were just about to leave" you say as you start getting up.
$"You aren't going anywhere until we wash your backs!" Sonja declares, you try your best not to stare at her...eyes, those big, soft-looking eyes...
>Hilja coughs and looks at you with a dangerous expression, of course she noticed...
¤"Sit right here Anon" she says as she smiles, but no-one could mistake her tone for warm or friendly.
>You do as you are told, when Hilja suddenly says in Finnish:
¤"Wait, I bet Mike didn't beat your back properly with the vasta", vasta being the Karelian name for vihta, a bundle of tree branches used in saunas and banyas to beat oneself and/or others.
>Without waiting for your reply, Hilja grabs on eof the two vihtas you had prepared and starts beating your back with all her strength, Mike looking in horror while Sonja is dying of laughter upon seeing his reaction.
#"He must think Hilja is trying to kill me or something" you think as you let out moans as Hilja beats your back. After a while she stops and starts washing your back like all this were perfectly normal (well it *is* perfectly normal, but Mike doesn't know that)
$"Mike, get down here so I can do the same to you!" Sonja demands, making Mike go pale.
#"Go ahead, it only *looks* bad, in reality it feels quite nice" you say, but Mike isn't buying it.
§"Thanks but no thanks" he says, thinking he has a choice on the matter. He doesn't.
$"Sit, Right. Here!" Sonja demands, and Mike, realizing he has no choice, gives up, and few seconds later the air is filled with his surprised scream as Sonja starts beating him, the initial scream is also the last one as he realizes that you were telling the truth: it does feel quite nice.
>Just as everyone is starting to relax someone shines bright lights at the sauna & someone starts issuing commands over a loudspeaker:
"This is the police, come on out with your hands in the air!"
#"You have *got* to be kidding me!"

>You all grab towels and come out, there are two patrol cars and four cops, all with their guns drawn.
"Identify yourselves!" one of the cops shouts.
#"Just a minute, my ID is in my wallet, which is in my back pocket, which is in my pants, which, I believe, are in the house!" you reply, getting a laugh out of the other three, the cops aren't nearly as amused.
"Where's the owner?" the cop asks.
#"I am, now why are you intruding on my property? What probable cause do you have to enter my property and point guns at me and my friends?" you reply.
"We got a call about suspicious characters sneaking around & alarming sounds coming from that building."
#"What, that god-damn Jackson again? He knows perfectly well that that building is my sauna & that I use it at least twice a week, he's doing this on purpose!" you growl, the cops are unsure how to react.
"I wouldn't call two men and two women going to sauna together exactly normal" the cop that seems to be in charge says.
#"It *is* where I come from, and even if it wasn't I believe it's my and my friend's own business how, when and where we clean our rifles!"
"You-your rifles?" the cop stutters.
>Before you can say anything Hilja and Sonja have already transformed, leaving the cop speechless.
"...In any case we have to check the building" the cop finally says.
#"Unless you have a warrant you will do no such thing, sheriff Williams is more than welcome to take a look personally, but the rest of you need to get the fuck off my property, right now" you say.
"...Just a moment" the cop says as he grabs his radio and starts talking to dispatch, after a while you can hear the sheriff's angry voice berate the poor deputy before he puts the radio back and addresses you again.
"After talking to the sheriff it seems like everything is in order, I apologize for interrupting your...cleaning, have a pleasant evening!" the cop says before turning around and telling the others that they are leaving.

§"What was that all about?" Mike asks as the cops leave.
#"My asshole of a neighbor, Jackson. Apparently he's planning on selling his house & fears that my sauna will drive the value down & as the chairman of the Home Owners' Association he tried to block me from building it, but I never joined the HOA & when HOA tried taking me to court my attorney managed to argue that since I am not a member, HOA's rules don't apply to me, HOA's attorney tried arguing that I shouldn't have been able to buy the house without joining HOA in the first place" you explain, before continuing.
#"The judge threw out the case & right now HOA is taking the matter to the district court, I am willing to go all the way to Supreme Court if I have to, in the mean time Jackson has been harassing me by first trying to get sheriff do something about my sauna, but when Williams agreed with me, Jackson decided to start calling the cops on me using every possible excuse he can find."
§"Man, that's fucked up" Mike says.
#"You're telling me, he's an asshole, but I am not giving in to his harassment, instead I intend to use it as a weapon against him. If this goes to the next level I'm going to "accidentally" leak the story about this harassment to every news media in the district and have him tried by the media, even though it probably won't affect the court's ruling, he'll have much harder time finding someone to buy the property at what ever price he's currently asking for" you reply with a sadistic smile.
§"Have I ever told you how you frighten me from time to time?" Mike asks.
#"You may have said something to that effect yes."

>You return to sauna and after another half an hour of soaking in the heat you move on to the terrace to cool off and "re-hydrate", Mike voices his concerns about your neighbor calling the cops back if you don't at least put on some clothes.
#"Jackson may be an asshole, but he's not a complete retard, he knows that if he calls the cops back when the 'suspicious characters' are obviously still the same Williams will be dragging *him* to the county jail for causing disturbance" you explain to him.
>After some time you four move inside, and almost immediately Sonja drags Mike back to the guest room, almost certainly for Round Two, you turn on the TV and surf through the channels checking if there's anything interesting on, when Hilja comes out of the master bedroom.
#"...Where did you get *that* from, or better yet, *when* did you get it?" you ask while trying to remain calm, Hilja has changed into...something provocative, you aren't entirely sure if it counts as a nightie or as underwear, but in either case the effect is the same.
¤"There's a woman in sexy lingerie in front of you and *that's* the first thing in your mind?" she teases you as she sits on your lap facing you.
¤"Don't tell me you aren't turned on by those two" she whispers in your ear before starting to nibble on it.
#"Why don't you find out?" you ask.
>You had planned on doing some research online tonight, but it's nothing that can't wait until morning. Or the day after, or the day after that.

>Next morning
>You wake up with an ominous feeling, you get up, put on some clothes and grab your phone from the nightstand before stumbling to kitchen for breakfast to find Hilja frying some bacon and eggs. 
>Upon seeing you she moves to block your way to the fridge, apparently expecting you to try and grab some booze in order to fight the hangover that is about to hit, you give up even trying to get past her & decide to check your email while you wait for breakfast.
>You spot a text message from your father, you quickly open the message & after reading the short text you decide that no might on Earth is going to stop you from having a drink even if it's not even noon yet.
>Hilja tries to stop you, but as you show her the message she steps aside.
>You pour yourself at least three shots' worth of vodka & down it in one go before retrieving a box from a closet, upon seeing the box & guessing what you are about to do Hilja says:
¤"At least go wake Mike, you'll need someone to keep it from touching the ground."
>Just as she says this, Mike walks out of the guest room & you gesture him to follow you outside.
>The two of you walk to your flagpole & with Mike's help you raise the Finnish flag, first all the way up & then lower it to half-staff, Mike is unusually quick on the uptake.
§"Someone died?" he asks.
#"My cousin, he was wounded in action during the war, he died in a hospital during the night" you explain.
§"Do you think your neighbor is going to do something stupid?"
>Before you can reply, Jackson and his wife come out of their house & start approaching you, you prepare yourself for an argument when Mr. Jackson speaks:
"Has someone close to you died?"
#"My cousin, he was seriously wounded during the recent war with Russia & died because of it during the night" you reply while still mentally preparing for an argument.
"My condolences, I take it he had connections to Finland?" he says while taking your hand.

#"We were both born and raised there, he moved abroad before the war while I moved here after recovering from my own wounds" you reply, wondering why he'd even ask.
"You are from Finland? I thought you were from one of those damn ex-commie hellholes, like Estonia or something" he says, surprised.
#"No, I'm definitely from Finland" you say as you try to both ignore what he just said & hide your thoughts about it.
"Well, glad to hear my neighbor isn't a catholic heretic after all, I hope you can forgive me my past behavior" mr. Jackson says as he shakes your hand, this sudden change in his attitude has caught you by surprise & you are trying to figure out how to get him and his wife to leave, luckily the wife seems to notice your uneasiness (as far as you know she's remained neutral in your Cold War with her husband, which might explain why things haven't really escalated beyond him calling cops on you):
"Come on now dear, he has more pressing matters to attend to than chat with neighbors!" she says as she drags her husband back to their house.
§"What on Earth was that, last night he called cops on you and now he's offering his condolences while bashing Catholics?" Mike asks, you have never asked but his name suggests Irish ancestry, yet he seems more confused than pissed.
#"I don't know, for the time being I'll file it under "ignorant redneck"" you say.
§"Redneck? He's a Yankee!"
#"What, Yankees can't be rednecks?" you ask.

>You return inside where Sonja is already eating breakfast, Hilja sets a plate of toast, bacon and eggs & a pint of coffee in front of both of you and you start eating. Half-way through Mike's phone tells him he has email & he starts reading it, frowning.
#"What's that, your Marine buddies found another case of Stolen Valor nearby?" you ask, neither one of you likes those posers, but as far as you are concerned actively going after them isn't the right way of dealing with them either.
§"Yes, according to this the poor fucker lives in this very neighborhood & is making sure to let everyone know he's a wounded warrior, have you seen anyone like that?" Mike says while checking the link posted on certain Turkish kebab-recipe sharing board.
#"No, I haven't heard anything of the sort, I figure if there was such a guy Jackson would make sure-" you say before stopping as you come to a realisation, and Mike seems to have arrived to the same conclusion.
§"You don't think your neighbor..."
#"Sure sounds like something he'd do, let me see" you reply while reaching for Mike's phone.
>Mike hands the phone to you & you check the board to see for yourself the details on this poser living in your neighborhood, finding no pictures or any other information that would help in identifying the poser you refresh the page just in case the OP has added more information.
#"Un-fucking-believable" you mutter as you see a photo of your own house posted in the thread, removing any doubt about who the alleged poser is & who posted it.
§"No name or picture of you, just that you have supposedly claimed to be a wounded warrior & that you saw your brother die in Afghanistan" Mike recounts the details listed in the thread.
§"Someone's calling BS, but some people seem to be swallowing it hook, line and sinker" he continues.
#"Meaning that in all likelihood some boot, POG, or boot POG is already on his way here to bust a fake Wounded Warrior & immediately put it on youtube, wonderful"

§"So, do we go outside to take a pic of ourselves in front of the house with shoes on our heads & post it in the thread telling them that the OP is full of shit?" Mike asks.
#"Not yet, do you have your military ID on you?" you ask him back, knowing perfectly well he does.
§"Yes, are you thinking what I am thinking?" Mike, a Marine Staff Sergeant, replies.
#"You chewing out any boot POGs rushing here to bust me, followed by us taking a group photo in front of the house with shoes on our heads, posting it in the thread & telling everyone that the OP is full of shit, screencapping the thread and calling my lawyer to discuss a libel lawsuit?"
§"I wasn't going to suggest suing, but yeah, more or less."
#"Why not, I've got nothing better to do the whole day & could use a distraction from that other matter" you reply.

******

>After much thought you decide that you need another milsurp firearm, this time a pistol, after some searching you find a store with a few Husqvarna m/40s in stock, you'd prefer the original design but they are scarse so the cheap Swedish copy will have to do.
>Thanks to your recently acquired Curio & Relic -license you don't have to travel all the way to New England to get your gun/have it transfered to a local gun store: you can just have it delivered to your house.
>After anxious wait the day is finally here, you almost slam the front door in the delivery guy's face when he rings the bell, you sign the receipt and wish the man a good day before closing the door and walking to the garage, Hilja would probably kill you if you got gun oil and/or any other unwanted gunk on any of the surfaces she has just cleaned this morning.
>As you open the package you have to rub your eyes a couple of times before believing what you see. There's a loaded chamber indicator, the Swedish version never had that. You take a closer look and lo and behold, there's an SA -stamp.
#"Bought the Swedish copy, got the original, for once I can be glad that what I received is not what I ordered."

>You wake up as the box you are in is opened, yet another idiot has bought you thinking you are some cheap Swedish copy, you wonder how long it'll take before he grows tired of your quirks, all of the previous owners gave up pretty fast after no gunsmith could find anything wrong with you.
>Waitaminute, did he just call you "the original"? Could it be...
%"Hey, what are you doing you idiot?!" You exclaim as soon as you notice that he's field stripping you.

>You freeze as the pistol disappears and in its place a young girl appears, she's wearing a simple 1940s -style dress, has a curly, blond hair and sky-blue eyes, she's absolutely flustered.
#"Oh, hello, who might you be?" you ask the girl, you already know she's a waffengeist, you are actually asking about her name.
%"Are you stupid? I'm your pistol!" she shouts at you.
#"I figured out as much, I was asking about your name."
%"...I don't have one" she says and pouts, this one is going to be a handful...
#"How about Aino?" you suggest.
%"Why do I have to be named by a stupid owner?" she asks while still pouting.
¤"What is all this ruckus about?" a new voice asks, it looks like Hilja heard the shouting and came to see what's going on.
#"Looks like we have a new family member" you say while gesturing at the girl who is now looking at Hilja with big eyes.
%"Mama!" she shouts before charging at Hilja who catches her and lifts her up in her arms.
#"...What?" you asks, stunned, Hilja doesn't respond, instead she rubs the girls head and asks.
¤"What's your name sweetie?"
%"...That idiot named me Aino."
¤"Well, I think it's a nice name, but why are you calling him idiot?" Hilja asks. Uh-oh.
%"...He started stripping me as soon as he got me out of the box!" the pistol says with tears in her eyes, Hilja looks at you with murder in her eyes.
#"...I didn't know she's a waffengeist! I just wanted to check her thoroughly while giving her a proper cleaning!" you try explaining the situation, Hilja looks at you suspiciously before saying:
¤"In any case you scared her, the least you can do is give us a ride to the mall so we can get her some clothes, she's going to freeze in such a simple dress."
#...Yes ma'am."

>During the drive to the mall Aino sits on Hilja's lap, they formed a bond immediately, the sight would be rather qute if Aino wasn't glaring at you for the duration of the drive.
>At the mall you simply give your card to Hilja and stay at the car, and after what feels forever the two return. Just as you open the driver's door Aino rushes to you and hugs you.
%"I'm sorry" she says, you pat her head before lifting her up and putting her in the back seat, something which she immediately protests.
%"I want mama!" she demands, looks like Hilja's adoption as her mama is a fact now.
#"Sitting in someone's lap in a moving car is dangerous" you try reasoning with her, in the end Hilja sits in the back with her, now that she's in a better mood she's adorable.
%"Is papa always so strict?" she asks, almost causing you to drive off the road.
¤"Yes he is, so you must be a good girl or he won't take you to the range" Hilja replies, you get the feeling she already made that threat at least once before while they were shopping for clothes. In any case Hilja keeps surprising you over and over again.
#"Strict, me? I am nothing compared to mama's rule of the household" you interject, knowing full well what Hilja's response is going to be.
¤"Aand guess who's going to bed without as much as a nightcap?" she retorts with a smile.
#"See what I mean?" You weren't planning on drinking much tonight anyway so no harm done...

The next day
%"That was fun, when can we come again?" Aino asks as you are leaving the range, you didn't bring much ammo with you so the trip was rather short, but she doesn't seem to mind.
#"If you are good girl we'll come back next weekend" you reply while rubbing her head.
%"Really? I'll be good, I promise!" she declares as she clings to your arm.
>You were a bit worried about how shooting might affect her, after all a lot of geists seem to get aroused by it. Not Aino.
>While she certainly enjoys shooting, like Hilja she doesn't get excited as a result of it, though there is one thing that bothers you.
%"Is something wrong papa?" she asks, apparently noticing a change in your mood.
#"It's nothing to worry about, I was just thinking" you reply while thinking of a way to distract her, but it turns out to be unnecessary as she spots a cat & makes a beeline for it, the cat is caught by surprise but allows her to pet him/her.
>As you watch her pet the cat, you sink back to your thoughts. While she is normally very much like her child-like appearance suggests, the moment you inserted a loaded magazine and took aim you could sense a change in her. A change you know well from the war.
>You can't describe the feeling very well, but it was as if all emotion vanished as you took aim, both of you focusing on the target. After you fired the first shot and it was a hit there was a split second where you could sense satisfaction emanating from her.
>It's the exact same thing you felt every time you aimed your rifle at your target during the war, only it wasn't your rifle but you yourself that reacted that way. You had been wondering about it ever since you noticed the date stamped on Aino's frame, 1940, but now you know for a certain.
>She had seen action, she had taken lives, and she had done so emotionless.
>You had debated whether or not she would be suitable for daily carry, you were worried that shooting a person might scar her. Not bloody likely.

>You are woken up by an unknown voice, as you sit up and reach for your glasses you realize this isn't your house & the voice belongs to someone wearing an M36 summer uniform.
"Sir, another ruski refuses to work, claiming to be too ill" the man in front of you reports.
#"Fine, I'm coming, hand me my belt will you" you find yourself saying as you reach for the tunic hanging from the back rest of the chair in front of what seems to be your desk. You notice the tunic has lieutenant's insignia.
>After dressing up you follow the man, a sergeant, out of the hut & into a yard surrounded by a number of barracks, there's a barbed-wire fence visible through the gaps between the buildings.
>You follow the sergeant into one of the barracks where two soldiers are struggling to hold a man down.
#"That's enough wrestling, take him outside!" you hear yourself bark & the men obey, dragging the struggling man outside, you follow them & as you are all a good distance away from the barracks you suddenly pull your pistol and shoot the prisoner in the back of his head.
#"Assemble a burial detail" you say to the sergeant before returning to your lodgings.
%"Did I do well papa?" you hear a familiar sound.
#"You did really well Veera" you reply as you turn towards the voice, it's the L35 pistol you know as Aino.
>You wake up in your own bed covered in sweat, Hilja looks at you with a worrying expression.
¤"Did you have a bad dream?"
#"If only, I think I saw a memory of Aino from the war" you reply. Now that you are awake & can think straight you remember seeing those buildings before, in old photos from the war.
#"She belonged to the commandant of Jalkala POW -camp" you explain to Hilja as you look her in the eyes.
#"That man executed POWs, and enjoyed every second of it."
¤"Good God!" Hilja exclaims.

>You can't see Aino as such a monster, but the cold calmness and satisfaction emanating from each hit start to make more sense.
>Geists tend to strive to please their shooters, Aino is no exception. Her first shooter was a sadistic monster who enjoyed executing prisoners, small surprise she can go from a cheerfull child to such a cold, emotionless being when it's time to do some shooting.
%"Papa?" Aino asks as she appears in her human form.
%"Was Aino a bad girl?" she asks with a scared expression, nearly in tears.
#"No, Aino is not a bad girl" you reply, making it seem as if you misheard her question, thus avoiding answering it.
%"So we are still going to go shooting over the weekend? she asks with a hopefull tone, so that's what she was worried about you think as you smile and nod.
#"Yes Aino, we are."
%Yay!" she exclaims as she jumps into your arms and hugs you.
>What ever she did during the war it's not her fault you think, but one thing is for sure: you are going to find something else for a daily carry.
¤"Neither of you is going anywhere if you don't help with the chores over the week!" Hilja states firmly.
#"Yes ma'am" you reply.
%"Mama is mean!" Aino exclaims and pouts.
#"A good girl helps with the chores without being told to" you respond, knowing full well how Hilja is going to retort.
¤"And a good papa sets a good example" she says with a knowing smile, she isn't going to be fooled that easily.
>Worth a try.

******
>You were not born in Japan, but right now you have to be able to be a Ninja.
>If the guard spots you, it's over, your goal will not be achieved today.
>Slowly, you sneak into the kitchen, fighting the urge to sneeze.
>The Guard is in another room, if you time your actions right you should be able to open the fridge without being heard.
%"Papa, shouldn't you be in bed?" Aino asks.
>Before you can reply Hilja enters the kitchen.
¤"Yes he should, now what might you be trying to do?" she says with a knowing smirk.
#"...I was thinking a little bit of Jäger wouldn't hurt, as a medicine you know?" you try to explain, knowing you aren't winning this one.
>Hilja walks up to you grabs you by the collar and drags you to bed, saying
¤"You *will* stay in the bed, we'll see about 'medicine' later."
>Defeated, you lay down in the bed as Hilja pulls the blanket over you, James appears out of nowhere to lie on your chest.
¤"Keep an eye on Papa, won't you James?" Hilja asks the tuxedo kitty while petting him, getting a soft "mrour" as a reply.
#"Et tu, James" you whisper as you pet your Guard #2.
%"No fair, why is James allowed to take a nap with Papa?" Aino protests, already climbing on the bed.
#"We'll make today an exception" you reply as you hug Aino.
>You turn your head to the other side to see a glass containing dark brown liquid.
¤"Just this one glass, is that understood?" Hilja says sternly from the doorway.
#"Understood."