>It's a cold and snowy morning.
 
>Much like any other before it.
 
>My alarm clock is beeping incessantly in the dark, drawing out a groan in protest
 
>I slammed the top of it, finally putting an end to the beeping
 
>As I pull my arm back, I grabbed my phone, unlocking it in one swift motion.
 
>There's a message from my fiancee. She says she knows the time is coming, and that she'd like to see me as soon as possible.
 
>My throat begins to burn at the realization that last night's dream of the chemo being successful was just that. A dream.
 
>The doctors had caught it late. Nearly at stage four. It was a particularly aggressive form of acute leukemia. They said it had already entered stage four and gave her two months to live.
 
>I silently tell myself that today is the day. The day I finally made good on my word.
 
>I had been picking up overtime, extra shifts, and doing any side work I could find to help get extra cash for the perfect ring.
 
>I get dressed and headed to my car, intentionally skipping breakfast to ensure that I have as much time as possible to spend with her.
 
>I arrive at the jewelry store where I had already picked out a ring. A perfectly flawless half carat diamond with a white gold band.
 
>I pay the man and thank him for his assistance, even offering to pay extra in the future for cutting me a special deal on it after he learned of our circumstances.
 
>I then began the hour long ride to her parent's house, where she had moved in so that they could help provide medical assistance if it was needed.
 
>Upon entering the driveway I notice that no cars are there. I panic and call her mother. She picks up on the fourth ring, and sorrowfully says to me that she was found unresponsive in her bed, barely clinging on to life.
 
>"I'm so sorry anon."
 
>After she hangs up, I recieved a text message from her father. "Room 327b"
 
>I ran back to my car, flinging the door open and speeding down the road to the hospital, paying no heed to the dangers of the now icy roads.
 
>After what seems like an eternity, I make it to the hospital. Running down the halls, I follow the signs to her room.
 
>Her parents are outside crying. A doctor walks in the room while two nurses follow at his heels, gurney in tow.
 
>I was too late.
 
 
>I peer into the room through the window, and see a figure in the bed with a sheet covering them.
 
>All I can do is stagger back, lean against the far wall, slide down, and rest my head against my knees.
 
>Every fiber of my being is screaming in pain, but for some reason I am unable to cry.
 
>After some time, I managed to stand. By then she had already been wheeled out of the room.
 
>I slowly walk down the hall, my body in near physical pain from sorrow but my mind too numb for it to register.
 
>I somehow manage to climb into my tiny car but can't seem to find it in me to turn the key. "If I sit here for long enough perhaps I might freeze" I think to myself. "I suppose that wouldn't be so bad".
 
>After an hour, the cold becomes too much. I turn the key, and the engine turns over. Slowly at first but gradually building up. I lethargically put it into drive and begin my long drive home.
 
>I make it back to my humble little abode, and it's all I can do to simply climb the stairs of my porch. Somehow I make it though and upon entering my house I immediately went to my bed for a nap. I had hoped that it would do me good and that when I woke up it would all be a dream.
 
>This wasn't the case.
 
>I woke up to the sun setting through the window, casting a ray of light onto my face. I hesitantly looked to my right. The box with the ring in it still laid where I put it, and I knew that she was gone.
 
>My gaze immediately turned to the corner of my room, looking at the rifle that she had bought me. The only thing it needed now was a trigger and it would be complete.
 
>She initially bought me a receiver for my birthday, and I had purchased a kit for it soon after. We had planned on taking it to the range in the spring. Just the two of us.
 
>Unfortunately that would never happen now.
 
>I decided in the spur of the moment that I would dedicate this rifle to her, and lovingly engraved "Виктория" onto the right side of the handguard in very small print.
 
>This way, she would live on through the rifle.
 
It was then that I decided to spend the next day finding a new trigger for my Viktoria.
 
>And so, I went to sleep.
 
>The next morning I awoke, once again checking my phone for any new texts I may have gotten while I was asleep.
 
>To my surprise there was one, although it was from Victoria's mother, asking me to come over soon and look through her old things.
 
>"I suppose anything's better than drowning myself in drink".
 
>After finishing my coffee I threw on my favorite hoodie, the one she gave to me for christmas. Although it was sporting the logo of my least favorite Austrian pistol manufacturer, I don't mind. After all, it's the thought that counts.
 
>Soon after, I was pulling up in front of her old place. Her mother half tackled and half embraced me in one swift motion, the small woman nearly causing me to fall over
 
>"I'm so glad to see you anon. You meant everything to our baby girl and I think you're the reason she kept on fighting. Thank you".
 
>"Hey, don't mention it. I'm just glad I could be there when she needed me the most" I said, trying to keep from choking up. There was no sense lying to myself. I wasn't there for her when she took her last breaths and I know I'll never forgive myself for it.
 
>"Do you need any help moving things?"
 
>"Oh no dear, no need at all. Just go through things and see if there's anything you would like".
 
>Can't really argue with that.
 
>I went inside, poking around. I found a few things. Trinkets mostly. I may have even swiped the pair of panties that she wore the first time we had sex. Sentimental value and all.
 
>Finally, I came across a small box in her nightstand. It had a small puzzle piece taped to the top. Underneath it was a small slip of paper that read "The last piece. Happy anniversary Anon."
 
>Opening the box I found something I never would have expected to see. A simple tapco trigger unit. Nothing fancy, but it would definitely do the job.
 
>Almost as soon as I arrived I was on my way back home again with nothing but a trigger unit and pair of panties in tow.

>As I pulled myself out of my car with a grunt I had only one thing on my mind. I was finally going to finish that rifle. For her.

>After a few seconds of fumbling with my keys I manage to unlock my door. My hands trembling with excitement surely didn't help.

>I excitedly do a little half jog back into my bedroom, picking up my rifle and bringing it straight to the bench.

>I lay it down and immediately begin taking out all the moving parts. It doesn't take long, as I've done it many times out of sheer boredom.

>I stand up slightly, emptying my pockets for comfort. The box as well as the panties and my wallet soon make their way to the tabletop.

>After a few minutes of fiddling around, I finally get the trigger in.

>Looking at it, I say to myself "Why the hell not?", and reach for the lubricant.

>I apply it to a 12ga patch and begin to wipe down the rails, taking note of the bulged trunnion.

>When I tilt it forward, a bit of excess lubricant drips out of the magwell.

>"Yeah, I used too much. Whatever."

>I then decide to inspect the rest of the gun, taking off the furniture, cleaning the gas tube, everything. The whole nine yards.

>Re-assembling it proves to be no challenge, and the gun is reassembled in well under thirty seconds.

>Until I realize I forgot to put the stock back on like a dumbass.

>"Shit. That needs to go back o-"

>A deep gurgling from my stomach cuts me off. I know my time has come. 

>I stand up in an instant and half yell a quick prayer as I dash to the bathroom, preparing for the second coming of last night's five-alarm chili.

>45 minutes, a whole lotta air freshener, and a few manly tears later I emerged from the bathroom weak-kneed but victorious.

>"Fuck it" I say. "Time for a beer."

>I open the fridge and grab a Heineken. "It could be worse" I say to myself with a slight shrug

>I bang the cap off on the counter and prop up against a wall

>I bring up /k/ and start checking out the /akg/ thread to see if I can find some inspiration for my rifle.

>I begin shuffling slowly back to my gun room and as I walk through the doorway I hear a distinctly feminine sneeze.

>I look up and see a girl in her late teens or early twenties sitting on my table rubbing her nose in a sort of post-sneeze daze. 

>She looks to be quite tall for a girl as well, pushing six feet. She's wearing what appears to be faded olive green pants and a plain white tank top and is sporting short dusty blonde hair with a very choppy looking haircut. And are those...cat ears?

>"Who the hell are you?" My sudden presence catching her completely off guard, causing a surprised squeek

>"чepт вoзьми you scared me. Do you have any food?"

>"I do, but I'd like to know who you are before I decide to share."

"Oh. Well I'm your rifle. It looks like you finally got all my parts together."

>"You can't be serious."

>"Oh but I am!" she gleefully says, instantly disappearing a small glow of light.

>My rifle balances upright for a mere second before falling off the table and clattering onto the floor.

>The rifle quickly begins to glow and in an instant reverts to human form.

>She groans in pain, but doesn't move. Her clothes are ruffled up exposing the small of her back and the base of what looks like a tiger's tail tucked into her pants.

>Great. Nothing better than a rifle with shedding issues

>"Good job. You alright?"

>"Just leave me here to die"

>"It wasn't that bad of a fall. Come on, let me help you up" I say as I grab her by the right arm, half flipping her over and pulling her up and looking her in her pale blue eyes.

>The sudden eye contact catches her off guard and she quickly looks down and to the side, her face getting even redder.

>"You have a name?" I ask as I brush the dust off her shoulder

>"You really don't remember?" She says, looking at me like a puppy whose master had just kicked it

>She sighs and lifts up the right side of her plain white tank top and exposes what looks like a small tattoo on the underside of her right breast. 

>"Bиктopия"

>"I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you when I did that? I didn't know you were actually...alive."

>"No, it wasn't so bad. It would take a lot more than that to cause me any real pain while I'm in my rifle form. Besides, I'm a LMG. I can take it." She said with a sly grin

>"I hate to shit on your parade, but you know you don't have an auto sear any more, right?"

>"O-oh. Okay..."

>She hangs her head and begins to walk to the bathroom. Slowly but surely makes her way in and closes the door behind her.

>Not two seconds after closing the door I hear her begin to cough before starting to violently fumble with the lock

>I briskly make myway over to the door and just as I walk in front of it, the door is flung open and a panicked, gasping cat-gun-girl flies out, tackling me to the ground and landing on top of me

>She gets on all fours leaning over me, panting. With hate in her eyes and venom on her tongue she clearly says

>"What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do. In. That. Room."

>I say almost stuttering "I-I...you see, I made this chili last night and I uh-"

>She cuts me off. "You do it again and I'll break your arms. It smells like you tried to cremate your pet skunk in a cooking oven and tried to cover the smell with shitty flowers. You're going to make this up to me".

>"Wanna go get some food?"

>Her whole demeanor changes in an instant, going from nightmarish to adorable.

>"дa. That will do." She says, dropping down onto me and snuggling into the side of my neck "That will do."

>"Well, what do you say finish getting you put back together?"

>She looks at me confused.

>"Hold on a second" I say, pushing her off the top of me

>She grunts as she ungraciously flops onto the ground next to where I was laying before turning her head to gaze into my general direction

>I come back dangling her stock in my hand.

>When she realizes what I'm holding she goes wide eyed and turns red as a beet.

>"Y-YOU PERVERT! WHY DID YOU TAKE MY PANTIES?"

>Wat

>"You came to life before I could get you all the way back together!" I frustratingly tried to explain, stock in hand

>She storms over to me and punches me in the gut and swipes the stock from out of my grasp. As soon as she takes them they transform into a pair of black lace panties in a flash.

>"YOU CAN'T JUST GO STEALING MY PANTIES LIKE SOME PERVERT! YOU JUST MET ME!" She screams.

>As she rants she waves them around in my face, nearly causing me to erupt into laughter.

>And then something catches my eye.

>"Wait. Hold up." I grab her by the hand and she freezes.

>"Why are these crotchless?" I ask pointing at them

>"I-it's the hole for the cleaning kit. Don't get the wrong idea!"

>"You're a pervert."

>She immediately goes red in the face. "I'm not a pervert damn you!"

"Heh. Yeah, sure thing, V. You need my help getting your stock back on?"

>"Nonononono, I'll manage. Just turn around and don't look."

>"Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever" I jokingly say as I turn around.

>"No peeking!"

>"Alright just hurry up!"

>I hear her belt unclasp and her pants shifting before they slowly hit the floor, piquing my curiosity.

>I peeked.

>Underneath her baggy pants she hid a wonderful figure. Toned legs, a shapely ass, and two perfectly placed dimples on her lower back. Nevermind the tail.

>Dammit anon, don't pop a boner. Whatever you do, DON'T pop a boner.

>Shit. I popped a boner.

>"Alright anon you can look now."

>I try thinking of the most disgusting things I possibly can. Dianne Feinstein's wrinkly snatch, coleslaw, hi point handguns. Nothing works.

>"Is something wrong anon?" She asks with a hint of concern in her voice

>I turn around slowly, bracing for the worst

>She notices.

>"Why does the private stand at attention?" She jokingly asks. "You didn't look, did you?"

>"N-no. Of course not"

>"Shame. I would have been quite flattered if that was the case. What do you say we get some food then?"

>I follow her out but can't help staring down.
>Her hips are moving like a pendulum, her dimples clearly visible and tail flicking side to side
>It's absolutely hypnotic.
>"So what are you in the mood for?"
>"Hm. I don't know." What would you like?"
>Fucking women.
>"I know just where to take you." I say, sliding down into the driver's seat of my grey 07 Acura.
>She plops down beside me, her tail brushing against my right arm
>So where are we going
>"It's called Zaxby's. They have mostly fried chicken stuff there. It's really good."
>"That sounds great! Thanks a ton anon!" She says ecstatically
>"So when was the last time you ate?" I ask, turning down the radio volume so I can hear her talk
>"1994"
>"So it's been more than two decades since your last meal?"
>She nods quickly
>"Since I was last fired too."
>"Well don't be afraid to order a large portion. I wasn't planning on ordering much regardless."
>"I'm gonna end up falling for you if you keep doing things like this you know!" She laughingly says, a huge smile on her face
>I reach over and ruffle her hair, prompting her to arch her back and push against my hand
>"Something tells me that wouldn't be such a bad thing."

>I drive down the road as she endlessly plays with the radio, and if there was ever one time you regretted getting satellite radio, this was it.

>Before long she squeals with joy, causing me to wince

>"I love this song! Have you heard it before?"

>"I can't say I have. Have you?" I asked, lightheartedly challenging her

>"No, but I really like it..." She says, looking down embarrassedly

>"Well if you shazam it I'll put it on a playlist so you can listen to it any time" I say before pulling my phone out, opening the app and handing it to her

>She taps the screen and shows it to me.

>"The Surgeon by Infected Mushroom"

>Huh. That's an interesting name for a ban-OH SHIT

>I jerk the wheel hard to the left to avoid missing my turn, followed by a scream and a loud THUNK 

>"Unnhhhhh"

>"Shit, V are you alright?" I look over to see her still seemingly stuck to the window with what appears to be saliva on it

>She peels herself off of it, rubbing her head

>"Can you please give me a warning before you try to kill me next time? I really didn't enjoy that."

>"Sorry, that was my mistake. But on the bright side we're finally here. Wanna go in?"

>"Yeah, sure."

>I walk ahead of her to catch the door for her and follow her in. By the time I get back to her side she's gazing at the pictures on the menu like they're the most beautiful thing in the world

>My wallet is practically screaming already

>"What's that thing? 

>"That has wings and chicken fingers. It's probably what I'll be getting."

>"Can I please get two? I'll make it up to you if you do!"

>I force a smile and approve, and she orders two for herself and one for me. I nearly cry as I see my total on the register. Thirty fucking dollars

>Oh well. It's worth it so long as my Viktoria is happy.

>For some reason she asks for a cup of water as well. The woman behind the counter hands us our cups and she runs off to the fancy soda dispenser. The same woman calls me to the side, catching me by surprise.

>"Sorry to be rude, but why does your girlfriend have cat ears?

>Shitshitshitshitshit

>"Oh that? It's just a headband. Don't tell her I told you, but she's big into those chinese cartoons and sometimes she just likes to wear it around."

>"Oh, alright. Everybody has their thing I guess. I'll let ya'll know when your food is ready."

>I walk back over to the table she picked out for us. Just a small two seater in the back corner of the restaurant, completely isolated from the view of others

>She sits there holding a cup of ice against the right side of her forehead

>She looks up at me with a sort of half-grin

>"What's with the i-"

>She cuts me off. "Still hurts".

>"I'm really sorry. Want me to take a look at it?"

>"Nah, I'm fine. Just trying to make you feel bad. I got the ice just to nibble on."

>"Gee, thanks. You made me feel terrible."

>"You're buying me food so all is forgiven. Plus I'm already in your debt for bringing me back after all these years. I'll make it up to you." She says smugly.

>"ORDER 227!"

>"That's us".

>I get up and head to the front, grabbing the food. I snatch a fistful of napkins on the way back.

>She looks at me wide eyed as I bring the plates back. "Holy shit that's a lot of food."

>"Yeah, that's what $30 gets you here.

>"Anon I think I love you." She says. If it wasn't for the fact that I just bought her a massive amount of food I'd have almost taken her seriously.

>She immediately picks up a chicken finger and bites down on it.

>"Oh wow, this is really good!"

>"Hell yeah it is. It's my favorite place to go for all things chicken." She doesn't seem to notice my comment as she sucks down fistfuls of fries like some sort of food vacuum.

>"After you finish eating I've got a little secret for you too."

>"Really? Tell me! Please?"

>"Nope. Gotta eat your food first."

>"Aww, don't be mean. Pretty please~"

>"Nope. We need to enjoy the mean before I tell you. Besides, I have a question to ask you first."

>"What is it?"

>"I've noticed you have a few scars so I'm curious as to where all you've been in the past. Were you a battlefield rifle?"

>"Oh." She replies with a bit of sorrow in her voice. Judging by this, it's safe to say that she'd definitely seen some things in her time. 

>"It's a bit of a sore spot but since you're my owner you deserve to know. I was used by a serbian soldier in Sarajevo. He never saw me in this form until he was shot and lay dying. I comforted him as he took his last breaths. I was then picked up, my reciever agonizingly demilled, and sent in parts to a warehouse in the states. After many years, you ordered me and gave me a new reciever. You saved me."

>"I'm sorry to hear that. I never knew."

>"I know you didn't. I can't be mad."

>"If you ever need to talk just let me know. I'll be here for you, okay?"

>"Thank you anon. You're a good person."

>The next few minutes are spent in near silence as she forks down the food like someone who hasn't eaten in nearly two decades.

>Perhaps there's a reason for that.

>As she finishes she excitedly pipes up. "So what's the secret you've been hiding from me?"

>"Well, before you came alive, I ordered a drum, some 40 rounders, and an entire 1000 round box of military grade ammunition. Non-corrosive too. I'm planning on taking you shooting as soon as they come in."

>She looks me in the eyes and smiles.

>"Anon, I have a secret for you too. Come closer so I may whisper it to you."

>I stand up and go to her, leaning down to eye level and turning my left ear to her.

>She places her hand on the right side of my chin and turns my head to face hers.

>She closes her eyes and leans in to me, planting her lips on mine, kissing me deeply.

>After a few seconds she pulls away, blushing slightly and gently resting her hand on my right cheek

>"I have never had somebody treat me as well as you have. I will never forget you doing this for me. Thank you so much anon."

>"Don't mention it. You're my rifle, and that means I'm going to take care of you no matter what." I say with a slight grin.

>"What do you say we head back home?"

>"Let's." She says, sporting the biggest, most genuine smile I've seen in ages.

>She gets up, taking my hand and leading me out. We both walk out to my car and I open the door for her before getting in myself.

>I turn the key, and we slowly begin our late night trek home.

>"So what are we going to do about the whole sleeping situation?" I say, turning down the radio just a bit

>"Well, I have a bipod so if you want to just set me on the floor then you can. It's not an issue."

>"Nonono that's not gonna cut it. After the shit you've gone through you deserve to be treated to something nice. We just need to figure out sleeping arrangements for tonight."

>"Well I can always take the couch if you'd like." She says in a rather unenthusiastic manner

>"No, I'll take the couch. I'll change the sheets on the bed when I get home and you can sleep there. Sound good?" I say with a smirk

>"Anon, may I ask you something?"

>"Anything"

>"Why are you treating me so well?"

>"You're my rifle, and it's my job to take care of you. Besides, you were named after somebody very close to me."

>"I know this anon. I remember her."

>"But you weren't alive then?"

>"Just because I could not speak or move does not mean I could not hear."

>"So you know?"

>"I do."

>I'm sorry. She meant a lot to me and with what happen-"

>She puts her finger to my lips, cutting me off

>"Anon, just as you take care of me, I will take care of you. Please remember this."

>"I will."

>And with that, we pull into my driveway.

>As I step into the house just ahead of her, I feel two arms come around me and begin to fumble with my belt

>She manages to unclasp it and starts to fiddle with the button as I grab her hand

>"V, not tonight." I say.

>"Lighten up. I'm just trying to tease you a little." She says with a pout

>"Of course you are. Just let me get the sheets on the bed changed real quick."

>"Hey anon...can you leave them on? They have your scent on them already and it might help me sleep" she says, bashfully rubbing her left arm 

>"Heh. Yeah, that'll be fine. Need anything else?" I say as she walks into the room. A tank top and bra are flung against the wall.

>"Nope!" She says, poking her head through the doorframe. "I think that's everything. Goodnight anon!"

>The sound of quick footsteps are followed by a pause, and then the squeaking of bedsprings. After that, a satisfied sigh and deep breaths.

>God she's adorable.

>I get undressed for bed and grab a blanket as well as a small throw pillow before walking over to the couch. As I do, my phone goes off.

>It's a text from Victoria's mother. Funeral plans.

>I make note of them, cover myself, and begin to drift off

>After what feels like just a few minutes I wake up to what sounds like somebody outside on the front porch. 

>DEFCON fucking 1 

>I look at the clock. 2:27 AM.

>This is totally not good

>Grabbing my machete I creep to the door

>Looking out the peephole I see nothing.

>Taking a deep breath and shakily raising my blade I fling the door open

>"AAAAAHHhhh...motherfucker."

>My neighbor's labrador Larry lazily looks up at me, likely irritated for interrupting his rest.

>"Oh for christ's sake Larry. Fuck off. Go back home." I say, squatting down and lightly poking him in the stomach with my finger.

>He lets out a heavy sigh and lays his head back down.

>"Alright, whatever. Have fun laying in the snow." I say, shaking my head and walking back inside

>It's way too cold out there to just be in boxer briefs anyway

>As I round the corner I'm greeted by one very sleepy looking LMG.

>It's hard to see in the low light but she appears to be topless and is making no effort to cover herself. She's sporting easy C cups and pair of olive green pants. Hastily put on too, judging by the sound of her belt buckle jingling freely. 

>"Don't look at her chest. Whatever you do, don't look at her chest" I repeat to myself in my head

>"What were you screaming about? I was nearly asleep"

>"I uh...I'm sorry. I thought I heard someone outside so I went to see what it was."

>"With just a machete?"

>"I mean, yeah. I didn't really have much else to u-"

>"Did you forget?" She cut me off, sounding amused and irritated at the same time

>"Forget what?"

>"I may look like a girl but I'm still your rifle you know. Why not use me?"

>"I just didn't want to wake you up is all"

>"I wasn't even asleep." She says with a bit of a whine, rubbing her eye with her wrist

>"I'm sorry. Anything I can do to help?"

>"Can you...can you just come cuddle with me? Your bed is really cold with only me in it" She looks down, definitely blushing

>"I suppose a bit of cuddling wouldn't hurt" I say with a slight smirk. "Especially if it helps you sleep better."

>She walks up and embraces me. "You're the best!" She says, burying her head into the side of my neck and her tail flicking side to side

>As she squeezes her chest against mine I feel something like two soft beads poking into me

>"Are those her? Shit, yeah. Yeah they are." I think to myself, trying to take a mental cold shower in an attempt to prevent anything embarrassing from happening

>Only then did I realize that my member seemed to have other plans, quickly rising to full mast

>This is bad. This is really bad.

>I try to gently push her off, but she's not budging. All it's making her do is stand on the tips of her toes and nuzzle into the side of my neck even more

>I try to move her again, reaching my hand around to push her off a bit more forcefully. She moves at just the last second and I quickly end up with a handful of boob

>FUCK

>"Ahhh~ You pervert~" she purrs into my ear, definitely enjoying it

>All the sudden, she squeezes my body tighter to hers, closing the gap between our hips

>She squeaks

>Ohhh shit. I just poked her with it.

>While still holding on to me with her left arm, she curiously reaches her right arm down, waving it around until she brushes against it

>Her suspicions confirmed, she lets out a very unattractive snort followed by a bout of laughter as she turns and gingerly steps into the doorway to my room

>"You're such a pervert anon. Get in here before I change my mind" She says teasingly.

>I oblige and follow her back into the bedroom

>I crawl under the covers first, raising my arm to invite her into bed with me

>I head her the crumpling of fabric, quickly followed by the abrupt thud of her belt buckle hitting the wood floor.

>A slim figure hovers over me for what seems like only a second before crawling into my arms with a light giggle, assuming the role of the little spoon.

"We should do this every night anon."

>In an instant, she's fast asleep.


>The next few hours were a special kind of hell. I initially tried to pull my arm out from under her but she had it pinned. Within minutes it fell asleep.

>Second was the hair. Since she's only a few inches shorter than me, I had a face (and nose) full of hair the entire night.

>Next was the absurdly high temperature of the bed. My legs had begun to sweat, and since I couldn't move, I was forced to lay there awake, overheating, in mild pain, and with a face full of hair

>Come to find out she snores too. Loudly.

>Worst of all was the farting. Not only did each and every one scare me since it was loud and out of the blue, but the gas seemed to always move to the top of the bed and rise from the covers, effectively trapping me in a hot, smelly, and hairy hell.

>By morning, my body had all but given up, and I had accepted the inevitability of my doom.

>As sunlight starts to peek through the blinds she starts to slowly move around. Suddenly she takes a deep breath while stretching her legs before curling them up again and hugging the blanket "Mmm. Good morning anon. Sleep well?"

>She turns to me. I'm wide-eyed and have a thousand yard stare. My eyes are bloodshot and it wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said I hadn't blinked in an hour.

>"Oh god. You uh...you don't look so good. Want me to make us some coffee?"

>"Please"


>"Hey. Let's go grab a bite to eat" I say, lightly poking her just above her navel

>She laughs and curls up a around my arm before looking up at me again, a stupid grin on her face

>"You know I'll eat till you're broke, right?" She jokes

>"Sure do. Thankfully the place we're going is all you can eat."

>"Wait, that's actually a thing? They never had those where I'm from."

>"Ah, I forgot you're a fun-hating european" " I say smugly

>"Hey screw you. I have fun. Just my idea of fun is a bit different from yours."

>"So what's your idea of fun then?"

>"Killing Bosniaks."

>"That's somewhat morbid."

>"Don't pretend you don't love me though~"

>"Yeah, I guess you're kinda cute" I say with a grin

>"Aww, you think I'm cute!" She squeaks with excitement as she stands up and plops back down in my lap

>Her tail begins to wave quickly as if she's up to something. Suddenly she begins leaning back, pressing me into the couch

>"V...what are you doing?"

>"You said I'm cute. I just want to see if you really meant it~" She says with a giggle

>"Come on, get up. Let's head on out of here. Need a coat?"

>"I can handle the cold. I'm a gun, remember?"

>"Alright, suit yourself."

>I grab my coat and head out to the car, Viktoria in tow.

>The car takes a second to start, but in no time we're on our way to the buffet.

>"Hey V, I've been meaning to ask you something."

>"What's up?"

>"Can you see while in rifle form? I know you said you could hear, but you never mentioned sight."

>"No, I can't. Is this bad?" A sliver of an accent can be heard in her voice

>"So you've never seen her..."

>"Seen who?"

>"Your namesake."

>"Oh...no, I haven't."

>"Would you like to?"

>"But she's-"

>"I know. There's a visitation being held for her. I'd like you to come with me."

>"Anon I...Thank you."

>"We'll go shopping after we eat. Sound good?"

>"Yeah...Yeah that sounds good."

>The rest of the ride is quiet. We pull in and climb out of the car.

>"Hey Anon. Have you considered getting a bigger car?"

>"Not really."

>"Hey Anon?"

>"Wat"

>"I'm coooold~"

>"Oh for fuck's sake. Get over here" I say, taking my jacket off

>As she shivers I drape the coat over her shoulders

>She turns and embraces me, her ice cold forehead burying itself into my neck

>She stays there, not wanting to let go

>I kiss her on the temple and wrap my hand around the back of her head, holding her tighter to me for a brief moment

>I hear her mumble something, her voice muffled

>"Ah uhv ou"

>She looks up at me expectantly, the clouds from our breaths mingling

>"Come on, let's get inside"

>As we walk through the doors we're greeted by a young woman. She looks at me for a second before exclaiming "Anon?!"

>OhgoodgodIdontevenknowyou

>"Yeah...that's me."

>"It's good to see you! I was Vicky's friend before she passed. And uh...who's this?" 

>Viktoria tries to hide behind me as soon as she's pointed out, wrapping her arms around my waist.

>"This is V. She's a uh...friend of mine."

>"You can't be serious. It hasn't been a week and you've already replaced her?!"

>"Nonono! She's just a friend!"

>As soon as I say that, Viktoria's hand makes a dive southward, grabbing my crotch.

>YoupieceofshitIhateyousomuch

>She looks at me completely shocked "How can you do that?! Get the hell out of my resturant. You're a fucking piece of shit."

>"For fuck's sake V. Let's get out of here."

>"Fine by me~"

>As we turn to leave, she looks over her shoulder with a shit eating grin and waves her fingers goodbye in a teasing manner.

>"The hell man. Why did you do that?"

>"I don't like her."

>"Apparently. Now what are we going to do? Not only is there a possibility that she might be at the funeral but we still need to find a place to eat."

>"Wanna just get a burger?" She asks plainly.

>"Yeah, sure. There should be a five guys at the mall."

>We pile back into the car and set off once again.

>By the time I grab my wallet and pull myself out of the car she's already waiting by my door, practically jumping with joy.

>"Somebody looks excited." I say amusedly

>"Of course I am! I've never been shopping before!"

>"Well come on then. No sense waiting out here."

>Just as we're about to start on our way, I remembered something. I pop the trunk and ruffle around my bug out bag.

>After a few seconds I find what I was looking for, a dark earth beanie.

>"Hey V! Put this on. It'll cover your ears.

>"Do you not like my ears?"

>"I think they're cute and all but it's to help keep people from realizing you're a rifle."

>"Oh, okay." She says glumly. "At least it will keep them warm."

>I reach up and ruffle her hair

>"You'll be fine. Now let's head in."

>She slides the beanie on and begins to follow me, quickly catching up

>"Hey anon?"

>"What's up?"

>"Do you think people might see us together and think we're...you know...a couple?"

>"Maybe. Is that a problem for you?"

>Her face goes red.

>"No...It's not bad at all. Plus there's a lot worse looking people you could be seen with." She jokes in a very awkward and forced tone


>As we near the doors I feel a hand tugging at my sleeve

>I look down and see her hand is outstretched, open and inviting.

>Without missing a beat I grab her hand, noticing a faint smile starting to appear on her face.

>"You did good Anon" I think to myself. "You did good."

>Going through the doors was like walking into a whole new world for her. Racks of clothing, scantly clad mannequins, and countless shoppers populated the floor.

>Like any girl, she went wild.

>"This credit card bill is gonna suck" I think to myself.

>All the while, Viktoria is darting around the store like a terrier on cocaine.

>"Anon come here!"

>"What is it?"

>"Come look at this!"

>"Fine."

>I walk over, sightseeing on my short walk over. I notice the women's sportswear section and decide we'll be going through there before we leave.

>"Anon I really like this one!" She squeaks, holding a plain olive parka

>"It's on sale for pretty cheap. Do you want it?"

>Her eyes light up

>"You'd really buy it for me?"

>"Well I told you we were going clothes shopping didn't we?"

>She squeals and flings herself at me, wrapping her arms around mine, pinning them to my sides

>You'rethebestyou'rethebestyou'rethebest

>An older woman looks at us from the next isle over, tapping her husband and motioning in our direction

>He smiles, loudly saying "They're just like us when we were young!" and plants a kiss on her forehead. She lightly backhands him in the stomach, causing him to laugh before they continue o

>"Alright V... you can let go now. People are starting to stare" I say with a slight laugh

>"Fine..." she says, blushing but definitely frustrated.

>"Anon, now that we've got something, are we going to go?"

>"Nah. I'm buying you way more than this."

>She hugs me again, and the old man from the next isle over laughs once more.

>"Just like us."


>"Lead the way."

>We make our way through the maze of racks, occasionally stopping for her to look at yet more clothes.

>Soon we make it to the dressing rooms, and are greeted by a rather unenthusiastic looking teenager, her face buried in her phone. 

>"Room one. On the left and around the corner" she says dryly, her eyes never leaving the screen.

>Viktoria looks at me and makes a sly "come here" motion with her finger.

>Don't have to tell me twice.

>We make our way around the corner, stopping in front of the room all the way on the end.

>I set the load of clothes down, and hand her the few that I thought would fit.

>She grabs a few other items and heads inside

>I immediately sit down on the bench opposite the dressing room, watching her feet dancing around in the small gap between the door and the floor.

>I hear her fumble with her belt and her pants hit the floor, her tail swaying down by her knees. She hooks her pants with her heel and lifts them up, plucking them off and setting them aside.

>She appears to stop moving before I hear her hair ruffle, and her shirt falls beside her.

>She picks up one of the sports bras, attempting to put it on. It must not have fit, because it quickly ends up on the ground.

>She reaches for another bra, and she seems to struggle getting it on, grunting several times

>Judging by the sound of it, it's too small. She begins cursing and grunting again, trying to get it off.

>Suddenly there's a pause.

>"Anoooon"

>"You alright?"

>"I uh...I'm kinda stuck. Can you please help me? The door's not locked or anything."

>"Yeah, sure." I say, pushing it open

>There she stood in her plain black lace panties, with her arms hopelessly stuck in the bra at bizzare angles. Her expression was almost like that of a hopelessly stuck puppy.

>"Alright, let's get this thing off."

>Surprisingly it comes off in one swift pull.

>In a flash her arms entrap me, her bare chest pressed against mine.

>"You've been keeping me waiting far too long Anon" She whispers, her voice suddenly dripping with sex. You're my owner. I need you to treat me as such. And now that you're here..."

>She plants a hot kiss on my mouth and forces her tongue inside

>She grabs my hand, guiding it to her chest before pulling away for a moment

>"Please don't be afraid to touch me anon."

>"Ahhh this is so wrong" I think to myself

>I oblige, fondling her firm breasts as our tongues begin to dance

>Soon she's fumbling with my belt, her intent obvious. I help, lifting up and sliding my pants off, leaving me in my grey boxer briefs

>Pulling her mouth from mine and her drenched panties to the side, she reveals the fringes of her...magwell, as well as her well groomed dusty blonde bush

>She sits on my thigh, my leg between hers, before her tongue meets mine once again. 

>She begins to grind on my leg, smearing her lubricant all over me.

>Acting on instinct, my hands move down her body. One on her hip, the other on the small of her back, forcing her down harder onto my leg

>She lowers her head against my chest, panting. Her hips grind faster.

>After what feels like mere moments, she's starting to sweat. Her breaths quickly becoming ragged and erratic, her face a deep shade of red.

>Suddenly her legs tense around mine. Her head rears as she lets out a silent moan. She quietly whimpers, her stomach and leg muscles contracting for just a very few seconds before she relaxes, her legs still quivering.

>"That was...nice." She pants, completely out of breath. I think that's enough for today."

>As she looks down, she notices a small dark grey spot on my boxer briefs

>Reaching down, she touches it, examining how sticky the fabric had become

>She smiles, shaking her head mockingly. "You're such a pervert Anon."


>She dismounts from my leg, strings of lubricants stretched in the air. 

>She sits down next to me, slowly regaining her breath.

>"What the hell just happened"

>"That was me just getting a bit carried away. You enjoy yourself?" She asks, putting her hand on my sticky thigh

>"Yeah, it was pretty fun"

>She amusedly begins to play with the lubricant on my leg, wiping it up and spreading her fingers, creating small ribbons of it between them

>"Wow, I really made a mess on you didn't I?" She says with a laugh

>I lean my head back with a sigh. "What the hell am I going to do with you?"

>She reaches her hand between her legs, mopping up yet more of her fresh lubricant

>"Close your eyes and face me." She says commandingly

>I oblige and quickly feel her fingers poking at my lips

>Offering no resistance I open my mouth, allowing them in. Suddenly I'm greeted my a musky, oily taste.

>Just as I start to experience a banana-y aftertaste, she kisses me deeply, forcefully. Almost as if she were trying to taste the faintest hint of herself on my lips.

>She pulls away, a huge smile on her face. 

>"So Anon, can you help me try these on?"

>"Yeah, sure thing" I say with a chuckle.


>After several minutes of her trying different ones one and teasing in between, we find one in her size. I make note of it, and we both start to get dressed. 

>As I step out, she stops herself. "Wait! I forgot to try these on!" She exclaims, grabbing the pair of panties she had selected earlier. 

>"Wanna come in and help me get them on?" She says teasingly while stretching them between her thumbs and waving them in front of her face

>"I'll pass. We still have a few stops to make and we can't afford to keep getting caught up."

>"You're no fun." She whines, tilting her head down and looking up at me with pouty eyes.

>She turns around, and goes back into the room.

>"These are cuuuute! Anon give me your phone!"

>"Oh for fuck's sake." I grumble, grabbing my phone and passing it under the door.

>She spends the next nothing but giggling before getting dressed once again. She steps out, handing me my phone with a stupid grin.

>I check it, noticing the background has been changed to a rather risque picture of her.

>"There's others in case you liked it. Come on." She says, motioning for me to follow her.

>This fucking rifle I swear.


>Slinging her stuff over my shoulder and following her out of the dressing area, we're greeted by the teenager behind the counter who appears to have just shooed off some lardass in a Hatsune Miku tee.

>"Oh boy she looks absolutely delighted to see us."

>"Really? She doesn't look happy."

>"That was sarcasm, V."

>"Riiiight..."

>The teen pipes up. "Next time you two feel like 'experimenting', get a hotel room, not one of my dressing rooms."

>"Yeah, sorry. Won't happen again."

>"Whatever."

>"V, go get more in your size. I'll hold our place in line."

>"Gotcha." She says with a grin. She does the stupid finger gun thing at me and In a flash she's scampering back to the rack to retrieve more.

>What a fucking spaz.

>Suddenly I feel a pat on my arm. Turning, I see the old man from before, his wife watching from some distance behind them.

>"Did that lady up there say you two were fooling around in the dressing room?"He says, his face furrowed in disbelief but his voice full of amusement.

>"Yeah, though I didn't have much of a say in it..." I say, rubbing my neck awkwardly

>He slaps his knee and lets out a dry laugh. "You dog! Heh. Well congratulations son. Yall two have a good one." He says before turning to his wife

>"Hey Sharon! They really are just like us!"

>"Richard! You stop that!" She yells frustratedly. 

>He throws his arm around her and turns his head around back to me, raising his arm and waving. "Y'all take care!"

>Ah man, old people are great.

>Hearing heavy breathing I look back to my right. She's holding an easy dozen sports bras and is once again sporting her signature stupid smile.

>"You think you've got enough?"

>"Yeah, I think this'll do."

>After a few minutes in line we've barely moved.

>Looking over I see the guy in the miku shirt exiting the changing room. Soon he waddles behind us in line, his mouth agape at the sight of Viktoria. 

>What a fucking weirdo.

>Refusing to let him near her, I gently push her ahead of me.

>He reaches for his phone in the pocket of his cargo pants, raising it to take a picture of her.

>I quickly sidestep, blocking the shot.

>He steps to the side, trying to take another, forcing me to step in front of him again.

>Yeah, now I'm getting pissed.

>The third time he raises it, I turn and grab him by the arm before taking his phone and raising it out of his reach. 

>I bend over, putting my face in front of his. "Alright fuckhead, listen up. You try to take another picture of her and I'll break your arm and keep your phone. Understand?"

>"Just wait till I get my friend here! He'll kick your ass!" He shrieks

>"I'll be looking forward to it. Now fuck off."

>He grunts and waddles away, staking out behind a nearby rack.

>Viktoria looks at me, her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle laughter.

>"Can you believe that guy?"

>"Aww, you're so protective of me~"

>"Yeah, I mean you are my rifle and all."

>"It's cute!"

>"Tell you what, the line's pretty slow. Wanna go look around some more while I hold down the fort?"

>"Yeah, sure!" She says, darting away in an instant

>After a few minutes in line we've barely moved.

>Looking over I see the guy in the miku shirt exiting the changing room. Soon he waddles behind us in line, his mouth agape at the sight of Viktoria. 

>What a fucking weirdo.

>Refusing to let him near her, I gently push her ahead of me.

>He reaches for his phone in the pocket of his cargo pants, raising it to take a picture of her.

>I quickly sidestep, blocking the shot.

>He steps to the side, trying to take another, forcing me to step in front of him again.

>Yeah, now I'm getting pissed.

>The third time he raises it, I turn and grab him by the arm before taking his phone and raising it out of his reach. 

>I bend over, putting my face in front of his. "Alright fuckhead, listen up. You try to take another picture of her and I'll break your arm and keep your phone. Understand?"

>"Just wait till I get my friend here! He'll kick your ass!" He shrieks

>"I'll be looking forward to it. Now fuck off."

>He grunts and waddles away, staking out behind a nearby rack.

>Viktoria looks at me, her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle laughter.

>"Can you believe that guy?"

>"Aww, you're so protective of me~"

>"Yeah, I mean you are my rifle and all."

>"It's cute!"

>"Tell you what, the line's pretty slow. Wanna go look around some more while I hold down the fort?"

>"Yeah, sure!" She says, darting away in an instant


>Soon she creeps off, and the weeb isn't too far behind. I keep a healthy distance behind him as he ungracefully moves between clothing racks, further towards the unpopulated back of the store.

>She moves into a clearing and watch as he pounces, definitely trying to make a move.

>He's being forceful and grabbing at her chest, and she's offering no resistance.

>For an instant, she looks over and catches a glimpse of me, and she smiles.

>Almost instantaneously he catches a knee to the crotch. Before he can yell out, she somehow manages to get an arm around his neck.

>She brings him to the ground, choking him to the brink of unconsciousness.

>She stands up, placing her foot on his neck

>"I thought my master warned you about pursuing me? Did you not take him seriously?" A tinge of an accent coming through

>He can't seem to get out more than a pained moan

>She looks at him, before reaching down and plucking his phone from his pocket.

>"You see this? This is mine now."

>Looking down she notices a wet mark beginning to show on his pants.

>"Uh...Anon. Did he just piss?

>It's all I can do to not break down into hysterical laughter.

>"V, that's not piss. I think he just uh...you know.

>"HE WHAT?! MY GOD THAT IS VILE! EWEWEWEWEW! EW!" She rants before kicking him violently in the stomach, eliciting a grunt from him. "You disgusting man!" Her accent becoming more evident as she gets angrier

>"Hey V, let's get out of here." I say with a smirk

>"Yes... perhaps it is for the best" she says, obviously still frustrated.

>Walking back to the front, I grab our things.

>She runs ahead of me, waiting at the door.

>"Hey V! What's in your back pocket?"

>My question catches her off guard. She reaches into her pocket, pulling out the long lost beanie.

>"I think I found the hat."

>"Good. Let's get going then."

>She fumbles with it for a second before getting it on, her ears making triangular indentations in it.

>She trails after me, humming what I can only assume to be some cheesy Yugoslavian war song.

>"Alright, we need to get you something to wear to the funeral. A dress would be appropriate."

>"Ugh. A dress? Really?"

>"Is that an issue?"

>"No...they just get breezy is all."

>We pass by a belk and I turn to face her.

>Grumbling, I reach into my rear pocket and pull out my wallet. "Alright, I'll wait out here. Tell that lady at the counter that you need a dress for a funeral. Here's my credit card." I say, handing it to her.

>"You're not coming with me?" She says with a distressed tone

>"Nope. I wanna see how you do on your own. Plus I gotta hold onto all this other stuff."

>"Okaaay. I'll be back soon." She says before walking off into the store

>She walks up to the counter and talks to the lady for a brief moment. She turs and waves back at me before following the lady out of view. Before long, she's back at the counter with a swath of black fabric. 

>She checks out and runs back to me

>"Anon I got one! It looks good too!" She cheers.

>"Good job. Now we've only got a few more stops to make."

>We once again set off, heading in the general direction of the food court.

>Just as we're about to get there, there's a tugging on my sleeve.

>"Anon! Anon! Weren't you talking about this place?"

>"Oh yeah, right." I say, my stomach grumbling.

>"Well, do you know what you want to buy?"

>"Not really, but I think I'll know when I see it." She says gleefully

>"Well, you still have my card. Go in there and buy whatever you like. Most of what we've gotten so far has been on sale so there's a lot of money left over. Go buy whatever you like. Spoil yourself, okay?"

>"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" She squeals

>She wraps her arms around me and runs into the lingerie-themed wonderland.

>Psh. Women.

>I walk over to a chair, sit down, look dead ahead, and start to play the waiting game.

>One eternity later, I feel two hands come over my shoulders, coming to rest over my pectorals.

>"I'm baaack~" she whispers into my ear

>"Oh thank fucking christ" I think to myself

>Still looking ahead I say "Well, are you ready to get some food?"

>"I thought you'd never ask."

>"Well it's settled then." I say with a grunt as I stand up

>"Is a burger alright with you?"

>"Sounds good to me!"

>I lean down, picking up the bags of clothes

>"So what did you get this time?"

>"Oh believe me, you'll see" she says with a wink

>"You really need to stop trying to tease me, you know."

>"Nah. It's fun."

>"Aww, you're so mean" I say with a laugh.

>"You know you love it though~"

>"Yeah..."

>Soon we're in the food court, and we walk to the Five Guys.

>The line is short so I make it to the front pretty quickly.

>V, on the other hand, is busy gnawing on a handful of peanuts.

>"Hey loser! Whaddya want?" I yell

>"I don't know!"

>"So get up here!"

>She mumbles something and tosses the last of the peanuts down before walking up beside me.

>She scans the menu briefly before piping up. "Jalapenos, ketchup, cheese, and onions."

>"You like spicy stuff, eh?"

>"Hell yeah I do!" She says proudly

>The man behind the register confirms our order, and says he'll bring it out to us, prompting us to sit.

>As we walk over, my phone buzzes. I click the power button, turning on the screen.

>The new background catches me by surprise, making me take care to keep any potential onlookers from seeing it.

>There's a UPS tracking notification, saying that my package has been delivered.

>I look up at her, briefly gazing into her light blue eyes

>She looks back at me, cocking her head and smiling quizically

>Oh man, she's gonna be so happy.

>"Is something the matter Anon?"

>"Nah. Everything's great. Looks like we have a surprise waiting on you once we get home."

>"Is it...no...it can't be. Is it the bullets?"

>"Even if it was I wouldn't tell you." I say with a grin

>"I'm gonna hit you..." she says, posturing herself to appear bigger than me

>"Tell me!" She snaps, beginning to crawl over the table

>I stand up, leaning over the table, my face barely an inch from hers

>"I'm gonna kick you in the dick if you don't tell me!"

>I break into a grin and kiss her on the forehead, catching her completely off guard.

>"Y-you can't just kiss me and expect me to calm down!" She says as I ease back into the chair

>"Yes I can."

>She plops back down into her chair and folds her arms. "You're no fun" she says with a pout.

>A man with a tray materializes to my right. He sets it down, telling us to enjoy our meal before walking away.

>She reaches immediately for her burger as I check my phone again.

>There's a sound of tearing paper and violent gnashing, followed by heavy breathing.

>When I look up, she's looking me dead in the eyes, cheeks stuffed with food. Crumbs and condiments adorning her mouth.

>"Jesus. Did you just inhale the whole fucking burger?"

>She nods rapidly

>"For god's sa-...whatever. Just try not to choke.

>She chews a few times and uncomfortably swallows it before perking up

>"That was good!"

>"That was fucking terrifying."

>"What? I've hardly eaten since I was in the balkans."

>"Fair enough. You think that'll be enough food?"

>"For now~"

>In just a few minutes I'm done with my burger and she's made short work of both of our fries.

>"You ready to go?"

>"Yeah yeah yeah. Let's get out of here." She says, grabbing her smaller bag of goodies and leaving me to the rest.

>"So is that it Anon?"

>"Yeah, I think. Wait...didn't you mention something about wanting to go to Sears?"

>"Oh yes! Let's go!" She says before bolting ahead of me

>I will never understand where her energy comes from.

>By the time I make it past the entrance of the store she's already waiting at the register, box in hand. 

>"What took you so long?"

>"I'm kinda carrying all of your shit."

>"Riiiight." She says with a wince.

>The man at the register continues his work, ripping a receipt off the roll and handing it to her.

>She turns to me smiling. "I got it! Come on! Let's go!"

>"Alright. Let's get out of here."

>I begin to follow her out, watching her hips sway to and fro

>"So what did you get back there?"

>"Oh, it's one of those removable shower heads. For uh...cleaning."

>"Uh huh. Yeah, sure."

>"Don't judge."

>"I'm totally judging."

>She punches me in the arm. "You could have prevented this you know."

>"Yeah yeah yeah."

>Soon we're in the car and heading back home.


>I grab her shit from the car, carrying it in all in one run

>"What took you so long?" She says, flinging her beanie at me

>I carry the pile of stuff to the couch, looming over her.

>"Don't you dare." She says as the first of the clothes cascade down on her

>She doesn't fight it, and soon she's buried in clothes. "Fuuuuck you." She says in a rather blunt manner

>"Not enjoying yourself?"

>"Nah. Least it's warm."

>"Go in the bedroom and try some of these things on. I'd like to see how you look."

>She perks up and is once again sporting her signature grin. Admittedly she looks quite odd with only her head poking out of the pile of clothes.

>Like a zombie from an old horror film she erupts from her tomb of clothes, hurriedly choosing some things to put on before running to the bedroom

>After a minute or so, she comes out in a dress. Plain black, form fitting, just above knee length. It does a wonderful job showing off her various curves.

>"Y-you uh...you look great." I say with a stutter

>"Why are you talking like a retard all the sudden?"

>"Hey fuck you. I just didn't expect my rifle to look so good in a dress."

>"You really think so?"

>"Yeah, of course."

>"Are you reeeeally sure~?"

>"I already answered this."

>"Awww. Do you promise?"

>"...yes."

>"Well in that case I'll be right back."

>I decide to flip on the stereo to help pass the time. Depeche mode? Hell yeah.

>Personal Jesus is always a good one.

>After just a few minutes, she once again makes her way through the door, this time what she's wearing leaves little to the imagination.

>She's wearing a pair of black lace panties and a matching lace bra. The bra is somewhat sheer, two pink circles clearly visible through the fabric. The tattoo on her breast barely poking out of the cup.

>Her hands move to her hips and she cocks her head to the side

>"So whaddya think? Is it cute enough for ya?" She says with a grin and a slight blush

>"For me?" I think to myself. "Why is she doing this all for me?"

>Yeah. You're uh...you're really cute." I say, slightly averting my gaze.

>"Why is she doing this? Can a human and a geist even...do it? It feels so strange to be looking at another woman so soon...but she's a rifle? God this doesn't make any sense..." I think to myself

>Suddenly a touch snaps me back to reality.

>"Anoooon. Don't you like what you see?" Her words slip out almost as if she had been hurt by my lack of lust for her, her hand now holding mine

>"I belong to you. Why are you so hesitant to use me?" She says as she drops to her knees, moving my hand to her breast

>Despite her warmth, I recoil as if she were made of ice

>Anon...what's wrong?" She coos, clearly concerned.

>"It's just...her. I'm burying someone who I thought I would spend my life with tomorrow, and I already have another woman standing practically naked in front of me. It just feels like everything is happening so soon. It doesn't feel fair to her..."

>"Anon...I'm so sorry. I can stop if you'd like. I understand."

>She backs off a bit. She reaches her hand out to me, but quickly draws it back before she makes contact

>My throat is burning and it's all I can do to speak. "Please...just please don't leave me."

>The airy opening chorus of a familiar song begins, followed by the thumping bass and a strong electronic beat

Words like violence- break the silence...

>She forces a faint smile. "I always loved this song you know." 

>She sits down beside me, pulling me into her embrace as the music progresses. "I could never leave you Anon. You are mine and I am yours. Forever." Her words punctuated by the lyrics

All I ever wanted, all I ever needed was here, In my arms.
Words are very unnecessary. They can only do harm.

>I try to speak but she shushes me.

>"Listen to him Anon. No words." She says gently. "Let us enjoy the silence."

>After what feels like only seconds, the song ends. We are left in silence as the playlist resets. Just the two of us. There are no words to be spoken. The only sounds to be heard are that of our breaths as I slowly relax into her.

>"I love you Anon."

>"...I love you too."

>After a few hours of lying there she pipes up

>"Anon. It's late. Would you like to go to bed?"

>"Yeah...I guess. Would you like to come with me?"

>"Of course" she says with a weak smile

>I sit up, allowing her to move. She stands, waiting on me to get up myself.

>I stand and follow her to the bedroom. She motions towards the bed, and I undress, pulling off my shirt and dropping my pants.

>She turns off the light and begins undressing as well as, unclasping her bra and allowing it to drop to the floor.

>I lay down and look up at her, the silhouette of her form gracefully moving towards me.

>I slip under the covers and raise them, inviting her into the bed with me

>She silently crawls in and immediately pulls herself against my chest.

>"Face the other way" she says, her breath warm on me

>I oblige, shuffling around before turning on my side

>She wraps her arms around me and pulls me close, her breasts flattening against my back. Two soft beads dig into me.

>With her head buried in my neck and our legs intertwined, we both fall fast asleep.

>I'm awoken by the ever-incessant beeping of my alarm clock.

>Man...I'm really not looking forward to today. 

>I pound the beeping little bastard, desperate to make it turn off. I only succeed in knocking it off the table

>"Fucking bullshit clock I swear to god I'm gonna shoot you"

>I chuck my wallet at, finally hitting the button to turn it off

>"Thank fucking christ" I say, easing back into my spot

>Next to me she lays still asleep, sprawled out ungracefully on her back with a trickle of drool running out the side of her mouth

>"Yo V. Wake the fuck up." I say, poking her in the side

>She flinches a bit, but still remains asleep

>"Wake. Up."

>I start shaking her and she mumbles in protest

>"Don't make me do this V."

>"F-...five more minutes."

>"Nope. You gotta get up."

>"Fuuuuck off" she grumbles

>"You asked for it."

>I stand up and move to the foot of the bed

>"You have to the count of three."

>"Gooo away"

>"One."

>"nooo"

>I grab the sheets

>"Two."

>"nooooooo"

>"Three."

>[Angry incoherent mumbling]

>I jerk the sheets down and off the bed, exposing her completely to the cold air

>She squeals and contracts into a ball, instinctively covering her handguards and magwell

>"WHAT THE FUCK."

>"Don't get mad at me dude. I warned you."

>She curls up tighter, obviously freezing

>"You alright?"

>"No I'm cold you dick!"

>"Aaand now I feel like a prick." I think to myself

>"You want the covers back?"

>"IS THE SKY BLUE?"

>"Fuck, fine. Geez."

>I toss the covers back up to her and she hurriedly scampers completely back under them, head and all

>"Ah fuck it." I say, lifting the covers and crawling back into bed

>After laying there for a minute or so, there's a voice from below the covers. "Wanna cuddle?"

>"Actually yes."

>She immediately slides up the length of my body and latches onto me, burying her head in my chest

>"I love you Anon." She says tenderly

>"I-I love you too."

>She settles herself on my leg once again, and the feeling of her neatly trimmed bush against me begins to push me into a different mindset

>After a few minutes of laying there, she begins lightly grinding against me, forcing her hips down and slowly moving up and down my leg. I feel the folds of her magwell flipping side to side as she rides

>Oh god please not this again

>"You're such a dick" she coos lovingly

>"Heh. Yeah..." I say awkwardly.

>"Speaking of which...what's this?" She says, sliding her hand down my stomach to my crotch

>Oh please not this again

>"Uh...V? Let's not do this right now"

>"Oh come on. At least let me see what you're packing." She says with her devious little grin

>She slides her hand down to my crotch and begins to slowly massage me through my underwear

>"Come on Anon...I need you to get nice and big for me." She coos

>"Oh god... do I just go with it?" I think to myself. "Not before the funeral. This isn't right..."

>I try to sit up. "V, I can't do thi-URK" She roughly forces me back against the bed by the throat and hovers over me

>"You've been neglecting me Anon." She says as she traces her finger down my chest. "Perhaps if you let me have my fun earlier I wouldn't have to do this~"

>She slips her hand down the front of my underwear and immediately wraps her hand around the base of my shaft and runs her thumb down its length.

>"Ohoho...that's pretty thick~" she says with a smug little laugh before releasing her grasp

>She throws back the covers, allowing herself some room to move. "Now stay still." She says, crawling to the end of the bed, her tail flicking excitedly

>She hovers over my hips and begins to slide my underwear down. "Mmmm...what do we have here?" She purrs as she grabs hold of my member

===================================

>"Oh wow. Anon...you better not hurt me with this~ You know my magwell is quite shallow." she says, stifling a giggle

>She holds it at the base of the shaft and amusedly plays with it, wiggling it slightly before reaching her hand between her own legs.

>She begins to slowly massage my glans while she toys with herself. "Are you enjoying yourself Anon? I hope I'm doing a good job..." she says before placing a wet sloppy kiss on the tip.

>She giggles again as her handiwork elicits a groan from me. "Anon. Open your mouth." she says as she pulls her hands from between her legs. Slowly she climbs up my body.

>I crack my mouth and she immediately places two moist fingers inside, probing around with them. "Good, right?" She says with a smirk

>I prop up on my elbow as she backs off. "Yeah, you uh...you taste nice?" I say with a slightly worried chuckle.

>She looks at me like I'm an idiot and laughs, rolling her eyes as if to punctuate it. "Just shut up and lay down."

>I oblige and the blink of an eye she's straddling me. She uses herself to press my now rock solid member against my stomach. Forcing against it she begins to stroke it with her magwell. 

>I squirm a bit, halfheartedly trying to escape from her

>"Come on Anon." She says, lightly panting "There's...hah...no use fighting it". 

>She continues grinding on me harder and faster, leaving my groin practically soaked in her lubricant as well as some fluids of my own

>She suddenly gulps for air and her thighs are forced together, as if they were immediately bound by some unseen force. She collapses on top of me, lightly quivering and completely red in the face

>After what feels like an eternity, she lifts off of me, allowing my member to spring up once again. I watch as she hovers over it, arches her back and slowly presses herself against it with a shiver.

>Before the head could make it past the initial pressure, she abruptly stops. "Actually...I think that's enough." She says with a pout. 

>"Wait, is that it? It didnt even go in!" I exclaim, mildly shocked by the sudden stop

>She hunches over and furrows her brow slightly. "I know... but I saw what I wanted. Plus I managed to get off."

>"So that's all you wanted to do?" I say with a light grimace as she slides forward, pinning it back against my stomach

>"No...this was just foreplay. And I did want more...just our schedule wouldn't give me enough time to properly clean out my chamber afterwards." She says, climbing off of me.

>"So I guess it's time to get cleaned up then?" I say, a hint of disappointment in my voice.

>"Yes. But but you're showering with me. Now come on." She says, motioning for me to follow her with her pointer finger before strutting off to the bathroom, her hips and tail swaying side to side.

>She rounds the corner and I hear the water turn on, but she doesn't close the door

>Welp. Looks like she was actually serious.

>From inside the bathroom she yells "HEY FAGGOT GET IN HERE"

>"HEY FUCK YOU I'M COMING"

>I scurry out of bed and make my way into the bathroom where she's leaning over, testing the water temperature.

>Despite it being a relatively inexpensive home, the shower is beautifully done. It's a large walk-in one, big enough to fit four people, and it's entirely made from black granite. The dials are made of stainless steel, and it features a large shower head, now with an additional removable head. A single recessed light rests in the center of the ceiling, glowing faintly 

>She turns her head to me. "About time you came in." She laughs. "Nearly started to rust you kept me waiting so long."

>I walk over and feel the water. It's warm, but not too hot. I turn to her and ruffle her hair. "Come on, get in. The water's fine."

>She steps in, easing herself under the fountain of water

>I watch from the edge of the shower as she lightly runs her hands across herself. Her scars take on a new sort of beauty as the beads of water slide over them

>Walking over to her, I wrap my hands around her waist. She flinches in surprise but quickly begins to melt into me.

>Several minutes pass as we stand there, relishing in each others embrace

>She begins to fidget slightly. "Hey...we need to finish getting cleaned up."

>"Fine, fine." I say, reaching for the shampoo

>"Come on. Get over here."

>I pull out a stool and motion towards it.

>She takes the hint and places herself on it, her tail flicking around happily as the water cascades over her

>I flip the shampoo bottle over, squirting a healthy amount of the blue goo into my palm

>Satisfied, I allow my hand to fall onto her head with a splat before massaging the shampoo into her scalp

>Before long, her hair has turned into a massive ball of foam, and I grab the shower head. As I rinse her hair off, ruffling it around as I go, she speaks.

>"Anon?"

>"Yeah?"

>"This is nice. Can we do it again soon?" She says with a cheesy grin

>"Oh come on. You know I can't say no to that smile."

>She turns back away from me as I finish with her hair. "Thank you Anon. For everything."

>"Ah hell. Don't mention it. You're mine, so taking care of you is kinda like my job, ya know?"

>She giggles, "So I must be quite the handful"

>I can't help but laugh "Nah. You just eat a lot."

>"I wouldn't eat so much if you'd buy me bullets you know"

>"You uh...you know there's like a thousand rounds and a dozen magazines for you in the living room, right?" I say with a smirk

>She looks at me in disbelief "...seriously?"

>"Yep. A thousand rounds of Ukrainian FMJ, five thirty rounders, five 40's, a drum, and a little five rounder they threw in for free."

>"Anon..."

>"Yes?"

>"For this...I think you earned yourself a broken pelvis."

>"Jesus Christ why would you...OH. Oh god. Let's uh... let's try to avoid the pelvis smashing, if we can, okay?"

>"That's not up for discussion" she says smugly

>Suddenly she looks up, horrified

>The once warm water that was cascading over her moments before turns to ice

>She shrieks as she darts up and runs out of the shower before a large *THUD* is heard, followed by a pained cry

>Without missing a beat, I make my way out of the shower to help her, only to find her lying on the ground, holding her face and quivering on the ground

>Oh no. This isn't good.

>"Hey, are you alright? What did you hit?"

>"I hit...my fucking eye" she says raggedly

>"Can you move your hand and let me see?"

>She slowly moves her hand and looks up at me

>This is...bad.

>Her left eye is glassed over, almost milky in color. Starting just above her eyebrow, going through it and tracing to her cheek bone is a large scar.

>"I can't...I can't fucking see!" She says, her voice trembling. She bangs her fist on the floor. "God dammit. T-this is all my fault."

>"V. You've got to relax. This was an accident. But before I can help you, I need you to go back to your rifle form, alright?"

>Without saying a word, there's a small flash of light and there's a rifle once again in front of me.

>I gently pick it up, and inspect the sights. Lo and behold, the left side of the front sight was broken off and the piece missing. 

>Thank god this is an easy fix.

>"V, I found the problem. It's not bad. Just we need to get you a new part. You can change back now."

>Once again, there's a flash of light, and in the place of my rifle, there's now a girl. She's clad in a pair of faded BDUs, and she's covering her face...crying.

>For the first time since I've known her, I don't know what to say. I sit down on the floor next to her, and she leans into me. I wrap my arm around her and stroke her hair with the other.

>After a while of this, she finally begins to calm down. "Anon...I'm sorry. I'm broken and it's all my fault. I don't expect you to fix me but-"

>I press my finger against her mouth. "But you're my rifle. I don't know about your old owner, but I want to fix you. Besides, I think I might have an idea."

>"...and that is?"

>"I know a guy who has a lot of AK parts just lying around. Sells em for a living. I think he might have something for you."

>"So when are we going?"

>"Now."

>"But don't we have to be at the funeral?"

>"Well, we have about two hours, and it's not far away. I think we can make a quick stop by. And uh...I think I might have something in mind for after the visitation, since the burial is private."

>Her sorrowful frown suddenly turns to a weak little smile

>"I don't think you're in a naughty mood...so are we going shopping? Or something?"

>"Nah, no shopping."

>"Aww...I liked that Victoria place..."

>"Well can go back sometime later. But today I was thinking of going shooting." I say with a slight grin

>Her ears perk up instantly

>"S-shooting? We're going shooting?"

>"Damn right." I say as I stand up. "I've got a buddy who's letting me borrow his land for the day."

>I thought she would be happy but for some reason she looks panicked

>"Anon this is...It's been...god, since Sarajevo. That's-" She looks down at her hands and frantically counts with her fingers. "Бoг, twenty two years? Twenty two years!"

>"Heh. You're old."

>"Oh screw you. I've been taken care of so it's not like it matters."

>"Yeah, you're fucking welcome for that."

>"You need to be nice to me."

>"I am being nice to you."

>"Nooo you're not~" she says playfully

>"Alright, whatever you say." I groan, punctuating the statement with a lighthearted laugh. "So what do you say we finish getting ready?"

>Suddenly she leans over and latches onto my leg

>"I loooove you" she says with a little giggle as she rubs her head against my leg, grinning ear to ear.

>"I love you too" I say, trying to pull my leg away. "Can you...V can you let me go?"

>"Nooope"

>For fuck's sake.

>Slowly but surely I drag her across the room, and she giggles the whole way. 

>"Okay you really need to get up." I say as I reach the closet.

>The friction from the carpet has messed her clothes up, but judging from the joyful smile she's sporting it would be safe to say that she doesn't seem to mind.

>"Dooon't make me get up" she moans in lighthearted protest

>"Look, we've gotta get changed and I'm not changing your clothes for you."

>She looks up at me like a kid whose devious master plan had just been foiled.

>"You need to be nice to me" she says once again, standing up. "You can't be bothered to help me change? That's just rude of you."

>"I mean, I can help but I'm not doing it for you."

>"Ugh. Whatever. I'm fixing something to drink." She says before strutting out of the room

>"No way she's mad" I think to myself. "No way in hell."


>She comes back a few minutes later, two cups of coffee in hand

>The brew is black as tar, and even has the same relative consistency.

>"Here's your coffee, you dick." She says with a goofy grin

>"Gee, thanks" I say, reaching out and taking the cup from her outreached hand

>I walk over to the bed and sit down on the edge, looking down at me coffee, taking slow sips of the bitter drink, cringing each time as if I were drinking bilge water.

>"The coffee not good?" She asks, a hint of disappointment in her voice

>"No, no. It's fine. I'm just a bit bummed is all."

>"I'm sorry Anon. I know it's tough." She says, setting her coffee down before taking a seat next to me.

>She pulls me into a light hug as I cup the coffee closer to my chest.

>"Look on the bright side. At least you have me! Sure beats being all lonely, right?"

>"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose it does."

>"See? Things aren't so bad then."

>"So what are we gonna do now?"

>"I'm not sure. We just need to finish getting dressed and head out I suppose." I say with a mope

>"Think you could help me with my dress?"

>"Yeah, that's fine."

>"Thanks!" She squeaks before darting out of the room to get the dress from its bag in the den

>"Heh. What a spaz." I mutter under my breath

>Soon there's a bit of grunting, and the occasional limb is seen flailing at some odd angle

>Suddenly there's a thud

>"Hey! Need some help?"

>There's a pause

>"Weeell?"

>She speaks so quietly I can barely hear her. "Please..."

>I hop up, set the coffee on the side table and make my way to the den, only to find a very, VERY sad looking young woman, laying on the ground and hopelessly tangled in her dress.

>I rub the back of my neck. "So uh...how did you fuck this up?"

>"I don't know" she says, turning away and her face reddening

>"Alright, come on. Let's get you out of this."

>I unzip the back of her dress, bringing her arm through the holes. The top begins to slide down, exposing her chest.

>She makes a noise as if she's about to speak and I quickly turn to face her, and see her eyes squinting and her mouth wide open

>"CHOO"

>Aaand she just sneezed in my mouth


>"Eugh. What the hell man"

>"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She yells, waving one hand in front of her and using the other to cover her breasts

>I look up at her and she braces for a hit that would never come. "I'm sorry!" She yells, pleading this time

>"Jesus V. You're fine. Just try to cover your mouth next time, okay?"

>She looks down, depressed. "I said I was sorry..." she mumbles, bringing her hand up to her now scarred eye

>A few minutes go by, and I could swear I saw a tear drip off of her downturned nose

>"V... Are you alright? I didn't mean to hurt you."

>"I'm sorry. Back when I was in service...they were rough. That's all.

>Hey, come on. You know I'm not like that.

>"Old habits I guess" she says sorrowfully, punctuating the statement with a weak laugh 

>"V I...I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

>"You're fine anon. Don't worry about me. Can we finish getting dressed?"

>Without saying a word I make my way to her and begin to straighten her dress. As I pull it back around I notice that there's a rip in the back, near the zipper. 

>"Probably blew it out when she sneezed" I think to myself.

>"Hey uh...do you have anything else to wear? I think I might have accidentally ripped it."

>"Is it bad?"

>"It's pretty fucking bad."

>"Shit. Well I mean I could just wear my BDU's, just they aren't very formal. I can at least change them to black though."

>"No shit?"

>"Yep!" She squeaks. "We can change to blend with our enviroment so we don't pose a danger to our operators."

>"Well I'll be damned. I guess you really do learn something new every day."

>"Want me to change now?"

>I shrug my shoulders. "Good a time as any". My southern accent becoming a bit more prevalent

>She steps aside and begins to undress. Her chest jiggles as she steps out of her dress, and her perky butt quickly comes into view.

>"Not wanting to do that somewhere private?" I say smugly

>"Ehh. It's not like you haven't seen me before. It doesn't bother me."

>She continues, taking off her underwear and stripping completely

>"Wouldn't want to lose these" she says with a laugh while spinning them around on her finger before allowing them to fly off and land on the floor in front of me.

>With a short running start she roughly flops face down onto the couch

>There's a glow of light and in the place she once was now lies my rifle.

>I walk over, picking up the dust cover that seems to have simply popped off.

>I roughly align it with it's notch and jam it down over the button for recoil spring

>I slap it once for good measure and set her down.

>"Now stay right there. I've got something you might like."

>I head off and go to the box of ammo, mags, and assorted parts I've ordered. I pick it up, carrying it to the den, and after setting it down with a thud I reach in, fetching a very nice surplus leather AK sling.

>"Man, I hope she likes this" I mutter to myself before making my way back to her.

>I pick her up and set her in my lap before I begin putting the sling on.

>As I thread it through her assorted sling attachment points as well as itself, I can practically feel my rifle shudder with anticipation.

>"I'm just putting your new sling on. Relax."

>After just a few more seconds, I'm finished and the chestnut colored leather sling dangles freely beneath her.

>I wonder though...

>My lips curl into a mischievous grin

>I shoulder the rifle and place it over my knee. Using my left hand I support it by gripping the reciever just under the magwell. I position my other so my finger is hovering freely over the trigger, almost as if I were about to try my luck at bumpfiring.

>I grin like an idiot and with a burst of speed, I begin jiggling my finger in the trigger well as if I were playing a metal triangle. With this method, I'm pulling the trigger nearly a half dozen times a second

>I keep it up for nearly a minute, until my hand begins to cramp

>It's then that I notice the generous amount of lubricant now coating my hand that was bracing her rifle form just beneath the magwell.

>"Heh. Pervert."

>I lightly toss her back onto the couch. "Hey! You can change back now." I say as I pick up a 40 rounder from the box and begin loading it

>In an instant she's changed back, and I'm greeted my the sound of her gulping for air.

>I chuckle. "You alright?" Turning my head over to her I notice her hair is wild and her now black fatigues are all ruffled up, exposing her midriff. She's giving me a death stare and mouthing something. Her beet red face makes it all that much more entertaining.

>"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

>"I-I..."

>"You what?" I say with a shit eating grin

>"I ha-hate you...SO much." She says as her stomach contracts once again

>"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it."

>"You know it's been fo-unhh...forever since I've seen any action." She begins sitting up taller and leaning forward as she continues. "And then you did so much...so SUDDENLY."

>After a few moments she flings her arms wide and flops back into the couch's embrace, letting out an exaggeratedly loud breath as she does. "Hooo shit. That was...oh wow that was something." With that, she slides even farther down into the couch and throws an arm across her stomach before once again exhaling in satisfaction

>"I could do it again you know."

>She turns her head and looks at me with a weak smirk. "I'd probably die"

>I look down at my still oily hand before turning my head to her. "I'll keep that in mind. Gotta get cleaned up though." I say, waving my hand at her, the slick flashing in the sunlight.

>She amusedly blows a large amount of air out of her nose and covers her mouth as she sees it. "Holy shit is that from me?"

>"Sure is. It got just about everywhere."

>She lets out a grunt as she stands up before walking over to me and dropping to her knees. She grabs my hand by the wrist and carefully examines it.

>She calmly slides my finger into her mouth, caressing it lightly with her tongue before slowly sliding it out, the mixed spit and lubricant forming a drooping string as I pull away.

>She averts her gaze downward as she uses her thumb to wipe the extra lubricant off of her lips before casually sucking the rest off. She looks back up at me and puts on her goofy little grin before she chirps "Yep. That's me!"

>I grimace reflexively before sighing and pinching the bridge of my nose. "Can we just get outta here? We're already running late."

>There's a sudden light pattering of footsteps and by the time I look up, she's already run outside. The glass door now hissing as it closes.


>I pull myself up, grab my keys, throw the box of goodies over my shoulder, and head out after her, not even bothering to lock to the door.

>When I round the corner she's sitting on top of my car, her feet swinging softly and her tail swaying as she hums a little tune

>Her face lights up as I round the corner and I instinctively smile back. "Kept you waiting?"

>She raises an eyebrow. "Huh?"

>I can't help but grin and let out a light laugh. "Nothing. It's nothing." I say, waving my hand

>She crosses her arms over her chest with a cute little pout. "You need to be nice to me."

>"See this box? It's full of all the nice things that I've done for you so far. And this is just the start."

>She grins and rolls her eyes before hopping off the top of the car, her boots clapping as she lands on the pavement.

>I pop the trunk and set the box in, pulling out the nearly full 40 rounder before closing it.

>I walk back around to her, and she's playing on the phone she stole from the creep at the mall.

>"Got into it huh?"

>I apparently catch her off guard and she hurriedly turns the phone away from me. "Y-yeah" she stammers

>"...what were you looking at?"

>Her face starts to redden

>Ha! You've gotta show me now

>"No!"

>"Bad guns get field stripped and left outside" I tease

>Her face goes even redder as she begins to internally panic. Her eyes dart around as she looks for a way out before letting out a sigh. "Fine." She says, defeated. She opens the phone and passes it to me.

>On the screen are various pictures of disassembled AK patterned rifles. 47's, 74's, and even a few exotic ones like the M76 and a Galil.

>I let out a very unattractive laugh and look back up at her. Her face is redder than a Swede in the sahara and she is absolutely fuming. I take a few breaths to calm down a bit before passing it back to her.

>She swipes it from me and stuffs it in her pocket all in one swift motion.

>I walk back to the driver's side and hop in as she flops into the seat beside me

>She immediately crosses her hands over her chest, still blushing

>"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be looking at...gun porn."

>"It's not porn!" She says almost pleading. 

>"So what was it then?"

>She pauses as she searches for the right words.

>"...tasteful nudes."

>"Hey, so if those were AK's wouldn't that be like looking at your sisters or cousins? That's a bit weird." The side of my mouth curls into a smug grin

>She huffs and turns her head to face out the window.

>"We are similar. That's all."

>"Just similar eh?"

>"Similar by design, yes. But if we are not the same type of weapon from the same factory then we are not related."

>"Since we're on the topic, where are you from?"

>"Serbia? Surely you know this?" She says, raising her eyebrow in concern

>"I meant the factory."

>"Oh, right. I am from Kragujevac. Built by Zastava."

>"I'll make sure to remember that then."

>She looks me and smiles tenderly

>"Well I'm glad to hear you're not looking at pictures of your sisters" I say with a laugh, the mood soured in an instant

>She jabs me in the kidney with her elbow and crosses her arms over her chest.

>"I'm not into those things." She says firmly as her face reddens. Despite this, I notice the corner of her mouth curling into a little smile

>A few long minutes pass, and after she finishes jamming out to a song by The Cure, we arrive at our destination. 

>She's the first out of the car and by the time I lock it, she's already holding open the door to to the shop and anxiously motioning for me to hurry up

>I make my way to the door and as I pass her she pushes me into the shop and jumps on my back. Her legs wrap around my stomach and her arms go around my neck, nearly choking me. 

>The owner looks at us with a grin before speaking. "What can I do you for?" He says with a deep southern accent

>"This ol' girl broke herself and needs a new peeper." I say in an exaggeratedly thick accent, much to the owner's amusement.

>"What sort is she? And ya got a budget in mind?"

>"Zastava M72. Let's say 150 for now. We're on a very tight schedule."

>"Yea I figured. Not many people come in here sporting suits. You know what's broken on er'?"

>"Front sight's all busted. She suffered a bit of a fall."

>"It happens. I've got just what you need though." He walks around back, retrieving a brand new front sight assembly, as well as a railed dust cover. She hops off my back in the mean time and begins looking around.

>"Now this here cover ain't pretty, but it'll fix her eye. I've got some dot sights over here too."

>"You know what brand?"

>"Holo-something or another. Buncha new school fancy garbage if you ask me." He says, picking one out of a small box.

>"...so how much is this gonna cost me?"

>"You seem like a fella with good intentions, so I'll cut you a deal." He sits down on his stool with a sigh. "150, and fifteen minutes with the girl."

>I look over to her and she's already red in the face. She gulps before worriedly looking over to me.

>As my fist instinctively balls up, he slaps his knee and bursts into laughter.

>"I'm just givin' ya hell. 150 and it's all yours. Gotta clear these bins out for new stuff!"

>I settle a bit and reach for my wallet. I pull out two fifties, two twenties, and a ten. I reach out, offering it to him. He takes it eagerly before tossing me a bag.

>"Pleasure doin business with ya!"

>She smiles at me and takes the bag from my hand, inspecting the new parts.

>"Care to install these?"

>She steps over and wraps her arms around me. There's a small flash and there's now a rifle in my arms.

>I press the button on the dust cover and lift it off. I take the new one and slide it on effortlessly, securing it with a light smack.

>The optic goes on just as easily, and I power it on, changing the color to green and setting it on low.

>Almost immediately there's the same familiar flash and she once again is cradled in my arms.

>I immediately notice her once bad eye is now a deep shade of emerald green. While rare to see outside of those weird chinese cartoons, her particular case of heterochromia is actually quite beautiful.

>Even though it's just a temporary fix, she's smiling one of the deepest, most genuine smiles I've seen in a long time.

>She wraps her arms around me and nuzzles against my chest as I carry her out. The owner waves at us and lazily goes back to counting and recounting his money