>be me
>be proud dixiefag
>be on photoshop
>tilting that png of me
>thankfully the image is small enough they can't see the hairs on my neck
>adding in the scpia filter
>mmm yeah I look like an authentic southern gentleman
>time to save this picture
>name it "Turning the tides.png"
>Sit back and admire the shopped photo of Gettysburg
>there's a knock at the door
>whos.what
>opens the door
>It's your mom
>"Hi anon, I saw that post you just made" she says
>she gets down on all knees
>all four of them
>her arm knees as well
>"Is there anything I could do for you?"
>My south rises again as I point to my 8cm one eye'd yankee
>She rips open my dungarees and starts slobbing on my bayonet
>seceedsmyunion.south
>She gets a load of powder from my musket all over her face
>She cleans herself up and gets up
>wallet falls from her pocket
>it opens
>See she has a drivers license from Indiana
>The woman before me transforms into the most vial yankee I've ever seen
>Pull out my original 1852 Navy revolver
>Yankee charges me, tries to burn down my Georgia
>Shoot the yankee devil in front of me with all six shots
>she is dead
>Another victory for the south
>Turn back to my computer and open up the Fredricksburg scene from "Gods and Generals", I squirt lotion into my hands
>all four of them
>my feet leg hands to
>I'm actually a monkey
>We're actually all monkeys
>Look out my window and see the statue of liberty buried in the sand
>today was a good day