“What do you mean?”
>You promised me you we’re not going anywhere! And you want me to go away from you? i’ve only ever been lied to once before, and…

Lily is shaking a little. You’re not sure from what. Fear maybe? Hatred? Bad memories? She grabs your collar and forcefully lowers you down yo your eye level. You cant see it, but her knuckles are white from her grip. You are brought three inches from her face. But you’re not close for a kiss. She speaks, and in a voice that wants to sound calm, but is actually raging with a cocktail of very strong emotions

>Do i... have your attention now?
“of course you do, but-”
>Then you are going to listen. And listen very closely

Lily’s voice is cracking up, barely holding back the boiling cauldron of emotions inside her

>If i was away… and you were to be hurt… or killed, i would...
“Stop, please do-”
>n-no, i won’t, you have to understand this. I’ve not been honest with you. You think that machine works because you fixed it or something?
“w-what do you mean?”
>you’re stupid. It’s a Jagdtiger, you find a hundred ways to fix it, and it will find two hundred to break itself
“You’re not making sense”

Lily stumbles for words. She is uncomfortable

>I-if i’m going to tell you this, i’m going to need something from you
“I’m all ears, what do you need?”
>I need commitment, from you. To me

Be it the the stress of being under attack, the ongoing war or the sleep deprivation, how clingy Lily has been, things not working, anything. But you snap

“Commitment? how do you even dare mention my commitment? Did i drag you out of the museum? Did i replace the suspension? Did i fix a new engine? Did i remake the entire interior? Did i hold you for two days as they cut it up with a saw? Have i carried you just because you wanted? Have i fed you? Have i clothed you? Now, i did that with a smile, but if you question my fucking commitment of all things, i’m getting the fuck out"

You did get a bit carried away, and your breath is heavy, somehow. Lily releases the grip she’s had around your collar. She takes two steps back, stumbling. Her legs barely carry her. She is radiating only one single emotion. Fear. No, there was something more now, something building up from inside. Panic. Not that you know it, but she wants to scream. She wants to cry. She wants to run up and hold you. She wants the creatures around her, threatening you to die. She wants to do… anything. But she can’t. She is frozen on the spot, lower lip twitching slightly as she is looking for words. The panic in conquering her, gripping her and carrying her away into the mist. Lily’s eyes turn into bottomless wells, and water is slowly escaping them. But she is not sad or happy. She is afraid that she just took one step to far with the one that was supposed to save her from the machine that she was bound to, that had ruined her. She loses vision, and the periphery turns black. She hits the ground, hard.

About five mintes later, you listen to the awful clicking noise of an empty magazine. Again. The heavy, slab sided magazine clicks out and is placed shoddily in your right leg pocket, where you change it for a fully loaded one, but before you’ve come to the point of getting into the gun itself, you are faced with a class 2 moving towards you. Happily, it’s met with two 7.62 mm projectiles and is sent to the ground

“T-thanks Nat!”

Natalya doesen’t respond, but rather finds something else to shoot at. You rack the magazine in and pull back the charging handle. 30 rounds of fun is loaded. Second to last magazine. With the ballistics of bullets the AK was spitting out, a single round was enough for a class 2. But that was if you had enough time to take calm and precise shots. This is sadly not something that happens if you’re being attacked.

Being in combat, even if you’re not being shot at when conventional weapons, is terrefying. Right now, it is the entire world against the three of you. The clattering of gunfire get like song without rythm. Sometimes it’s silent for a minute, sometimes its an inpenetrable wall of sound you cant even hope to drown with your screaming. The loud booms of the SVT, the clatter of the AK, and the lesser, anappy sounds made by the 9mm guns. Unorganized combat is the ultimate form of chaos. But the time spend at the range with the rifle pays off. The sights align when you want them to, sending the projectiles where you want them to go. You can feel when the magazine is about to run. Not as much the weight of the rifle decreasing, but something in your spine just screaming that you are about to run dry. The second to last magazine is jammed into the face-ish thing of a class 1.

Luckily, while these magazines were supidly heavy, they are redicoulously sturdy, and are surprisingly handy for hand do hand combat against reasonably squishy things. They magazine is pulled eight inches out from its face and returned to your pocked. New magazine, last one. Last chanse. Just as you are ready to get the gun singing, the sound of a machinepistol wakes to life. Enough fight for tonight

“Cars! Right fucking now!”

Natalya is screaming something, and her voice is not drowned out in the sound of her rifle because she is using it as a club/pike combination. If you’d have more time to look, you would have seen she was frighteningly good with it. But you didn’t. Miranda is doing her best, but she is scared and nervous and her hands won’t listen to her. Another failed attempt at reloading the gun. The AK clatters to life again stopping another two of these “subspecies” as Lily would refer them as in their tracks. Miranda is shaking, and not even screaming her gets you her attention. You have to grab her jacket and pull her towards the cars to make her notice you. She is not very comfortable outside her tank.

“Natalya, get in your car right now!”

She might not be the strongest person around, but her slender figure, long legs and light build made her amazingly fast. She dashes away while you are dragging Miranda with you. She has finally managed to load the gun. She is firing, but isn’t aiming for jack shit so its mostly ineffective. The Mercedes roars past bumping away another creature. Grey sits on the passenger seat and putting the MP38 to good use. You throw Miranda back into the car with the shell casings and missiles.

“Drive. i’ll catch up!”

Natalya isn’t one for arguing and leaves in a flurry V8 thunder and gravel flying off the rear wheels. You run run back to the old Volvo, and has to your delight not drawn any attention to itself. You empty the last magazine at the creatures that try to catch up with you. The old gun takes its last breath and is lobbed into the back seat. You mumble a silent for and old Norse god (or anyone who cares to listen) that the car will start. True to its nature, the engine wakes to life quickly and you waste no time getting out of there. Your driving isn’t the best right now, but no one would have faulted you considering the circumstances

You are a good driver, and just a few minutes of full attack later, you catch up to the other car, and slow your pace to match it's. It feels like its silence, despite the gravel hitting the underside of the wheel arches, the humming of the engine and the wind noise. But there is one sound you should, and want to hear, but you just don't; breathing.

Fear comes in two form. One of them comes quickly, like being presented with a pistol a few inches of your forehead.. Not that anyone want to stare into the barrel of a gun, but the other fear is worse. It comes slowly. Creeps up on you, grabs you and does not let you go.

This is what happening to you. It feels not much unlike having someone drilling in your chest. Your hands have started shaking and you're loosing focus. And there isn't anyone in the car you can talk to either. But there is in the other car. You give the car a new gear to chew on, putting the revs to a more bearable level, and reach for the radio. Due to your shaking hands, sleep deprivation, stress and pure fear you drop it twice before getting a firm grip on it and pushing the little button

"Shitbox to Grandpa, come in"
'Go for grandpa'

Grey is on the radio, and she actually sounds somewhat calm

"Just wanna check in with you guys, all okay up front?"

The radio is silent for more time than you are comfortable with before a reply comes

'Cuts and bruises, no problem. You?'
"I'm fine back here"

You knew very well they were not asking about you. Yet somehow, you just couldn't bring up the real issue here. You were too scared. Scared that you had taken things a step to far. You had lost control, snapped. And seeing the way Lily looked before collapsing felt worse than being shot.
Another minute of silence. Natalya's voice breaks it, with the one question you knew was coming

¤ How's Lily, Anon?
Just the mention of her name, and the man drilling into your chest does his best to reach your spine. You look over to the heavily reclined passengers seat. You cant actually see much of her for all blood and bandages. Tears are slowly making their way down your cheeks. You are afraid

"i think we stopped the bleeding, but she's lost a lot of blood"

When Lily fell, hey eyebrow hit the charging handle of the gun, creating a small fountain of blood. Under normal circumstances, this would have been a relatively easy thing to fix, but it was different this time. First of, Lily's heart rate and blood pressure was very high due to the previous argument. None of you were really trained for any sort of medical works, other than these first aid classes. More so, you were being attacked. Just as one was killed, another appeared. You just couldn't tend to Lily until a few minutes later, and by that time she has soaked herself and the gravel she was lying in in blood.

¤ When she wakes up...

Did she pause for effect of for looking up the right words?

¤ There is one thing you must do, It is very important
"I'm listening"
¤ You must be honest. Not to her, but to yourself. That is all. Do you understand?
"Sure, i got it"
¤ Also, drink and chocolate. Over and out

Your shaking hand returns the radio to its mounting. You find yourself not knowing of Lily still is alive or not. You can't hear any breathing. You can't see any any movement on her chest, but that is all due to the light and sound conditions inside the car. This is what you tell yourself at least. Not two minutes ago, Natalya told you not to lie to yourself. Sad truth is, sometimes that is the simplest thing to do.

more times by. The sun rises, and shines directly into your back. Lily hasn't moves for several hours now. But now that it is light enough to see if she is breathing or not, you don't even dare to look. Because if you did, and her chest wasn't moving...

The man with the drill is at it again

Your mind wander off again. What if this was the end of the line? You cased this, not Lily. She was insecure about her feelings, and if they were answered or not. A simple yes, a witty comment or anything would have been enough. But you didn't. And you ended your rambling with telling her you would leave her. And if there was one thing she was afraid of, it was being left alone. Especially not being with you. You might have implied that you were going away, she might have misunderstood you as well, she might-

>A-anon are you there?

Her sudden words kicks you off the train of though, and seemingly sending you into a rock. It's amazing how just a few words that don't really mean anything can have such an effect on someone. Some of the rear is blown away similar to a small car behind a 747 at take off.

"I'm right here Lily, no need to worry"
>I can't see anything...

Right, Lily's face is mostly covered in bandages and while you tried to put some effort into it, you might have covered up her eyes

>I can't see anything, am i bl-
"shhh, it's just band aids. You hit your head when you fell and were bleeding a lot, don't get them off, i don't want more blood on my seats"

Risky to try a joke here. But you extend your arm towards her and grab her hand, just to make sure you're there. She quickly finds it and grabs a hold it with both her hands

>i-i thought you were going to-
"No"

Her grip around your hand tightens

>i thought you we-
"Stop it. I'm not leaving you. I did promise, didn't I?
>b-but you said
"Come on, lets drop it. What about this for he rest of the trip, you lie down and tell me what you wanted to say earlier, and i'll feed you with sweets or something. Or you can sleep if you want to"

She takes a deep breath, as if she wants to say something... heavy?

"Oh, and i almost forgot about the commitment bit. I am. I just thought it was a little strange that you would have to ask"
>so we are together now?
"we've been that for a while"

    >okay. I guess i have to explain now why I've been like i have.
    "I'm listening"
    >So, we don't have much of a personality when we are assigned to the tanks. We are like an empty canvas. And when i was given a Jagdtiger... And while it was immense, with a very powerful gun, It had a lot of issues. And developed some issues as well. Augh, i don't know how to explain this...
    "Don't worry about it, take it at whatever pace you want. We still have a long way to drive"
    >If you leave the vehicle alone, it can't do much. It will just break down. But if it is well taken care of, and can sort of cling onto something, it will be okay
    "Cling on?"
    >Say, a train
    "...okay, a train"
    >Yeah, the train has fuel, oil, ammo and spare parts, and you can part the Jagdpanzer on top and move it around. It sort of takes care of the vehicle
    "alright, still not sure where you are going with this"
    >i can make the Jagdtiger... not break down. at the end of the day, it's just metal all of it. I can feel if someone is a bit rough with the clutch, if someone is going to deep into the mud
    "wait, so you can feel if something is about to break down?"
    >Yes, and... prevent it to some degree
    "i get a feeling you don't mean prevent as such"
    >was i that obvious?
    "no, but i can still do educated guesses"
    >well, for some time, i can make sure the final drive is okay. For a while, But it hurts me instead. And the more this went on, the more it hurt. But i had to fight on. I was the best we had, they told me. Have to make sure the Jagdtiger works. And the crew did nothing. They expected i could take care of it on my own, and i tried. the entire winter i did it. I killed tanks and men alike, kept the vehicle safe, and most importantly, working. But by mid February 1945, my body could not hurt anymore. But despite the pain, i tried to keep it working. But then it got to my head instead... and...

    Her grip around your hand tightens

    >I had turned out to be just as unstable as the machine
>I went insane, i completely lost it. I had a headache for weeks, i heard voices, i couldn't see clearly, things like that

>sometimes i started screaming, sometimes i hid in the ammunition storage and talked to myself for days

"Hey, if you don't want to do this-"
>No, you have to know. You have to know how important you are. The more i started loosing it, the more the crew lost faith in me, the more they saw me as someone they had to drag along. They even found another crewman from a knocked out tank and had him take my spot, so i was forced to sit on top of the it. And then i was only a plaything...
"You don't have to go any further if you don't want to"
>The important thing is what i learned later. Just like the vehicle could be much healthier if it had something to cling on to, so could i
"Me?"
>Yes, you. As long as you are with me, take care of me, hold me, love me... I can keep the big machine working. You don't treat me like my old commander did, or any of the new ones for other tanks. You know they envy me for that?
"Can't say i did, no"
>So, to make a long story into a short one. I'm with you because i will live as long as you love me. If you were to leave, someone else would take over the Jagdtiger and it would tear itself and me apart within 6 months. A-and i want to do other things in life beside killing things, having to be bound to that thing. I want to do so many things, but i cant leave that thing for more than maybe a day or two
"If there is anything i can do to help, i'll do it"
>thing is this, i can get away from the Jagdtiger. But that would mean a lot of very hard work over many years, and it's certainly not a wartime activity. And we have to do it together, all the way
"Sure"
>So you will do this for me?
"No i will not do this FOR you. I will do this WITH you. Because i love you Lily. And if you need someone to carry you through the nine circles hell to make sure you can live a proper life, i have broad shoulders and strong legs"
Lily didn't respond. You might have gotten a little carried away with those words, but they hit her like the royal Navy hit the Italian navy in 1941. She holds your hand tightly. Her breathing remains calm, but she remains silent. Checking that the road ahead is straight you turn your head over to Lily.

"Hey, are you crying?"
>Yes
"...you're not sad, are you?"
>of course i'm not sad. I was just confessed to by the man i love, who also promised me that he would help me get my life back
"well, that makes sense. But the tears are still worrying me a little"
>If i cry when i am not sad or hurt, you have done something very well. Remember that
"Well, if you say so"

There is another few minutes of silence. Not an uncomfortable or awkward one, but one that feels right. It's silent because nothing else has to be said.

¤ Shitbox, do you hear me?

Natalya is on the radio

"Shitbox actual here, i read you"

You didn't really know anything about how you should sound on the radio, or what the official terms and stuff like that works, but you've seen enough movie to get an idea on how it should sound

¤ Is Lily awake yet?
"yeah, she is"
¤ I am listening to a very strange radio transmission. I cannot understand the language, and it is broadcasting on a very low frequency, around 28.5 MHz
>That could be an old German radio. Almost all our tanks had the FuG 5 radio, and it is easily in that range. But the range is only a few kilometers. Can you stop the car?
"We're a bit low on time, but sure"

You inform Natalya about what you are doing and the two car convoy breaks to a stop. you help Lily get her seat upright as Natalya tinkers with the radio a little bit. She is very interested in radios and communication as such, but even she is having issues getting the frequency right

The transmission is very bad, and in German, and after five minutes, you're still not sure if Lily was actually speaking to it or not

>Now, we listen

...

BOOM