Hellcat brakes at the doors, partly to allow me to get scout the forward terrain but also because she almost bulldozed a herd of retreating lolis. The already startled group becomes even more terrified, adorably crawling over each other to get away from the big scary tank destroyer. 
“pwease don’t hurt us!” squeaks one of the loli geists.
I quickly climb over the turret to show myself.
“it’s alright, we’re friendly” I say in as calming a voice as I can manage.
Order is restored to the group as soon as they see my uniform. 
“he’s a guard, like Mister Ivan!” someone in the group calls out. The group start excitedly chattering amongst themselves. I hear “protecc” and “headpats” mentioned quite a few times. It seems Ivan was quite popular with this lot. 
“So where are you guys headed?” I ask to the group.
One of the larger geists, dressed in an ill-fitting Wehrmacht uniform, makes her way to the front of the chattering crowd. The small girl waves her arm in the direction the group came from
“Retreating!”
“vhere are zey?! Find zose little shits!” shouts a voice from some distance away
“get on quick!” I wave for them to get onto Hellcat. The girls try, and fail, to scale the vehicle’s sides. I haul myself over the turret edge and jump down to the floor. I begin boosting the girls up onto the hull. After the last one, a girl wearing an oversized SS coat, I leap onto the hull and shout.
“let’s go!”
Hellcat races off as fast as her drive sprockets will take us. The lolis hold onto anything from hatch handles to each other to prevent themselves from flying off our speeding ride. Once I’m sure we’re safe, I tell Hellcat to stop and I look at our new surroundings. The display cases have been rearranged to be like trenches, with all sorts of eras of weapons present. Machine gun geists crewed by other geists spray their rounds into groups of pickelhaube-wearing figures in the other trenches. Some giests in red coats run around in circles as mortars rain down on them screaming something about sorcery. 
“oi, u there! Wot do u think ur doing with them pistols” a geist marches towards us, waving an accusing finger at us. The pistol geists disembark Hellcat with varying degrees of grace, some jumping, some just rolling off. The lead geist, the girl in the Wehrmacht uniform
“Lifebuoy Flamerthrower from the spy division weporting for duty!” she says as she takes off her  german gear, revealing her british uniform. The other lolis follow suit.
“Jolly good!” the officer claps her hands. “now who’re these two buggers?”
“that would be FOUR buggers!” shout Husaria and Kopia over the gunfire.
“bloody hell” mutters the officer “so what are these FOUR buggers doin’ ‘ere with my spy division?”
“we were just passing by, so we gave them a ride”
“Alrighty then, thanks for the help, but you can clear off now. The mortars’ll make short work of a target the size of you” she glances over her shoulder as a massive explosion sends a crew of british and their 16 pounder gun flying. “bloody hell, that fucking 21cm is at it again! Anyway, goodbye, I’m going to the bunker!” with the spies in tow, the officer races off into the trenches. Hellcat races through obstacle course of trenches, gun emplacements and stray waffengeists. We manage to avoid the worse parts of the battlefield, where the mortars and cannons are doing their best to blow each other apart. Hellcat leaps over a trench, to the panic of the giests below. The doors are just up ahead, guarded by a massive gun emplacement. The 21cm mortar that the officer geist mentioned before is throwing its shells over at the British and thankfully doesn’t notice us. Hellcat pulls in behind the nearest pile of crates and transforms. I gather everyone in front of me as we crouch in our cover. 
“alright, all we have to do is sneak past that big fucking gun, then we’ll finally get to those krautboxes” I whisper.
“that’s a fine plan, but there’s about six of the Szkop over there, they’ll certainly see us!” says Kopia
“we’ll be fine”
I peek over the crate pile. The mortar has moved is in the process of lowering to point directly at us.
“On second thought, did I mention how much I love wursts and Hitler did nothing wrong?” I simile to the germans as I raise my hands. Hellcat and Kopia follow my lead. Husaria however, has other plans. She transforms and leaps over the crates, fists raised, ready to fight. Almost straight away she stands bolt upright, raises her hands and turns back to face us.
“that is a VERY big gun isn’t it?”.
“vhat are you people doing?”
A hundred responses flow through my head. the majority would probably get us shot. You know what? Fuck it.
“we’d like to pass through” I gesture towards the doors.
A moment passes.
Fuck, here comes the-
“oh, Ja, ve’ll just need to check your papers”
We all walk over to the german emplacement. An SS officer appears and takes a seat at a hastily assembled desk. the mortar, having transformed, hovers behind her like a bodyguard. I am cleared with no trouble, but the officer doesn’t seem to know what questions to ask other waffengeists.
“bring on your questions, I’m not afraid” Husaria states boldly
“Vhat is your name?” she asks
“I’m Husaria”
“Vhat is your mission?” 
“I’m just following Anon”
“Vhat is ze capital of Poland?”
“{medieval capital of Poland}”
“Nein! It is berlin! Vat kind of dark age hole have you crawled from?”
“the one next door!”
The Mortar picks up Husaria and throws her through the wall. She still ends up with me though. Kopia’s questioning goes similarly though she answers her questions correctly, so she doesn’t get the throw treatment. Hellcat steps up to the plate
“vhat is your name”
“M18 GMC ‘Hellcat’”
“vhat is your mission”
“to stop everyone fighting all the time”
“vhat is… your favorite colour?”
“uhhh red, no wait-“
“you lie! alle American tanks love that green of thiers!”
The Mortar picks up Hellcat by the back of her collar and throws her through the wall. The german officer waves us goodbye.
“Gute nacht, you’re my sisters’ problem now!” 
A voice erupts from behind us.
“VHAT ARE YOU MAKING ME DO NOW MG34?”
“YOUR JOB, PANZERLAUF”