“-and her name is… Erika!” sings Hans, for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes
>this is wearing down your nerves
“do you know any other marching songs? We aren’t even marching right now”
“it helps me take my mind off of how heavy this fucking rifle is!”
>he hefts the 7 foot long PTRD, arms straining after an hour of holding its weight
“you were the one who wanted to bring it along”
>Hans groans, but accepts his fate
“don’t worry, we’re almost there!” calls Alice, bouncing along a few metres ahead of the group
>her ‘stuff’ that she needed to get before embarking was a white coat and a large hiking pole made of a strange looking metal.  
“I think I can see it” says Henrik as you come to the top of the hill. You can too just a few hundred metres from the base of the hill. Your guide spreads her arms in a ‘ta-da’ fashion.
“Welcome to Strom”
>upon reaching the town you first notice the guards spread around the perimeter.
“Halt, who goes there?”
“We’re adventurers from Axis, taking up the goblin extermination job”
“It’s about time, the bastards have been stealing everything that isn’t nailed down”
>the guard explains where to find the lair and that you need to come back and see the guard captain for the reward. Once he finishes you say your thanks and get on your way. The lair is about ten minutes’ walk into the woods. Eventually your group finds the mouth of the lair’s cave
“arright we is here what now?”
“now” Hans says as reaches for his belt, drawing a stick grenade “ the fun begins”
>with everyone and the ptrd safely behind a nearby rock, hans unscrews the cap and lobs the stick a far as he can into the cave
>a boom is heard along with tens, if not hundreds of inhuman screeches. You ready your mp40, only to have kamikaze screech “TOTSUGEKI!” and sprint, sword raised into the cave.
 “damn it, we need to go after him” Henrik has already started towards the cave
“we can’t shoot in the dark!”
“we can if I do this” hans draws a a stick and yells “light!”
>an orb of radiance appears above hans’ head and he runs into the cave with you and Henrik in tow
The lair is what you’d expect it to be, dark, smell of rotten meat in the airs, shitty furniture, nice pile of treasure in the corner though. And of course the goblins, the little shits are all over the place.
>Kamikaze is slashing them apart left, right and center. Then you three arrive and light the place up with muzzle flash.
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“FUCKING AGAIN!”
>Kamikaze raises his sword quickly and shouts “HEARR”
>the golden light once again fixes your ears.
>As you and hans reload your mp40s you realise that most of them are dead already and let Henrik and kamikaze pick off the final few, this time putting your fingers in your ears to not go deaf from Henrik’s shots
“That was easy!” Hans boasts
“We were kind of cheating though” Henrik mutters
>you walk over to the large pile of treasure
“are you guys done in there yet?” Alice’s voice echoes
“nearly!” you call back, “are we allowed to take this gold and things?”
“sure, go for it!”
>all four of you stuff as much treasure into everywhere you can before returning to the mouth of the cave.
“you all look like you had fun”
“all of their Jew gold is belong to us”
>you begin your march back through the woods, much slower and heavier this time, by the time you are halfway back to Strom the group, apart from Alice, cannot go further
“c’mon guys, you shouldn’t take more than you can carry”
“ALL” Hans wheezes “jew- gold- is – belong- to- us”
“hai, agree with roundeye, gold is ours”
>a roar echoes through the woods, kind of like a bear’s that you saw once in Russia, but deeper and bigger
“what was that”
“Probably a bear”
>Alice sighs, her staff seemingly melting and reforming into a large scythe 
“I’ll go check it out”
>she leaves the group and bounds off into the forest
“what the fuck is that stick?”
“why you arsk me?”
>after about five minutes she comes back, her scythe returning to stick form
“Yup it was a bear, but I killed it, lets go!”
>you get back to Strom, finding your way to the guard’s headquarters
>you enter while the rest of the group waits outside
“you must be Anon”
>a large man waiting a bench stands up, walking over to you
“yeah, that’s me”
“so, did you get all the goblins?”
“yes”
“well, we don’t have much money, on the part of the goblins, so is there anything else we can do for you?”
“actually yes, there is one thing”
>a few moments later you exit the building, Frontier Reich flags appearing on the outside of the building
“okay, its time to get back to Axis”
“gentlemen, it seems the Frontier Reich has gained more influence”
“an’ how would that be, mate”
“they saved the township of Strom from a nearby lair of goblins”
“oh, good, they have already started exterminating again”
“did ya just compare goblins to the Jews?” the American questions the Frenchman
“they have big noses and hoard gold, they’re pretty much the same thing”
“frenchie’s comparisons aside, I think we’d better go an’ check on this lot to make sure they won’t get out of hand”
“and who do you propose will do such a thing”
“I will, I’m sick of just sitting in a room here anyway”
“alone?”
“you wanna come, Frenchie?”
>silence
“didn’t think so”
>the Australian picks up his bowie knife, and walks out the door.