/K/-Day T + 3 hours, 30 minutes The Love’s truck stop, and the last Carl’s Jr. restaurant in Bexar County [As the smoke of the fires to the northwest begin to blanket the sky, 2 people: a woman in a leather jacket, padded racing pants,and a star-spangled bandana; and on the other side of the booth, an elderly man in lime-green robes, and as they enjoy their meals, they discuss what will soon reshape the city that very day] (Now playing: Chasing Yesterday by FM-84 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9YjXvP-q6Y ) “Fair maiden, I KNOW you must have SOME questions?” “Yeah. I do. So you mean to tell me that you, and your employers, have been trying to contact me for basically 20 years, to give me superpowers so I can save your homeland from a pack of evil wizards and their army? What took them so long? What took YOU so long? You keep calling me maiden, but I haven’t been a pure maiden for 14 years, pal! Is this a virgin-power thing? Because as much as I’d like to accept this power, you’ve come to the right person, at a very very bad time! And how are you not dead by now? I really don’t think this ‘Ralzith’ asshole sounds like the kind of guy who’d take 20 years to launch an attack?” “My lady, relax and enjoy your meal. I have answers for all of these questions. We have an artifact, a blessed and powerful set of armor that chooses its owners. It demanded that we search throughout our lands to find a worthy individual for it to meld with. We found none, and then it demanded that we search throughout the bleed-void of reality itself! It took us 2 years to sense your soul, but we could not breach into your world, nor could we summon the strength to summon you to US! We eventually found worthy fighters from other lands near ours, mercenaries that took down Ralzith and his hordes at the near-total cost of their own lives. He is of no importance now, but the armor has only eyes for YOU. And when this melding of realms began, it saw it’s chance had come at last, and as our prisons were damaged, several of that demon-king’s commanders escaped to this place, surely they must be raising literal hell somewhere in this city? Take the armor, it is of no use to us. Take it, and cleanse your homeland of the filth that has crawled it’s way in! It matters not your age, nor your carnal purity, only your soul, your purity of spirit and heart!” “You sure the armor will fit me? Sounds like it was meant for a growing teenager, I’m a woman now? And do you want me to arrest these guys and hand them back to you?” “Of course the armor will fit you, fair lady Sarah. It’s magic can adapt to whatever or whomever it pleases to join. And we would rather you kill them. They were only spared the first time, because the prince and his friends kept them around for favors of a more…. unpleasantly physical nature, if you will. Eliminate them by any means you wish, all we ask is that you ensure that they never return to my kingdom. But if you kill them all, there will be quite a large reward. 130 thousand zinbels for each one dead! Converted to this nation’s currency, that would be almost 2 million ‘dollars’, as you call them.” “So what exactly IS the armor? Who made it, and how do I use it? You brought a manual with you, or will it tell me after I put it on? “The armor is currently just a box. The books we have on its origins, all claim it was made by star-walkers, bard-travelers of the ether. We know from history, that it blasts and harnesses sound waves, from music. Music of what this world perceives as machine-music, much like the kind that was popular when we first tried to summon you.” “You mean like electronica, synthwave, EDM?” “I believe so, but you would probably understand best if you were to put it on.” “As late as you people are, I’ve always felt like I could do something BIG to help make the world a better place. I did then, and still do, volunteer to help the less fortunate. Maybe I COULD do a lot more, by blasting evil jack-offs and whatever other monsters get in my way. You know what? I’m in. How many commanders escaped? “I knew you would come to an agreement! All 5 of them escaped, but the deal we made with the king specifically states that you must kill them yourself to earn the reward, if someone else, or a proxy of you, managed to destroy them, they will receive the reward.” “Even if I get only one of them, 2 million bucks is still 2 million bucks. I could fund construction for a whole school for the financially impaired, and still have enough to live comfy. And I DO love me electronic music. Where’s the armor?” “I left it in the center of the massive road-intersection near here.” “The intersection where 2 highways meet? Loop 410 and Interstate 35?” “I believe that was what the signs said it was. These roads have become ley-lines now. I left the armor there to soak in whatever energy it can take. But I warn you, the writings claim that when the armor is put on, a massive mana disturbance pours out of it into the sky above. Do well to make sure that none of your people’s flying machines get caught in its wake.” “Will my boombox be augmented by it, if it uses music as a weapon? It’s the loud metal music box I have in the container of my ‘steel horse’.” “Most definitely, the royal family still has an empowered harp used by a previous music-master long long ago.” “Well, let’s get going then!” “I am afraid only you can proceed further. If I get too close when you put it on, it may damage my runestone. It is my only way back home, and I’d gamble that my wife and son are already getting worried as we speak. Farewell for now, and good luck to you, Sarah Schroeder! Once this calamity has passed, I will return to pay whomever slays any of the dark mistresses of Klevetcull! I’ve already placed an ample bet on you, do NOT let me down! We’ll be watching via our scrying devices! Let them eat static and smell the ashes!” (A matte limestone is pulled from his left robe-pocket, an orange cloud appears from it, disappearing him, leaving nothing but smoking footprints on the sidewalk where he had just stood) “Well, there’s no time like the present for 10 million dollars, ahahahahahahahahahahaha!” [About 20 minutes later, 1982 feet above that highway intersection] “Oh yeah, baby! Gimme all that magic mojo you got! I got the touch, I got the power, yeah!” (A burst of energy blasts from her boombox across the sky, killing a dragon coming from the north, the rest of it’s pack performs evasive maneuvers, and go to ground.) “And what the hell is that little thing coming over the horizon? Another master-blaster like me? Maybe it’s one of those commanders here to challenge me! They’ve been waiting 20 fucking years for me to show up, Guess I’ll give ‘em the red carpet, and formally welcome them to the US of A! I’ll de-rezz their assholes apart with the power of S Y N T H - E S I Z E R S! The future has arrived, faggots! And that future belongs to ME!” “Oh fuck” “That’s not a person.” “That….. is an atomic missile.” “AND IT’S HEADING RIGHT FOR ME.” “OH GOD I BETTER BLAST IT!” (Another burst of light-blue neon-like energy, this time shaped like a wave, cuts across the noontime clouds, overcoming the missile. The missile is not destroyed, orange streaks of electricity spark out, and surround it. As it passes over the north side of Pearsall Park, it abruptly explodes, at first, with a small ball of white light, shifting between shades of purple, pink, green, red, and then orange. A grand wave of orange energy then ruptures the sky, crashing out in all directions and dimensions, at what 3-dimensional lifeforms would comprehend to look like near-lightspeed, recoloring the sky in it's image. The still-intact ball shifts through different sizes, then morphs into a line, which turns into a thunderbolt, moving straight towards the newly-minted sound sorceress.) "OH GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT OH GOD OH MAN OH FU-" (Now playing: Road by James Tungsten https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN22Y1p1s-g )