>be me
>was illigal gunsmith now illigal is an after thought
>be also buddy with dwarths
>we draw and make weird complex guns for fun, even made a full batch of an94 that work perfecly fine
>i love to dress up as the merchan from res4 and get his accsent
>finaly open a shop of wonders with magic guns
>give a part of the profit back to the dwarfs and they supplies me with more guns or help me with commisions
>now with my custom made VCI puma that i use as my mobile shop i get to some shithole silkroad city wanabe Yug-Fg? Yug-jh? fuck it
Yug-fag
>basicaly retarded medieval fag made a walled city and i stand out like no tomorow in the front gate
>basicaly a lot of monay is going threw the city so thats the best place for bisness
>and now im gonna aproche it
>im now driving to the city
>i can see the look of pure shock and terror from the guards
>i stop in front of the gates an see some wizard shooting magic missile at me, fucker is a fat fuck even whear a fucking fedora
>Ivmoth my midget bff start aiming at the blob of failure
>ivmoth shoot a single round at him, he blow in a fountain of blood
>the gards come back with a light field gun and mercenaries
>well shit thats a realy shit first impression right now
>gonna have to open and talk it out
>"hey would kindly STOP SHOOTING AT ME OR I WILL OPEN FIRE!"
>one of the mercenarie literaly said i shit you not "its not a 20 im not afraid"
>mfw
>a guy in a checkered suite shit on the retard around and start talking to some guards
>"sorry about that friend, but that kind of theatral entrence is a bit imposing, i will let you in"
>finaly someone with less chromosone then atom
t>he puma does not fit in the gate so it stat tearing it of, something i noticed only after i passed
>the merchan road is arealy full exept for one place, the other roads are way to small and im not here to play killdoser part 2
>anyway i set up my wandering gunshop and see the rest of the merchant eye gouging me
>Ivmoth see this and start moving the turret and pretty much all merchan panic
>hey at least im easy to notice
>alright time to sell
>so after a few hours after putting my kiosque the merchan come back to do their job
>of course one of them charge at me with a knife getting some 9x39s in the face
>other then that its a pretty chill day
>at dawn i pack my guns,not a single one bought, Ivmothis pissed off rambling about some elfves subversion
>i lock the puma and go to a tavern for supper and to get a room
>prices are in fucking gold so for a good smooked meat sandwich its like 20g or arould 1000$ wtf
>Ivmoth have no probleme paying tho so we get a tabble talking to each other
>"hay that was a shit one fo shure hey"
>the guy at the gate come to shit our table and of course Ivmoth start bitching about personal space
>i introduce myself
>the guy is named of course Benny ya of course
>so basicaly benny is the king of that place and hes gonna make pay for the dammage which will be not gonna be possible but he offer us a deal, cheap high quality ammo and guns in exchange for "friendship", so eh how bad can it be
>he also ask for a gun for free for him self of course as a "token of frenship" so i get pack to puma and show him the sellection
>"Anon, i dont see any serial numbers, are all handmade?"
>"yeah, you like it?"
>he pick one of the magic sig and disencenble it
>"these are legit and not some inernt replica"
>he pick a H&K SMG II
>"will be happy to do bisness with you"
>well at least i did not noly made enemies today
>i go back to the tavern and see Ivmoth drunk screaming at an elf a regressive ludite
>i go to my table and finish my supper
>after 3 barfight and a riot avoided we go to the our room for next day
>around mid night i hear some footsteps aroud the door so i wake up to see whats is about with my deagle in hands
>its just a guard
>i go back to sleep
part 3
>i woke up at dawn
>get myself ready for another day of bisness
the tarvern served some pretty dope saussage
>i get back to my puma and get my guns ready for sell
>for once i dont get shit looks, after 30 mins im ready for bisness
>i rubbed my hands at a point i look like a untrustwordy jew that would offer you a contract for your soul by anticipation
>by high noon some adventurers look to buy stuff, nothing more then a bunch sluty mage exepted of a dragon guy ranger
>shes looking for a new weapon having her broken crosspow in hand
>after somehow missing me he turn around and see my puma
>she aproches me
>"pssss, over here stranga"
>"i dont trust you"
>"ah please stranga, dont judge a book by its colors"
>flash her
>"what`are ya buuying"
>"whats that?"
>"ah, colectors items, these are great guns stranga"
>"doesent look like any guns i have ever see"
>"just take what you want to buy, ammo not included"
>she points at a WA2000
>"ah i seeeee you have a taste for pefection, this unicorn is almost one of a kind, it will shoot 300 winchester magnum at a penny at 2000m without fail, its a true precision monster shooting as fast as can pull the trigger, its a great choice stranga"
>"how does it cost"
>"40 000gold"
>"WHAT"
>we get a heated argument
>she try offer my sex for a lower price
>say no because of sever autism
>i`l die a virgin and she probably as a sort of aids or something
>dragon girl chimp out
>the sluty elves check to what is going on
>they come with an offer
>30k
>Ivmoth wisper "ay ya might need some pussy
for once"
>is say 35k plus the dragon girl just to make Ivmoth shut up about pussy
>the dragonborn goes urg fine
>i dont dont plan to pull out btw
>so i get here inside the puma, close the door and fuck her, lizard puss feels very good
ohgawdimcooooming.pm3
>dragon girls get very angry but dont do anything because she want the rifle
>i open the door give her the bolt,a poorly drawn manuel and 100 rounds
part4
>gonna have to go the preist i heard they can cure pretty much all deasese
>a fuck ton of guards come too see me and >say they are buying all my stuff
>the puma is not for sell
>offer them my stuff for 400k, i dont want push my luck even tho i could make 10x as much and still not overpice
>guard start bitching
>you want you buy it
>they comeback a few hours later with 3 wheelbarrel full of gold
>"here all our money now give us the guns"
>"with pleasure"
>i unload my guns and they put the bags of gold in the puma
>holy shit thats a lot of gold, the puma is full
>i go to the church just to be sure to not have some bullshit pussy curse
>after hours of boring comunion i get to check with the priest
>i got some bullshit tf curse that would transform my into a lizard girl
>fuck that, i aint a trannie
>drink some holy water and get the curse remove
>good thing i check
>now time for the dwarth citadel
>its around a day of driving away
>as i start to leave i arealy see the guards fight over the guns i sold
>i kinda feel bad to sell powerfull weapons to idiots like this
>one of them arealy broke a g3
>after around 5 hours of driving a dragon and around 40 kobs pops in demanding the gold
>the dragon start monologing and Ivmoth unload 30 mm AP on the dragon killing it instanly, dumb fuck, the kobs are gathering around the body wandering how that could have happened soo fast
>we get back at the entrence seeing other pumas patrole and mountains of orcs
>the sweat aroma of gunpowder and steal fill my nose
>its good to be home