https://imgur.com/a/bqopDZA

>Be me
>Be on the landing strip
>"Christ, it's cold out tonight."
>"Cold?"
>The paratrooper standing to me laughs as she takes a drag of her cigarette, the soft orange burning tip makes the stitching of her name on her uniform glimmer like a campfire glow off icy snow
>Gerhend
>"Well you're warm with all that hot tobacco smoke in your lungs."
>"It's not tobacco."
>"What is it then?"
>"Elvish sweet root." Gerhend blows a cloud of sweet sugary smoke in my face, "I can't get enough of it. I was even having some in the plane yesterday when I was cleaning it. I'm hoping to get some more in the Elf kingdom we're dropping into."
>"If they find out we're working with the Moths they probably won't sell to you."
>"They have chocolate sweet root too." 
>Gerhend ignores me, adjusting her M1 Garand's sling with one hand and biting down on the hot end of her candy cigarette with the other
>"Look neat, jump captain is coming. He doesn't look happy."
>the jump captain stomps down the landing strip angrily with a Moth person in tow
>the Moth person's wings a bright orange that slowly dims, probably pulled from flight control as extra muscle
>"LISTEN UP. IT'S COME TO MY ATTENTION THE FLIGHT WAS DELAYED DUE TO THE PLANE BEING OVERWEIGHT."
>all of the paratroopers look at each other, wondering who is the one smuggling contraband
>"I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION. AN ENTIRE CLOUD OF MOTHS DOWNED IN HOSTILE ELF LANDS, AND YET HERE YOU ARE. WE ONLY HAVE SO MUCH FUEL."
>the jump captain gets in everyone's face
>"WAS IT YOU? YOU? OR HOW ABOUT YOU?"
>he stares into Gerhend's eyes, she doesn't flinch and just continues looking forward
>he gets closer. Interrogating her with his stare. 
>I peek over and see Gerhend's resolve beginning to break. Her pupils slowly becoming worried
>despite the cold humidity, the jump captain might still be able to smell the sweet root on her breath
>"IT WAS ME, CAPTAIN!"
>we all turn around to see a nervous paratrooper pulling out a flask
>"CHRIST, ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC SON?"
>"It's milk."
>"MILK? ARE YOU A TIDDIE MILK FETISHIST SON? THAT BETTER BE THE REASON YOU HAVE DELAYED MY FLIGHT!"
>"N-N-No, sir… it's warm milk."
>"ARE YOU GOING TO SLEEP? DO YOU WANT A COOKIE?"
>the Moth slaps the paratrooper's helmet off and pulls him out of line.
>"ALRIGHT, THE REST OF YOU BETTER GET ON THAT PLANE TOOT SWEET!"
>Gerhend smiles at the word "sweet"
>"I thought I was a goner for a minute." She whispers.
>"Did you make the plane overweight with your cigarettes?"
>"What? No!"
>Gerhend lets the top of the pack peek out of a pocket in her bandolier
>"I discarded one of the en blocs. A pack of sweet root is lighter than eight rounds of .30-06 I assure you."
>"Are you really sure you want to leave that ammo behind."
>"It's eight rounds," she says dismissively before scoffing. "Unlike you I'm not THAT concerned about ammo."
>Gerhend pounds the buttstock of her Garand against the landing strip
>"ALRIGHT CHUTE HEADS. ONTO THE PLANE!"
>the Moth pilots salute as we board the plane
>the moon above and hazy fog punctuated by spotlights
>an atmosphere of both nerves but rampant excitement
>it's epi--
>"AGGHHHH!"
>the paratroopers who were climbing into the plane all flail and fall back onto the landing strip
>we watch dumbfounded as the other paratroopers who were already inside jump out prematurely
>"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
>"A SLIME! THERE'S A SLIME IN THE PLANE!"
>"IT GOT DAVE!"
>"What?" The jump captain unholsters a 1911 and pushes the terrified paratroopers aside like they're yesterday's laundry. Peeks into the plane all gruff and tough before screaming, "HOLY SHIT THERE IS!"
>He empties all seven rounds of his 1911 into the plane while backing away quickly
>"FUCKING .45," he yells and throws his 1911 at the slime that has begun to show its disgusting blue bulbous shape
>filling out the doorway
>it eats the 1911 before staring at us and returning to its place deep in the plane like a bear going back to hibernate
>"WHAT DO WE DO?"
>a paratrooper rocks back and forth while holding Dave's helmet in his lap
>we hear yet another scream from inside the plane
>the pounding of arms and Dave's head pops up against a window
>he frantically smashes it and tries to climb out but the slime is trying to reconsume him
>"BEGONE FOUL BEAST! OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY, OR WORSE. PT!"
>the jump captain throws a vial of holy water at the slime
>it hits Dave in the face and he screams as he burns
>"CAPTAIN! DAVE IS A TIEFLING!"
>Dave is eaten by the slime
>and thus began us trying to get the slime out of the plane
>attempt #1
>"What about food?"
>we run to the mess hall and wheel a cart full of Moth bread back
>we lay a little trail of breadcrumbs leading out of the plane
>a flamer stands guard, hiding behind the final stack of bread
>I bang on the side of the plane to irritate the slime who comes out to attack me but instead follows the bread trail
>all of us stepping forward to yell and brandish our weapons to keep it following the path
>but just as the flamer comes up, the slime sees the pilot light of his flamethrower and scurries back into the plane
>running over the jump captain
>"WHY DID IT COME TO ME? WHY DID IT COME ONTO ME!"
>a couple troopers laugh and he throws one of his .45 magazines at their heads
>attempt #2
>"What if we pull it out with a stick."
>"IF YOU FUCK HEADS LET ME DIE I'LL KILL YOU!"
>"But you'll be dead, Captain."
>"I WILL KILL THE DEVIL AND COME BACK TO KILL YOU."
>we ignore him as we duct tape him to the end of a very long pipe
>hoisting him into the plane as bait
>"COME AT ME YOU BLUE SMURF FUCK!"
>we hear him drowning and start to pull him out
>the flamer ready this time
>the slime clings to the plane floor but is starting to lose its grip
>"HEAVE!"
>we hear the jump captain gurgle angrily from inside the slime
>something about, "I will have you all eating blue jello for a week after this. Get me out of this blue jew coom ball."
>the flamer springs into action but burns the slime before it's all the way out of the plane so I can't shut the door
>it spits out the captain but retreats into the plane
>attempt #3
>"What if we just suck it out?"
>we make the flamer do it, because he has fucked it up every time we let him do anything
>if anyone's going in it's him
>we give him a vacuum from the barracks and push him into the plane
>I lock the door and give him a thumbs up
>the flamer approaches the slime
>keeping his distance like Chris Pratt taming raptors
>"AGGHHHH!"
>he turns on the vacuum and begins to suck up the slime
>it works and the troopers all cheer 
>but then the vacuum stops with a slimy grinding of gears
>and the slime explodes out the vacuum
>we lost the flamer that day
>he will be missed
>attempt #4
>what about a smoke grenade?
>Gerhend walks up to the door and throws a grenade in
>we watch through the windows as the slime eats it
>the pin getting dislodged as it digests the grenade
>slowly the gas filling the slime's insides
>it inflates like a balloon
>about to explode but then it suddenly pops into two smaller slimes with a big cloud of smoke
>great, now we have two
>attempt #5
>there is no attempt #5
>we're all out of ideas
>Gerhend plops down and lights a sweet root cigarette
>"All that smoke makes me want a smoke."
>Suddenly the slimes slam against the side of the plane
>"What the fuck!"
>Gerhend steps back and the slimes slam against the side again trying to get to her
>they break through the windows and flow onto the tarmac
>"GET THE FLAMER!"
>"NO NO NO!" Gerhend screams as she stumbles back
>she throws her lighter
>a slime eats it
>she gets her rifle out and moves to load it
>bullets can't kill slimes but it can get them to back off
>but she dips her fingers into her bandolier for an en bloc
>and only finds her sweet root cigarettes she was smuggling onto the flight
>"oh"
>the slimes seize on her like two wet, blobby puppies
>going for the pack of sweet root cigarettes
>Gerhend is left dyed a royal blue
>she gets onto her elbows with a jaded, teary eyed thousand yard stare
>shivering as we all watch the slimes eat the sweet root with great happiness
>I run and get the flamer sitting on the run way and torch the living shit out of the two blue smurf shits
>all that's left is a black and blue smear after the fire destroys them
>the jump captain runs inside the plane to make sure there isn't some third slime baby hiding inside
>"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
>he screams
>Gerhend looks up, terrified
>he lifts up a sweet root cigarette butt
>Gerhend stares at it
>suddenly like a deer in headlights
>"GERHEND!"
>"UHHH…"
>"SMOKING? ON MY PLANE?"
>He stomps over to loom over her
>"DO YOU SMOKE IN CHURCH?" He demands.
>"No?"
>"THEN WHY DID YOU SMOKE IN MY PLANE! SLIMES LOVE SWEET ROOT. YOU IDIOT!"
>"S-S-Sore-r-ry C-Capt-tain…"
>for the next year Gerhend would be given a plate of blue jello with a sweet root cigarette inside to finish before every jump