>Be me
>Conservation ecologist aka paid hippy
>Own decent sized woodlands in midwest
>yeehaw
>About five months after the merge
>Got huge pay increase as magical bullshit is messing with wild life
>One day riding through the trails when I see a mine shaft that was not there five months ago
>Grab trusty 20 gauge double, hope to God it ain't kobolds
>Fuck those scaly freaks
>Head in tunnel, lanterns lit on wall
>Concern rising as the area is known for coal and who knows how much is floating around
>See bright light at next turn
>Hear singing
>Rolaids.exe
>Just dwarves
>Announce myself as not to get clobbered
>Dwarves can be very twitchy at times
>"Howdy, uhh what ya doing down here?"
>Closest one turns to me
>"Mining, what else would we be doing?"
>Other dwarves laugh
>Alright smartass no mister nice Anon
>"Well it seems you're mining my shit as I own this plot."
>Laughter stops, looks of 'oh shit' all around
>One of the younger dwarfs looks around
>"So now what?"
>Sigh
>"Right listen, I'm a reasonable guy and I bet y'all are too. Just take me to whoever is in charge and we can probably work this out."
>Dwarves glance around and shrug shoulder at each other without saying a thing
>First guy speaks up again
>"Alright."
>They lead through the tunnels, it's like a fuckin maze
>Eventually get to a large cavern with houses carved into the walls
>End up in the biggest one, I think it's a governors house or something
>Nope
>Essentially a large pub
>They bring me up to the bar, an old looking dwarf drinking away
>One of the miners cough a bit
>"Ey, boss uhhh this guy owns where we're mining."
>Old dwarf gives the guy some major stink eye, looks up to me
>"Hey I'm willing to make a deal." 
>Old dwarf lights up
>"Well why didn't ya say so? Sal! Get this man a beer."
>Tankard set in front of me
>Beer is REALLY fucking good
>"So what will it take to let us mine?"
>Few hours of negotiating fly by, deal is struck
>They get to mine as long as they don't collapse the place, and they can use the area near the tunnel to farm to make that great beer
>I get some gold and more importantly
>Three kegs of the beer a month
>Three delicious amazing kegs of brew all to myself and they'll leave the payment near the tunnel entrance so it's easy to get
>Old dwarf claps my back, likes my moxie or something
>"Well its time to party lad!"
>Get absolutely hammered, smell like a brewery, and now inducted as a member of the community or some shit
>Life is good
>Time passes, things settle down, still party with the dwarfs from time to time
>Go to pick up my new shipment of beer
>Only one keg
>Wtf, talk to the dwarf delivering the good shit
>"Sorry man, something has been messing with the crops up here. We'll send more when we can."
>Idea pops in head
>"I'll deal with the thing alright? You guys do your thing."
>Dwarf looks back
>"Cool I'll tell the boss!"
>Pretty good idea of what it is as reports were coming in lately.
>Dire deer
>Don't want to sit around and wait for it so I set some traps
>Huge fuckin' snap traps, won't kill it but it'll be easy if I get it
>Questionable legality but fuck it
>Start setting some up at track locations, now all I have t
>SNAP CRUNCH
>Bingo
>Hear wailing at the other end of the field
>Not the monster deer kind though
>Hop on 4-wheeler to check it out
>Not bingo
>Some kind of sheep chick bawling her eyes out with the trap firmly clamped on her leg
>Ohhhhh shit, I'm definitly going to hell for this one
>Run up to her, try to talk over her crying as I calm her down
>"Now listen I'm going to release the trap. When I do the blood will flow back into your leg and it is going to hurt. A lot. You ready?"
>She just nods her head and covers her eyes
>Release the trap
>[Crying intensifies]
>I thought she was loud before but Jesus Christ
>Sounds like a mix between a sheep baying and a woman getting stabbed
>Makes sense I guess
>Put her in front of me on seat so she can dangle her leg
>Don't know what to say so we ride in silence up to my cabin
>Pull up to front and hop off
>"I'm going to check that leg of your's ok?"
>She nods as I slowly and gently prod her leg
>"So uhh whats your name?"
>I'm asking just to break the silence
>"It's Anna, just Anna. And you?"
>"Anon."
>She squeaks as I get to the part where the trap hit
>It ain't good chief
>"I'm gonna have to take you to the hospital, you have anyone you want to call? Tell them what happened and all."
>She starts tearing up even more than when I was checking her leg
>Oof that's a sore spot
>I pick her up bridal style and gently set her in my ranger
>Its a silent trip to the hospital letting me feel shitty about what I did
>"So how did you end up in that trap by the way?"
>She glances over before focusing on her leg again
>"I saw the wheat, it's not much but I can survive off it."
>I don't ask why she has to raid wheat fields to survive.
>Arriving at the hospital I lift her out of her seat though this time I notice how light she is
>I can feel her ribs in my hands and wonder for just how long was she out there?
>Getting her through check up and x-rays showed that the bone was fractured almost all the way through
>Leaving her alone while she gets her cast I ponder the situation
>I can't let her starve and it's my fault for the broken leg...
>Ah shit why did you have to raise me right ma?
>Entering back into the room I see she has a pink cast wrapped around her left leg, starting below the knee and stopping at the hoof
>"Alright Anna lets go."
>Her ears flop slightly as she tilts her head in confusion
>"Go? Go where?"
>"I'm taking you home with me."
>A light blush forms as I set her in a wheelchair
>"No it's fine I"
>I cut her off before she can continue
>"Look if you have somewhere else to stay I'll take you there, but if not you can rest at my cabin."
>"Ok, but why? You don't know me, I could be a thief for all you know."
>I scoff at the idea of her being threatening
>"Please I've dealt with irate, drunk rednecks my whole life. I think I can take on a single sheep." I tease as I tug on one of her ears.
>"Well if you insist I'll stay; but only until my leg heals."
>I nod my head with that, the sooner life gets back to normal the better
>Arriving back at my cabin I bring her into the living room and set the remote and a blanket next to her
>Grabbing a pair of crutches I had I told her the layout of the place so I could go make a call
>One I was dreading
>"Oh hi Anon its been awhile! You should call more."
>Yes my bubbly little sister, my ying to yang, where she was peppy I was jaded
>Scanning the worn jeans and jacket I grit my teeth for something I've been dreading 
>"Hey I need a favor. I have a... guest and I was wondering if she could borrow some clothes or something."
>"No WAY!"
>"Look its not like that she's just staying over whi-"
>"I'm packing stuff and will be over in the hour. Bye!"
>The phone cuts off as the apocalypse known as my sister is now headed right for me, or rather Anna
>If she wasn't injured I would have gladly bought her new shit to avoid this
>Seeing Anna fidget I call out to her
>"Hey, do you want something for the pain?"
>She looks back curiously
>"Yeah, but didn't the doctor say not to give me the pain meds till after dinner?"
>I shake my head as I pour two tall steins full of dwarven beer
>"Naw, this is an all natural medicine. Perfectly good for you."
>She eyes the beer suspiciously before the pain in her leg makes her cave in
>Taking a long swig of the beer I watch her choke on the smaller drink she takes
>"Not a heavy drinker?" I say with a grin
>"No, where I'm from we usually eat our crops. Not drink them."
>Fair enough
>Sitting back into the old couch I nicked from a friend we settle into a comfortable silence of watching the TV
>Right as I rise to take a piss a frantic knocking starts on my door
>"Prepare yourself Anna."
>I open the door and get shoved aside as my sister scans the room for her prey
>enemyspotted.wav
>"Ohhh Anon, you got yourself a cutie."
>The headache is already starting to form
>"Yeah sure you can use the guest room for the time being.
>I wave her off as I refill my glass
>Dragging Anna of I can already hear the mumbles of girl talk in the room over
>Well time for sports
>Through the next few hours Anna is carted in and out to show me new outfits
>Most is standard girl stuff jeans, tank tops, blouses etc
>I try to remain neutral as not to give encourage her 
>Towards the end of this little modeling show my resolve gets tested
>A blushing Anna in one of those shoulder-less shirts and a skirt that seems just a little too short 
>Not now my son
>Anna fidgets under my laser stare
>"S-so what do you think of this one."
>"It's uhh pretty nice. Suits ya."
>Smooth as ice
>I just hope she can't she my 'personal rifle'
>Little sister hopes out of the room with a much smaller bundle of clothes than before
>"I left some clothes for Anna, mostly the cute ones so don't ruin them with your nonsense!"
>I wave her off as she leaves 
>"Yeah sure, you know me. No nonsense."
>I can feel her glare through the door
>And its a pretty heavy door
>I turn back to resume my important duties
>That being drink and TV
>Though seeing Anna sitting there gives me pause
>Same skirt still on lets a little more thigh show
>Dear God this mortal vessel was not made for such temptations
>Anna's ears flutter as she looks at me quizzically
>"What?"
>My sheep girl can not be this cute
>be me a week later
>Anna the sheep-lady is getting bored of laying inside
>almost found my secret lair
>close call
>too close
>Anna starts bugging me again
>"Hey Anon can we ride your buggy?"
>confused.jpg
>"My 4-wheeler? Uhh sure."
>Anna lights up
>"Yay lets go!"
>Anna grabs her crutches as I grab a cooler and a few guns
>Maybe she will like shooting, seems like an outdoors gal
>Strap cooler on back rack, guns and crutches on front, and help Anna slide behind me
>Start blazin' some trails
>Enjoying the trees to my sides, the cute sheep holding me from behind, and the wind in my face
>Fuck helmets
>Find a clearing to settle in and drop gear
>Anna leaning against the cooler, sipping a domestic she grabbed
>She notices me staring
>"Oh sorry, I should have asked. I see you drinking them a lot so I thought..."
>"Nah its fine. Want to shoot one of these?"
>I pull out a 1911, don't want to give her something too big
>"Oh s-sure."
>Anna grabs the gun and aims down at a tree at the end of the clearing
>BANG
>And it goes wide right
>Anna's ears start to droop
>No sad for sheep
>Sidle up behind her
>"Here let me help."
>Hear her squeak but ignore it, guns must be attended to
>Envelop her hands with mine, adjust aim, fix grip, change stance etc.
>"Now breath and focus on the target."
>Hear her as she breaths in deep and exhales slowly
>BANG
>Bullet hits, not dead on but some bark does fly off
>Let her go as she empties the clip, missed two more times but hits the rest
>Not bad for a beginner, but now I have to show off a little
>Grab double and slugs and finish my beer
>"Hey Anna check this out!"
>Fling can in air and put the slugs through it
>Not a far shot but its showy
>"Wow that was cool, you should teach me!"
>Smile as the /K/ube has gained another disciple
>"In time, the sun is getting low and I need a shower."
>"Yeah I think I do too."
>Ride back to cabin and smile at how well the day went
>Nothing could ruin this week
>Right?
>Next day
>Bad storm, dark as shit and raining sideways
>Cozy on up in the den with Anna, watching spooky movies
>Apparently she likes then, though she scares easily
>She has slide across the couch, now leaning into my chest
>"I'm scared and your warm."
>Kinda want to call her our on the lie but she is fluffy
>So very, very fluffy
>One of my hands is resting on the couch but the other is lightly grazing her hip
>Suddenly I hear pattering on the roof
>Too big to be a squirrel and to regular for a branch
>Something ain't right...
>Get up and head to room
>Grab my S&W revolver
>Wanted to grab the shotgun but also don't want to put a hole in the house
>Slowly open front door and dash to the side of the house closest to the trees
>Small shapes are on the roof, creeping about
>Lighting in the distance flashes off their scaled hides
>Fuckin' kobolds
>About five of them, armed with handguns and one with something longer
>Take aim at the one with the biggest gun and fire
>Kobolds are light and the bullet catches it in the chest, sending it off the roof
>Others panic, can't see and start firing wildly
>Take out two more before I'm spotted
>Instant hail of fire as I duck behind a tree
>No trigger discipline as the bush around me is torn apart
>Shooting stops, I assume they are reloading
>Turn around and blast the first one I see
>Realize there is still one more out there
>Sudden pain from my left arm as I see the last one tearing the skin off 
>"FUCKING SHIT"
>Point blank it in the head 
>Shoot the corpse to make me feel better
>Hope I didn't get magic rabies or something
>Walk back into cabin
>I'm now staring down the barrel of my own shotgun
>"Jesus Christ Anna it's just me!"
>Anna drops the gun and hobbles to the first aid kit in the bathroom 
>Now sitting in the kitchen as Anna sews the tear shut, drinking alcohol for the pain
>Stitches done, arm wrapped up, and well buzzed
>Anna looks at my with her big blue eyes
>"What the hell happened!?!"
>"Fuckin' kobolds, don't worry their dead now."
>Anna pales a little
>"Well are you ok?"
>"I'm as ok as one can be after being bitten by some fucking animal."
>Maybe its the adrenalin speaking but I'm still pissed
>Anna looks shocked, then sad and starts sniffling
>"What's wrong with you?"
>"It's nothing" 
>The 'animal' bit must have struck a nerve
>Oh God here comes the water works
>Anna leaves for the guest bedroom, tears starting to fall
>Great, now I feel like an ass
>Sigh to myself as I trudge to the door
>She is absolutely bawling in there
>Who knew sheep girls would be so sensitive
>Right?
>Knock on the door to no response
>Try to open the door but she locked it.
>"Anna look, I'm sorry I didn't mean you. It was the adrenalin and kobolds and I said something I maybe shouldn't have.
>Crying is lighter now though I can still hear hiccups
>"Listen having you around has been great, it's nice to have someone livening up the place. And it doesn't hurt you're pretty cute."
>Maybe I divulged a bit to much
>Apparently it worked as Anna cracks open the door and peeks out
>"Really?"
>"Yeah."
>"You think I'm cute? And not an animal?"
>"Yes, why would I think your an animal. Your probably more humane than me anyway."
>Anna giggles at this and opens the door the rest of the way
>She evidently changed into pjs
>As in booty shorts and a tank top
>Lord don't abandon me now
>Anna flushes red and starts to sway on her feet
>"You know the movie and you getting hurt really scared me. Do you think you could sleep next to me for tonight?" 
>Autism activates
>"S-sure."
>Laying in queen size bed next to Anna
>Have revolver-patterned sleep pants cause cold, don't like wearing shirts to bed
>Laying on my back trying to fall asleep and end this sinful torture
>Try counting sheep, backfires horribly and now sheep ass is on my mind
>ErectingSentry.webm
>"Hey Anon? I'm cold"
>Anna grabs my arm before I can saw anything, drapes it over her stomach
>Now pretty sure she's interested, though not for sure
>Her shirt must have ridden up cause my hand is in her midsection wool
>So God damn fluffy
>Shuffling
>Wait no
>Anna has shuffled closer, pretty much spooning now
>Sleep pants don't keep Jr. tucked away at all
>Any closer and I'd be hotdogging her ass
>Reason to myself why she is closer
>Maybe she's asleep and her body is cold
>But if not...
>Fuck it, this amount of lust and doubt can't be good for my health
>Lean in to whisper in her ear
>"Hey Anna you awake?"
>"Y-yeah."
>She's awake and the trepidation in her voice tells me this is all part of her plan
>Think or how to break the subject
>"Are you really cold? Or is there something else going on here?"
>Her breath hitches a little
>Gotcha
>"Anna, do you like me? Cause I like you."
>Silence
>O fug
>"Yeah."
>Nice
>"Ya know I don't have a girlfriend, and I just may have a thing for cute sheepgirls."
>Start running my hand lightly over her side as I say this
>"Really?"
>She sounds either scared or nervous maybe both
>"Yep. So do you want to try it out? Ya know you being my gf."
>She rolls over, now facing me and in my face
>"YES!"
>Gives me a quick kiss on the lips
>Kinda shocked
>Didn't thing she would be that enthusiastic
>She now has on a million dollar smile and is nuzzling below my chin
>Pretty fucking cute
>Fuzzy wool is soft
>Soft makes sleepy
>Conk out like a light
>Wake up
>Notice lack of sheep
>Notice presence of something good
>Anna is in the kitchen making breakfast
>I could get used to this
>"Oh Anon! You know what today is?"
>"Sunday?"
>"Yes! No, well it is. More importantly I get my cast off!"
>Oh yeah, that
>"Come on eat fast! I want this thing off."
>Fine, fine
>Eat food, waffles pretty good
>Hop into ranger with Anna
>Try to make small take since we have not really talked since last night
>"So, what now?"
>Anna looks confused
>"What do you mean what now?"
>"I mean we're together now so how do you want to handle this?"
>Anna scrunches her nose in thought.
>"Honestly I like our current situation, though now with some extra benefits~"
>You like benefits
>Once at the hospital getting the cast off was a breeze, you probably could have done it yourself
>Oh well
>As a little celebration you stop by a local burger joint for some food and a strawberry milkshake to share
>Anna apparently likes strawberries
>*ring*
>Looking at the newcomer to the diner fills you with dread
>"Oh Jesus Christ, not now."
>Anna looks around concerned as you sink into your seat.
>"Hey buddy whats poppin?"
>Its your coworker Hunter
>Take a guess at what he's good at
>Cool dude and you consider each others friends but he is a gnoll and is as energetic as one would expect
>Not to mention loud
>"WoAaaH Anon! Who is this lovely lady? I didn't even know you were in the market!"
>"Hi Hunter. This is Anna, Anna this is my coworker Hunter."
>"A pleasure."
>Yeah right
>"Shit Anon I'd love to take more about this but I got shit to do so see ya!"
>And like that he was gone, didn't even eat anything
>"He's... fun."
>Sure Anna you say that now
>You just know Monday is going to hold a lot of questions
>Such is life