Amateur writer here, constructive criticism welcomed.
 
Now gather round kids and let me tell you the tail. Of how I met your grandmother and where I was when the konvergence happened.
 
T’was a calm and sunny day in the Bering Sea, we left port two days before and had been topped off on fuel and stores. We could sail around the world and then some, but starve on week 5, such was our holds. The guys at the barracks had dropped off the mail before we left and a package of mine that was supposed to be delivered the day after we left was among the parcels. Much to my ire.  Y'see before the happening melee weapons weren't as common as they are now, and I had ordered a mace from an online store and we weren't allowed to have such weapons on board. So when we secured from special sea detail after unmooring and there be a package of two feet in length sitting on my rack, heavy on one end, gave me a small amount of panic. It couldn't fit in my rack but it did fit in my locker behind the coats. Then came the task of convincing my fellow non-rates that it wasn't a sex toy.

Anyway. I was on watch on the Coast Guard Cutter Eidolon, it was a warm 40ish degrees F and I had my float coat over my unit hoody. Looking out for whales and fishing buoys, when I noticed an odd heat shimmer off the bow. This shimmer stretched from about 340 to 020 from my guesstimate. I called it down the sound tube to the helmsman, and watch partner LaPorté, I heard him start to relay the message when the shimmer made a sound like a combination of tearing fabric and one of Bos'n Dias' farts after sashimi night. So I made the only logical thing I could think of and issued a correction from heat shimmer to trans-dimensional portal. Yes I said that! You can ask any one of them who were up there when I said it, LaPorté, Ms.Freemen, Sn Brown, Petty Officer Dias, and Petty Officer Tyler. They all heard it. We all panicked, Freemen, who was the OOD, ordered full astern and hard right rudder. Well, it didn't do shit because we were going too fast and sailed right through, my last thoughts before entering as I held on to the great metal balls of the compass was "this better not lead us to 40k". Now the next thing I knew was that it was very warm, in fact it's hot. The sun was up, but in a different spot, the sea was a different shade of blue, there wasn't a portal behind us, and we're turning backwards. Now I don't remember the ship shaking on account of holding on for dear life, but most of the crew recall an odd vibration going down the ship from bow to stern. As I began to do my lookout job of scanning the sea the sound tube buzzes and LaPorté is asking for a magnetic check. The magnetic compass, a large thing with two large steel balls on either side to help with magnetic deviation, was spinning. I asked them to stand by because of that, LaPorté was busy righting the ship. That's when Brown comes up the ladder to my flybridge and says that the gyros aren't working and the radars are down and asked me to check my cell phone. I pulled it out of my pocket and it's dead, his is dead also, along with everyone else's on the bridge, turned out it was only us whose phones died, everyone else below deck phones still worked fine, mine came back after a recharge also. I checked the compass and it finally stopped spinning so I called down to see if they still needed that check. Now we do magnetic checks so in case the gyros go down we can still navigate, the face of the compass is also transparent and a tube goes from the bottom to in front of the helmsman where a mirror lets him see it, the tube can turn. He returns no, but asked to keep watch for anything since the radars are still down. As we're chatt’en the ships the 1MC come alive and the captain says to set General Quarters. Funnily enough, me, being the master lookout, am already at my station. Sn Brown is the Qmo so he heads back down to the bridge. Brown was smart, real smart, his plans were to go officer, he made it too if memory serves me right.

Anyway. We set GQ and I get to scanning, it sucked too because we were on the last hour of watch. We were at GQ for 3 hours before we stood down, but Captain had us maintain zebra though. So anyway, it was around the two hour mark when I stopped scanning to stretch and noticed the moon high above us, the sun was just beginning to set so it became more visible, it looked odd to me so I looked at it with my 'binos and, that's not our moon. Y'all are used to it, but seeing it for the first time kinda freaked me out. So I call down and asked for an extra pair of eyes, when inquired I informed them that we were not in Kansas anymore. The Captain along with Sn Brown come up and the Captain asks what I could possibly mean by that. It seems the radars are still not working, and we're not pick’en anyone up on any radio frequency. So we don't know if those work either. I salute the Captain and point saying that's not our moon and hand him the 'binos. He looks at the moon then goes to the big eyes to have a better picture. Now the big eyes are a larger pair of binoculars, and are about two and a half feet long, I'd use them to look at planets on clear nights before and after the merge. He curses a little bit, says to keep watch and heads back down, Brown looks exhausted and asks if I need anything, I told him no, I'm good. And asked if he was aware of the large package I got before we left port.

He nonchalantly asks if I’m referring to the sex toy I got in the mail. I told him it’s not a fucking sex toy it’s a medival mace that wasn’t supposed to be delivered until AFTER we left port, and for some reason it arrived early. So we got into a little back and forth about me being an idiot and how we’re not supposed to have “weapons” on board and yadda, yadda. Anyway, Sn Carlos was my watch relife and the passdown was quite simple. We’re not on earth, shits fucked, moons wrong, and no contacts. Now he didn’t actually say any of that except the no contacts part, but it was implied. Dinner smelled halfway decent this time and got in line and waited my turn, my shipmates once they noticed I was back from watch started asking me all the questions that they thought were relevant. Apparently word had reached everyone that the moon was different and they were speculating on weather where we might’ve been transported, IF we were transported at all and that this could be the same earth in the future or the past. We were having lamb chops for food, I’d like to call them baby walruses because the ribs looked like tusks a bit and walruses are the dumbest creatures in the northern ocean. Nothing much special happened until my next watch, 8-12s, other than unboxing the mace and showing it off, and subsequently being told to stow it. It was still dark when we got to the bridge and that they said they thought they got the local time figured out. Ship time was something like 3 and a half hours ahead of where we currently were but they didn’t know if Captain wanted to adjust the time to fit or keep the current time schedule. I took my place at the helm and nothing happened, other than implementing rationing of supplies and the radar and coms still not working. For three days. No sights, no sounds, no land, no nothing. On the fourth day of sailing aimlessly in a random direction the lookout, Labmire, Labs for short, managed to spot something, her description was “A large spikey thing with tentacles”. So the bridge crew were giving her a hard time about it and certain adult cartoons. Anyway the sun would be setting during our watch and all that. Shortly after going up for my second round of looking out when I spotted the first thing that indicated intelligent life. It was a light, small and sitting on the horizon. Almost couldn’t see it with the bigeyes. Now we were running dark per Captain's orders, so we didn’t have the running lights on or anything. Ms.Freeman actually came up to the flybridge to get a bett’r look at it and get a heading as close to intercept as possible. Now the moon had transitioned into the halfmoon phase and we weren’t sticking out like a sore thumb too badly, despite the boat being painted fucking white. Anyway. That small light turned out to be a lot of even small’r lights on one of those old fashion sailing ships with four masts. I was informed that it was a bark-en-tine or somesuch. The Captain said to tail them from maximum distance until sunrise then close the distance to hail them. We closed the distance at first light, I remember that it was a cloudy day, and pulling up to them it became quite obvious that we were about twice their size and they were terrified of us. And green. Gregg, who was lookout at the time, said they were literal lizard people and concluded that we must be on the reptilian homeworld. Deck force later convened a meeting to formulate a plan to become the human overlords of the reptilian planet! That obviously didn’t happen. Where was I? Oh yeah. We didn’t understand a word they said and they us. After we convinced them that we weren’t going to capture them and we were lost, which took the better part of the day, they allowed some of our boarding team on their ship to look at their charts, they took pictures with their phones and handed off a ream of printer paper as a gift. We ended up scaring them again by powering off into the wind at speed. They managed to lose sight of the ship and managed to brain out the photocopied charts which way we needed to go to get to a port or at least solid land before my next watch, which was 16-20s. We also shared the chart photos among everyone. They were really neat looking and had all the antique hand drawnness and “here be monsters” stuff on em. Anyway. We, were in the middle of fucking nowhere and the closest anything was what appeared to be a volcano island about a week and a half from where we currently were. That caused the “lost world” and “dinosaurs” bets to start taking place. Welp, there were dino’s and it turns out they don’t withstand .50 bmg that well. They were also scared off by the sound of its firing so the gun crew only managed two kills. Our FSC, Food Services Specialist Chief, assured us that if the meat were toxic we had the means to cook the toxins out and season them to not taste like shit. Dino is good by the way, tastes like what I would think alligator would taste like. Now with the freezers stocked with more meat then a prison shower on valentines day, the Captain, XO, the Lts, and the Chiefs did a meeting to discuss where to head next. Meanwhile the FS’s did a cookout on the fantail for all the meat we couldn’t shove in the freezers. They and the gun crew who killed the dinos split the “trophies” they got from the butchering. Mostly the claws and teeth and such. 

The next area we were to head was what appeared to be another volcano island but with the middle part caved in forming a natural harbor of sorts with an island in the middle. That one was about six days from Dino island. We did stay at the island for a day of R&R, mostly trying to fish, some people wanted to swim but they were told that if dino’s exist here what might lurk beneath the waves. During the fish call all the lines we cast were cut oddly enough. These were deep sea lines, they’d pull you in rod’n all before breaking, they were cut, and after the sixth lure was lost the Captain called it off.

A few days later we learned what this world is really like.

I wasn’t on lookout when we spotted the ark. I was on watch when it got close enough to attack though, I had brought the mace with me to watch like an autist, luckily enough. At first we thought it was an uncharted island, shaped like a mountain, made of black volcanic rock and with no plants or trees on it we figured that it was very new. When it got bigger when we weren't going t’words it made us take notice. I was lucky that I spotted the harpy circling overhead when I did, got word down the pipe that they might not be friendly and GQ was set shortly afterward. As the massive island-ship got closer it became apparent that it was indeed inhabited, flags’n streamers, cave looking things where smaller boats would come out of, ballista and trebuchet and other siege weapons. Closer still those flags were people skin and I could see boats and fish riders coming out of the caves. Large birds flying above and around it occasionally landing, harpies. Then Captain ordered all outside hatches secured. They asked if I wanted to head down and get inside the bridge, I told them I’d head down when I need to. I noticed the wind then, it had changed directions but it was going at a higher speed then, straight over the bow like it was trying to slow us down, probably a good 20 knots. Then I heard it, metal scraping on metal, I looked over t’words the aft starboard side and saw grappling hooks and grey skinned people climbing over the railing about halfway back. I had enough time to yell boarders down the pipe, as I turned to head down the ladderwell to get inside I noticed that I was too late and they weren’t the first ones onboard. A bandana’d head with dark grey skin was coming up the ladder and wasn’t making a sound. I remember his face, It’s hard to tell an elfs age, even harder if they lived a hard life. He had the wrinkles of someone who learned everything they know on the job and was salty to season a steak by scratching his face. Then his brow scrunched, his eyes bulged out, and blood started to run down his face. I hadn’t even thought about grabbing the mace let alone swinging it down on his head. It was a quick death. He went limp as he fell backwards off the ladder as the next boarder came up from under him. I don’t remember this one's face, I do remember the cutlass though, a dark, beautiful work of dark elf craftsmanship. It’s hanging up on the mantle there. I hit em in the neck, I didn’t break it, but I did enough damage to burst the artery, bled to death. The third was a beauty, female, muscular, kinda on the thin side, I hadn’t fully recovered from the last swing when she was fully up the ladder. She had a nasty looking boarding axe. Her first swing nearly cut my mace in two, I was on the defensive. Then we heard the gunshots. It startled me but it looked like she was completely stunned by the sound, I thought she was shot at first so I swung the mace and connected with her left side ribs, doubling over. I recover but the mace feels lighter, I risk a glance at it and it had broken where she hit it with her axe. I ended up just shouldering her off my flybridge and back down the ladder. I scrambled for the discarded cutlass fearing for my life but no one came back up. I cautiously walked closer to the ladder but there was no one left. Looking over and down there was five bodies with 4 bleeding out. I was in a daze and didn’t register the buzzer at first but as I came to my senses I answered “flybridge aye”. They asked if I was ok and I informed them that I was indeed currently alive and I didn’t think the blood on me was my own. The ark was a lot farther off then I realized and we were headed away from it. Then I heard someone coming up the ladder and instinctively turned with the cutlass and almost lunged at them. It was GM2 Lubbard, Gunners Mate. He had an M16 sling over his back and looked shocked, he also informed me that I looked like hell and had pissed myself. I told him that I just killed three people with hand weapons and I wasn’t even sure that I was still standing let alone still processing what just happened. He told me that I wasn’t standing and he was sent up because they heard me fall down and feared that I was dead. I told him that I’m keeping the sword. He helped me down and into the bridge, I was relieved to find that I wasn’t the only one up there that had urinated themselves. 

Ms.Freemen had to be sent below due to shock, once I was back up to “normal” I was allowed to be lookout again. I wasn’t allowed outside the cabin though and GM2 stayed up there with the M16. After three hours GQ was partially stood down, we could do watch reliefs but no one was allowed outside and all those hatches were to remain locked. Me and GM2 went out after relief to throw the bodies overboard, and loot. When we went out, it’s like ten feet from either bridge door to the ladder for the flybridge, there was only four bodies. THAT caused a minor panic in us but we found number five near the 25mm ready access storage lockers. She had a broken arm, was holding her side and gave us a look that would make the devil give pause, and she was in no shape to fight back. GM2 had his M16 pointed at her and I tried to get her to come with us peacefully so we could try and tend to her wounds.Keep in mind that no one can understand each other AT ALL and I’m the reason she’s’n the pain she’s’n. We got nowhere and she passed out a little while later. So I went and got Brown to help throw the bodies overboard while GM2 kept watch on lil’miss still alive. It was then up to us, Brown and I, to transport her via stretcher down to Doc’s office. Captain was surprisingly ok with keeping her as a prisoner and said we could probably use her to trade information or something. BOY was HE wrong in that regard. So in case y’all haven’t figur’d it out yet that was my sweet, sweet Tabivah, and yes we nearly killed each other when we first met, and for a little while after too.

Anyway, Traveling through the ship with her on the stretcher was significantly easier than Oscar the dummy since she weighed less and I’m not saying that cuz’ she’d hit me otherwise. We drew a lot of ogling and questions from ship mates. Luckily they called ahead and warned Doc that we were coming and so I didn’t get chewed out as hard. Now, me and Doc didn’t really like each other, conflict of personalities and since I was a Nonrate and she was a first class, later chief, I was always in the wrong. Now this one time on a previous patrol I managed to slice my thumb open straight down the middle through the nail about half way down. SHE GAVE ME A BANDAID, I ended up using probably half my superglue over the course of healing to keep it together and water proof for launching and recovering the small boats. The only time we actually agreed on something was when I somehow managed to get blood poisoning and I needed to go to the onbase hospital. Th-those were on patrol and inport by the way. She did hold the boat record for largest halibut at 50 pounds. She was also shorter than me. So she chews me out for causing a broken arm, at least three broken ribs that she could feel, and possibly internal bleeding and a collapsed lung, and that she’d consider it a miracle if she made it through the night. Meaning we had to set up a prisoner watch on top of the normal watch lists. I was told later that they could hear her screaming all the way back at female berthing. Keep in mind that my uniform has dried blood on it and I haven’t had a chance to change my pants yet, so I told her the only thing that came to my mind at that moment “Well. I’ve got two confirmed kills, what’s a third?” That stunned her long enough for me to make a getaway and get down to 42 man to change clothes. That little comment caused a hell’av a lot more questions that I didn’t want to answer at the time and I just wanted a look in the mirror and a shower. I answered as many questions as I could, showed off my new sword, and got woken up at 04AM for prisoner watch. 

Second Part

I was uninformed about my watch status and so I got dressed, grabbed my new cutlass and a cup of noodles, and made my way to medical where our grey elf boarder was strapped to the medical table. I relieved Labs. She looked bored out of her mind in the blue light and commented about the prisoner not having woken up after Doc set her arm and wrapped her ribs. I looked in the office to see if she was still breathing, she had extensive bandages along her chest and was wearing a neon pink sports bra. It was painful to look at due to the semi-black light conditions. Labs said FS3 Fraisier gave it to her since they seemed close to the same size. Her arm looked a bit less professional, two straight pieces of metal wrapped with bandages and gauze for padding. We didn’t have cast material so we had to use what we had available. I think it was this instance that really put into perspective, we're in the middle of nowhere, on a hostile world, possibly the only humans here, and the most technically advanced anything with no way of replicating any of it. So I told Labs night, took the lid off my noodles, and set up in the same spot she was. On the door jam, giving a good view of the hallway leading aft and the med bench. I was about half way through my noodles when she began to wake up. First it was a cringe at the pain, then one at the blue lights, then when she saw that her new top was literally glowing, and then at me. I offered some noodles but she just growled at me and tried to get up, which promptly caused another cringe of pain. She gave a weird look at her improvised cast, then looked at my noodles. I offered her a fork full about the time I heard her stomach growl. The look on her face was a combination of fuck you and is that food. I looked both fore and aft, got up from my spot and offered her the fork. Her arms were still strapped down so she’s glaring at me like I’m teasing her or something. So I did the only thing that I could think of. I did the baby AH thing and moved the fork closer to her face. Her eye brow was twitching, lips trembling, and she slowly opened her mouth and I put the fork of noodles in. She closed her mouth and her eyes lit up for a split second then went back to glaring at me. It could not have been any more awkward. Then she broke eye contact and looked at the door entrance. I thought she might’ve seen or heard someone coming so I went to look. No one was out and I didn’t hear anything so I went back in the office, but there was a slight smell of lavender and cinnamon. I thought it was from Doc’s air freshener or something. The elf refused to look me in the eyes for some reason after I came back, but she did want the rest of my noodles. She even drank the noodle water, I normally dump it out ‘cuz I don’t like it. 

It was about 0630 when Doc came by her office and gave me the most mean look she has ever given me. “What the fuck are you doing here?” “uh, prisoner watch?” “You weren't supposed to be on prisoner watch, on account that YOU were the one who nearly killed her!” I put my hands up holding the empty cup and fork at this point. “Well I was woken up at 4 for prisoner watch and she’s still alive, so, yeah.” At this point she gives me a confused disgusted look and goes into her office and grabs a piece of paper off her desk and reads it aloud, Hagins, Labmire, Dirks. Those were the three who’re supposed to be last night's prisoner watch. I lowered my arms and deadpanned “Dirks? For prisoner watch, at night?” The look of realization slowly crosses her face at this. “Ok , yeah, that would’ve been a bad idea. Go get some food for her.” “Roger Doc”. Dirks was, wasn’t a good person, lazy, shorter than me, almost always complaining, masturbated as loud as possible in his rack. He ended up starting a fight in a bar and got stabbed to death. It was a short funeral. Anyway I got us two plates, spam, scrambled eggs, Texas toast, some jam packets and a honey bear. With plates and silverware in hands I went back to Doc’s office and handed off the elf’s plate. I went to turn around and eat my plate in the mess deck but Doc called me back and asked why her office smelled like cheap noodles and flowery cinnamon. “I ate a cup o’ noodles and I thought that was your air freshener?” She gave me a blank look then. “I don’t have an air freshener, and don’t eat in my office.”

 I was almost done with my plate when she comes into the mess deck and asks me, politely, to come to her office. That gave my shipmates and myself some concern because she’s never polite to me, but I’m not in trouble since she wasn’t screaming at me so it was very confusing. When I was on mess duty,  this is a woman who, during rough seas, sat and watched a glass syrup container slide off the table she was at, smash on the ground spilling syrup and glass, and complained that I wasn’t cleaning it up fast enough. 
Anyway, I shoveled the rest of my food, put up my plate and did what I was asked. She shoves me into her office, closed the door and asked what I did to her when I was on watch. This confused the everloving hell outa me. So I told her that I gave her some of my noodles and that was it. “You gave her noodles?” “yeah” “she let you feed her?” “yeees?” she turned around and handed me the plate, with the food neatly cut up, and told me to feed her because she wouldn’t let her do it. I looked at the elf, who had a look of confusion probably similar to mine, I shrugged and said ok. I started with the spam, and everything went the same as with the noodles. I also got the impression that she was more scared of Doc then me. The cinnamon/ lavender small could be faintly detected and Doc started typing something on her computer, I didn’t know what at the time. Then a knock at the door and Doc opened the door. It was the Captain, first comment, oh what smells nice? Next comment, what are you doing here? I informed him that I was feeding the prisoner. “You tried to kill her, what is he doing here?” he asked Doc. She actually defended me for once and said that she wouldn’t let her feed her, and that there was a watch mix up. When it was revealed that Dirks was supposed to be on watch last night he just said oh. Apparently he was just checking to make sure she was still alive and stable and nothing wasn’t something something. I wasn’t paying attention. I do remember the elf giving me a look of knowing and then indicating she wanted more food. I opened up the jam packets and poured a little honey on the plate for the Texas toast and started an experiment to see which she preferred. It was the honey. It was during this that I got a good look at her face and eyes now that the blue lights were off. She had a heart shaped face with oddly, slightly hypnotic, red-purple eyes. Her hair was messy and unkempt and smelled of stale ocean. After her plate was clean I went and grabbed her a glass of water. The Captain had already left and Doc was playing solitaire on her computer. We don’t have straws onboard but we did have those coffee stirrers that are like shitty straws. I grabbed five of them for her to be able to drink without spilling everywhere. I passed it off to Doc and the look the elf gave me could be described as pleading. I didn’t know why, it wasn’t until later that we found out that Doc was acting like a weirdo to her. Nothing bad, inappropriate measurements, physical examinations, unnecessary tests. She got kicked out for this.

The Captain held quarters on the mess deck before lunch to discuss the current shape and way of the ship and that we needed to stay inside as much as possible. Apparently GM2 Lubbard was nearly taken by what appeared to be a male bird person and that GM2 shot him. He then declared that no one was allowed above deck unless on watch and that the smoking lamp was now out. This caused a lot of grumbling from the smokers of the crew. He did clarify that we could be on the fantail below the flight deck and we could smoke there. He then moved on to the prisoner situation and said that we can’t keep her in Docs office and that we should try and return her to the pirates as a peace offering and to show we aren’t their enemies. This one got more confused grumbling and questions on where she was going to stay until then and how to communicate since no one speaks the local languages. Quarters concluded with the announcement of lunch and everyone cleared out to get a good spot in line. Doc got two plates and asked Hagins to come  by and keep watch if something goes awry. Which it did, Doc had loosened the straps on the elf's good arm so she could feed herself and she immediately pushed Doc away and tried to undo her other straps. Now Hagins was fit, always working out and doing pushups on watch and shit. He said it took him all his strength to hold her down for Doc to redo the straps. When he was telling us this someone prompted who was going to teach her how to use the toilets. This made our half of the mess deck to go quiet and Labs to call not it. Miss. Newler and Sn Nair volunteered to do this. They were the only females who were boarding qualified and they felt they were up to the task. Miss. Newler was the DCO and Nair was the bull dike of deck force. Before they even got close to her Nair pointed at her sig and made loud bang bang noises and the elf did not struggle or act up one bit during the whole exercise. They used Miss.Newlers and Freemens berthing since it’s nicer, better lit, and cleaner unlike female berthings. Now outside of officer berthing on the O deck and chiefs berthing, 42 man was the cleanest berthing on the enlisted side, port 12 man was the worst, filthy petty officers. Anyway, apparently it started off as really awkward trying to show her how to use it and what shit paper was for. They also said she was appalled at them throwing away the TP, then amazed at the fact we have running water. Nair said it was damn near impossible to not laugh at the elfs expense because she started playing in the sink. They also managed to teach her the words toilet, water, and earring. Apparently she noticed Newlers and was pointing and acting weird. When they were doing that Chief Buckanan had those of us with “free time” move the sewage rack mattress and the cloth paint tarps to the fantail and set up an area where we can keep her chained up but also let her move around some. The plan was to handcuff her to a chain and wrap the chain around one of the support beams for the flight deck and have the DCs weld it in place. The tarps were to give her something to walk on that wasn’t non-skid. Now the sewage rack was named so because it was the top rack with the least head clearance, on account that the valve to redirect the poop flow from underneath the boat to over the side was located there. NO one slept there because of this, but we still needed to keep it made for inspections and stuff. We just grabbed the mattress, blanket, coverings, and pillow all, man-handled it up the ladder, and hauled it to the fantail. Spread out the tarps laid the mattress down near the starboard support beam just as Miss.Newler and Nair brought the elf out. She actually looked surprised at the makeshift bedding we made for her. We thought it looked like shit but it might’ve been more than she was expecting as a prisoner. We sent Sn Grigs to get the DCs since they had the chain and welding stuff. Too be fair: we did feel bad for her being out in the elements and stuff, but it’s not like they were going to let her stay in female berthing, nor were we going to just chain her to the deck with her injuries. The problem with this setup was now we needed an actual prisoner watch 24/7. 

Since we had to pick a direction away from the ark, we were kinda lost at the moment. Now we didn’t know it was called that at the time, we just called it the island. Grigs had first watch for our prisoner after she was chained up. God rest his soul, he was a good guy, funny, kind, he died quick, so that was a blessing. He had first prisoner watch and his was his last. The lookout, Dirks, failed to see the pirates scout that intercepted us and got on board. The reason I know this is because I was the one who was supposed to relieve him. Grigs, not Dirks. So I gone out the hatch near female berthing on the starboard side and I heard strange sounds that could be a conversation. As I rounded the corner I saw Grigs face down on the tarp soaking it with blood and a grey skinned elf with his cutlass pointed at the neck of our prisoner. I drew mine and charged him, not for her protection but to avenge Grigs. The elf looked way too late as I slid the tip through his right side and out his neck. Then the burning started. I swear to GOD that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, worse than getting teeth pulled, worse than getting kicked in the balls. It was an intense pain on my left hand and I nearly doubled over from it, and it didn’t go away as fast as it started, it lingered for hours afterwards. I couldn’t be put out by pain now, we had boarders so I pushed through and I heard a very beautiful and feminine voice. “I’m impressed, when he took the ring he doubled over screaming for over an hour” Gritting my teeth I looked over to our prisoner and asked her if she just spoke english. I was in a lot of pain and did not have time for bullshit. She gave me a confused look and asked what was english. That’s when I heard the port ladder to the top deck being used and when I looked it was another elf, wide eyed and moving his head from his dead comrade and myself. I unstuck my cutlass, screamed bloody murder and charged the fucker up the ladder. He was about where the aft of the small boat was before jumping overboard. I screamed at him as he rode off on a giant eel fish thing. Then I heard the telltale sound of a pissed off officer. Mr.Jager was OOD at the time and heard me yelling, he also saw the elf jump overboard. I just spread my arms out and gave him the “what the fuck?” look. 

Part the Third

Now Mr.Jager was cool, he was the officer for the deck department and had been on the Eidolon three months before I arrived. Him, Ms.Freeman, and Miss.Newler were all part of the same officer class and were butterbars. Apparently they did not really know each other when they were there so it was a pleasant surprise to find fellow classmates on the boat. Now BM3 Beruther was also part of their class but flunked out so the Coast Guard sent him to Boatswain Mate A school before sending him to us. That man would fuck anything if it had a hole I tell you, He was especially fond of the older women. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. Anyway. Mr.Jager was pissed, not so much at me but the fact we had been boarded and no one knew about it. He went back into the bridge and I started to head down to talk to the now vocal prisoner. I got to the ladderwell when the GE bell was sounded and Jager announced to search and repel boarders. Shortly afterwards Grigs’s radio chattered asking if he was alright, SK2 Fasset, Store Keeper, was on the other end. She was the Qmo at the time. I went up, fished the radio out of his pants pocket and told her he was dead. There was too long of a wait before Jager responded and told me to stay there and keep watch for anything. SK2 didn’t handle getting told someone died very well and broke down crying for a bit. She still did her job, she just couldn’t really communicate is all. After an hour long search and every boarding team member getting kitted out and running all over the place, they announce the all clear. Doc is finally allowed out and is followed by the Captain and XO. I’m pissed off, I look pissed off, my hand hurts like hell, Grigs is dead in front of me next to the dead boarder, our prisoner is curled up in a ball on her mattress next to the support beam and hasn’t said a word since I came back. I looked at Doc and nearly said something rude but I caught myself when I saw Captain behind her, so I just gave a pissed off salute and held my tongue. It was a sobering moment, none of us really said anything. Then Doc left to get a body bag and that’s when Captain spoke up and asked what happened. I told him everything that I saw and did, even the part about the prisoner talking. Captain turned to her and asked if she could understand us, she replied that she didn’t have anything to do with our crewmens death. At least that’s what I heard, because Captain demanded she speak english. This was the first, and only, time I’ve ever seen him break his cool demeanor. Her reply was that she didn’t know what English is. When the Captain asked her to answer him I spoke up and said she did. That made both him and XO give me a funny look and XO asked if I understood what she said. I replied that I did and asked why. XO opened his mouth to speak but Captain beat him to it and said she’s been talking in her elf language. I turned to her and asked if she understood me and she said yes, the Captain said that I just spoke elf. I turned to her and asked why am I speaking her language and she explained that the ring was cursed and it gave the wearer the ability to speak and understand the languages of the previous wearer. I asked how it was cursed and she laughed and said I can never remove it, ever. Cut off the finger? It’ll pick a new one, cut off all fingers? It’ll go for your dick. After she was done I repeated everything to the Captain and XO. Captain then appointed me as official translator and told me to get radio qual’d. 

Now this ring here, solid black like obsidian, smooth yet warm to the touch, and the best part? Impossible to get de-gloved with! I know I’ve tried. So Doc came back with the body bag along with BM2 Dias. We put Grigs in the bag and when we went to move the dead boarder we heard a jingling. Apparently he brought his money pouch with him, we cut it loose and then threw him overboard. Captain took the money bag and put it in his pocket and told Dias to get the tarps washed and some new ones out here. When we asked about Grigs he said that he and XO would be moving him. We held a funeral that evening for him on the flight deck, with GM1 and GM2 providing air cover and the 21 gun salute. One of the MKs gave our prisoner a pair of earmuffs before it started. We weren't really angry with her about Grigs death, that was directed at Dirks, but she still got some ire from it. 

Early the next day we spotted the ark again, but this time we were going to teach it not to fuck with us and get some revenge for Grigs. We set GE, I moved up to my spot as lookout, we moved our prisoner inside and secured her in the officer’s mess, to give her a “good view” since it had portholes. We also let her keep the earmuffs and they had me tell her that she needs to keep them on during the exercise. The gun crews were called into position and we set a nice course that had a broadside view of the approaching island. When the eel riders were about 500 yards out Captain gave the order to open fire. The .50’s were to go after the eels and anyone else trying to get close, the M242 Bushmaster, a 25mm autocannon. It’s job was to try and hit the ark as many times as possible before having to reload. The ark being about two miles out, was well within range. The sound waves from it knocked harpies out of the sky, one crashed on deck near the M242 crew. She was completely incopasitated, foaming at the mouth, eyes rolled back, limp body. I dragged her over to the bridge wing and handed her off. The .50 crews had the time of their lives trying to hit the retreating eels and after they lost sight of them they started arking it towards the ark. I could SEE the tiny explosions with my ‘binos from the 25mm and by the time they ran out of ammo the ark was headed away from us. The bridge had handcuffed the harpies feathery arms behind her back and her ankles together. Now harpies as y’all know have some wicked talons on their feet and can claw the shit outa you given the chance. They moved the harpy to Doc’s office to treat her for anything she might have broke on her fall. She did have a nasty case of road rash on her chest and face where she ate non-skid and she would need a new shirt and bandages. We ended up cutting up one of our unit shirts from storage and giving it to her. She liked the blue color, but she was very nonchalant about being topless for some reason. Not like she had anything to be proud of, a third of the male crew had moobs bigger than hers. Her name was Aello. 

After we lost sight of the ark we did a search of the ship to see if anyone else was on board. There wasn’t any and we didn’t see anyone in the water either. We secured from GE and I went back down to help with handling the elf. The Captain wanted to ask her some questions and I was needed to translate. When we went to retrieve her from the officer's mess. There was a very strong odor of lavender and cinnamon emanating from it. We found her sitting in one of the chairs with a blank expression holding her earmuffs to her ears looking out a porthole. With her arm still busted she had to use her upper arm for her right ear. She reeked of the smell. The main reason we put her here instead of anywhere else was because it was directly underneath the autocannons and it would be loud and shaking like crazy. We wanted to scare her and show off the power of our guns, and hopefully use that as a way to broker a peace deal. We feared we may have given her hearing or brain damage though, because she didn’t answer when called and only left her stupor after tapping her shoulder. She lowered her arm and hand from her head, looked me dead in the eyes and asked to join the crew. I turned to LaPorté who was there to help me and told him that we may have broken her and to get the Captain. LaPorté asked what she said and why she smelled that way. So I asked her and her face goes from blue grey to an almost black from blushing. It took a little guesswork but it turns ou- “Gets hit in the head by a plate” “DAMNIT WOMAN! Imma trying to tell them a story here and it’s not like they don’t know about you elves and yer ways!” So yeah, it was coming from there. The show of force had had an “unintended” reaction. We suggested to the Captain that she be allowed to shower before engaging with her. So Miss.Newler was called up and the situation was explained to her. It was an awkward situation all around. Showing the elf how the shower works was easier then the toilet now that we were able to actually communicate. 

So Dias comes up to get me to try and communicate with the harpy because she’s about to break something if she keeps flailing around. I’m waiting outside Miss.Newlers room, she’s inside, and the elf is taking a shower. Dias was expecting us in the officer’s mess or Captains quarters so I had to partially explain the situation. I pass it along to Miss.Newler that they need me in medical and ask if she’s ok with Dias as backup. After her confirmation I head down to medical. They had managed to gag the bird but she was still struggling against the restraints. Doc was trying to clean and apply disinfectant to her bare chest when I got there. She was scrapped to hell and back and there was blood all over her. Doc briefly looked up and told me to tell her to stop struggling. I did and all I got was the stink eye, so I told her that she wont get any food if she continued to be resistant. She immediately stopped and Doc asked me what I said. I told her and asked how bad a shape she was in, all she had was the scrapes and bruising. I headed back up to Miss.Newler’s room and switched places with Dias. The elf was still in the shower and Miss. Newler was getting annoyed, she asked me to tell her to hurry up. I told her that water wasn’t cheap and to stop wasting it, shower noises stop. A few minutes later the elf walks out, dressed and looking very relieved. She then committed that she didn’t remember the last time she had had a decent bath. We then escorted her to the Captains quarters and the discussion about her future aboard the ship was had. She introduced herself as Tabivah, she was a dark elf. We asked, well, Captain asked, I translated, how her stay was and if there was anything she was missing in accommodations. Tabivah said that this was the nicest ship she’d ever been on and that she wanted to stay. When asked why she said we were nicer than her previous crew, the ship doesn’t smell, no one’s tried to rape her and all we did was stare, and the food was the best she’s ever had, hot and cold water. I had to process what I heard before translating it to Captain, who also had to do that. I ain’t getting into that discussion but suffice to say, she thought she was going to be “used”. That turned into the discussion on the fact that we tried to kill each other. “I’m alive, you’re alive, we’re even.” “so you’re NOT going to try and kill me” “no, but I am going to get revenge”. At this point Captain asked what we were discussing and if he could be privy to it, mainly because she was giving me a suggestive look. So long story short, we earned her respect by not being douche nozzles, she wants to join us, and Captain might actually allow it since we can’t get back home right now. We also learned that the island that was chasing us was called The Ark of the Revenge of Quintare, which is a fucking mouthful in both languages. Quintare was a god or somesuch and he caused a volcano to explode and killed a bunch of people. The floating island was actually what remained after the eruption and they had to go back to its original spot to “recharge” the magic keeping it afloat every so often. It was led by a council but when they want to seize or destroy something they appoint an admiral to lead their forces. The current admiral was Okna Gheenvrezitn he had a reputation of being a very merciful to those he capture. Captain asked if there was any way for us to enter a peace accord or at least a non-aggression pact, Tabivah said it might be possible. 

The meeting was concluded when lunch was announced and Captain dismissed us. It was dino meat day. He also asked me to be her chaperone for the time being. Tabivah was granted limited access to the ship as a sign of good faith and she was to learn english as soon as possible. I, who did not have handcuff keys, had to get GM1 to unlock her. GM1, who is significantly more paranoid than myself, goes to the nearest ship’s phone, calls officer mess, ask’s LT Christenson about what the captain said, then the captain is on the line and GM1 then unlocks her cuffs. With her new found freedom was bound at the hip with me doing the rounds and introductions. I did this mainly to let the chow line die down some before getting food. Keep in mind she’s still in her cast, rib bandages, FS3 Fraisier’s pink top, and her original baggy short pants. As soon as I get in line Doc comes around the corner and drags me to her office to talk with the bird. She is staring at an apple. Like, completely mesmerized by it, I was surprised we still had any. I asked her if she was going to eat it and she yelled mine at me. Honestly dealing with harpies is like dealing with spoiled children. When I reminded her she still had a plate of food she came out of what ever the fuck she was in, scarfed it down and asked for more. Doc dismissed me after that and I got back in line, Tabivah was still at the back waiting. She asked me where I went and when I told her about the harpy she went into a cursing fit about the whole species. She was still cursing when it was our time to get food. When FS3 Fraisier commented on her top looking good on her, Tabs stopped and asked me what she said, when I told her it was a complement, she straight up told me to tell the bush chewer to go fuck herself. When I told her it was originally Fraisier’s top she said she could fight her for it back. It turned out she was a raging anti-lesbian and thought Fraisier was hitting on her. This is when I learned that cultural differences were still a thing and would need some explaining. That, and getting her to not steal the honey bears. I explained that everyone ate the same food but the chiefs and officers had their own mess, and that they didn’t have to eat there if they didn’t want to and pointed out Mr.Jager on one of the other tables. That everyone had to wear the same uniforms and we told rank by the collar devices. After eating and showing her where the dirty dishes go Doc grabs me again and asks me to translate for the Captain. As he was explaining what he wanted me to do Tabs gave Doc the stink eye and went in, as soon as she saw the harpy in the bed the both started yelling and throwing racial slurs at each other. Apparently Tabs thought Doc was going to check on her and didn’t know we had the harpy on board. I had to hold Tabs back as the bird strained at her bindings. I did manage to get them to shut up, before the squawking and yelling got too loud. Also, no they didn’t know each other. So Tabs was upset that the harpy got a unit shirt and the harpy was angry that the elf wasn’t tied down like she was. On the talks I ended up having to threaten taking away the apple in order to get Aello to pay attention. Also neither of them could read or write, with Tabs saying she never cared and Aello saying it was dicks. So it turned out Aello was into both and that caused another cursing match. Crevice creeper, snake eater, slit slicker, pump pilot, rag sucker, eel farmer, gruel fool, etc. Once I got them both to calm down again we got Aello to agree to deliver the message that we wanted to talk and that we’d give her another apple if everything went well. We escorted her to the flight deck, uncuffed her and let her loose. She flew up, circled three times, landed and said she didn’t know where the ark was.

Fourth Part

For four days we had to deal with this lazy piece of shit harpy. Trying to eat all the food, using up all the clean water, trying to force people to wash her, trying to get people to fuck her, trying to get me to hit on people for her, stripping. Terrible people. We also got Tabivah a unit shirt. Remember when I said she and Fraisier were close to the same size? Yeah, Tabs was about a size and a half bigger than Fraisier was, and she originally wanted to just go without the sports bra since it was too small, that was a no go. The females ended up making one for her and somehow got BMC Buckanan to sew it together. We also grabbed one of the extra pairs of uniform pants for her to wear, unfortunately we didn’t have any extra boots in her shoe size so she had to stay barefoot. It was a shit week and on the fifth day around dinner we finally spotted the ark again. So we set GE and grabbed Aello, forced her to the flight deck and told her to get off our fucking boat. She had the audacity to complain about not getting thirds. THIRDS! Most of us don’t get seconds, the gluttonous whore. Shortly after she took off the Captain ordered us to secure from GE and go into special sea detail. I was still making my way to the bridge and the ship was rocking before I got there. Now for special sea detail we don’t really do anything special, it’s just announced so everyone knows that the water might get rough or we’re going through a strait or whirlpool. We don’t have any special stations for it other than break-ins getting watched more thoroughly if they're on watch. This is when Tabivah started to freak out and she told me that they were going to sink us or force us to surrender. We hit about 15 degrees port and she was clinging to the O-deck ladderwell railings, I couldn’t help but laugh at her. I ended up explaining that this was nothing, it was worse on the bridge and the rest of the crew were probably enjoying it. I then had to physically drag her up top and show her everything was fine. When we got up there, I was shocked to find the seas were underwhelmingly calm for what we were used to. Y’all’ve seen deadliest catch? Old show about crab fishermen in the Gulf of Alaska and the Bering sea, these waves were half those ones in size. And Tabs was freaking out! The bridge crew were actually enjoying it, they didn’t even pull the lookout down from the flybridge. I had to show her the clinometer again and that we were going to be fine, our death roll is at 40 degrees and I’ve seen it go as far as 36 while on helm. We were barely pushing 25. I don’t remember how long we were rocking but it didn't last that long. Anyway, Tabs and I were on the mess deck doing her english lesson with help from some of deck force when the 1MC calls us to launch the starboard small boat and for me and Tabs to meet up with the boarding team. It appears that the harpy actually delivered our message and the ark had sent a small sailboat to meet us, Captain called it a “cartel” and explained that it was a type of truce ship. Captain is in his trops and has a ceremonial sword strapped to his hip, the boarding team is dressed as normal and Tabs and I are given mustangs, think life vest that’s water activated and has other survival stuff tucked in it. I was still carrying around my cutlass like an autist and had made a duct tape scabbard for it and painted that black. Tabs ended up asking why she was being taken along and I had to translate that she was to show that she was fine and that we didn’t trust the harpy. Which reminded us that we needed to get her her apple. This was Tabs first small boat evolution so she wasn’t allowed to help so I had to point out everything, then came the boarding ladder. Captain went down first, then me, and then Tabs, the boat crew was BM2 Dias, MK2 Richards, and ET2 Zorgia. Now MK2 Richards was a nice guy, black, didn’t talk much. Zorgia? Guy was a freak, lived in an abandoned bus in the on base lemon lot, subsisted on bread, cheese, tomato soup, and mountain dew, none of us have ever seen him eat anything else, even fairies are scared of him. He always talked about alternate dimensions, aliens, and who might control the shadow government. He was also the public affairs for this mission and was tasked with recording everything on camera. When I was helping Tabs get seated I noticed that Captain had a navy revolver with a conversion cylinder holstered on his right side. The look on Tabsies face when we took off, it was like a kid in a candy store for the first time, it was adorable. 

As we got close to the cartel they pointed to their port and raised some lines, apparently they wanted to lash the boats together for more stability. When we got there, Aello was  gagged and tied up sitting on the deck, they explained that she was annoying as all fuck and wouldn’t shut up about getting another apple. This was after introductions and shit, but I asked if we could give her the apple and let her fly back. Even gagged she was a pain in the ass, I gave her the fucking apple and they literally threw her off the boat. Now I ain’t going over the whole negotiation, mainly because I don’t remember, and because it lasted for over five hours. Now part of that is my fault as translator and having to repeat EVERYTHING. The highlights were: One, stop trying to kill us. It turned out that the ark’s council thought we were some new super weapon one of the local nations had made since our Ensign, the Coast Guard flag with the vertical stripes, was very similar to their flag and they were kinda at war. The ark’s flag was a field of red with the ark silhouetted upon it in black, even with the bottom. We did apologize for killing their boarders but Admiral Gheenvrezitn waved it off with something about them knowing the risks. Two, we want to go home. Tabs had to help with explaining our situation to them. Gheenvrezitn said that he hasn’t heard of this before, but he suggested that if we get to port Quintare’s Promise someone might have seen or heard of one. Three, with the basics out of the way they started on the non-aggression talks. This one took the longest amount of time and although it didn’t get heated per se they both had to give concessions and promises. It turned out that the damage we did with the 25mm was a lot more than we realized and killed one of their council members and 22 other people due to hitting two of the redoubts. The gun crew were ecstatic at this news. One of the concessions was a thorough tour of the Eidolon, there was also something about their scrying not working inside the ship. We chalked it up to the lead paint that the Coast Guard was too poor to get rid of. They were also skeptical about our claims of not using magic or enchantments. Luckily they didn’t want concessions for their dead. Now y’all may be wondering why we weren’t freaking out about magic and whatnot, well that’s pretty simple. We had a LITERAL elf onboard, I had a cursed ring that the DC’s failed to remove with everything short of the PECU, portable exothermic cutting unit, and a floating island was chasing us. All in all, I think we handled it pretty well. Except Fireman Potvin, who being a devout Catholic, had a crisis of faith, Sn Rivera on the other hand being a Wiccan before the merge was having a blast and tried comforting him. By the end of the talks I was getting hoarse, the sun had already set, we were using flashlights and lamps for lighting and no one remembered to bring food. Captain offered to tow their boat to our ship for food and a continuation of talks, BM2 radioed the bridge and asked if they could get FS2 to make a lot more midrats than necessary, midnight rations. Getting them set up to tow was easy, but they were very skeptical about our ability to get them to our ship with any speed. They enjoyed the ride. They also enjoyed the midrats, spam and grilled cheese. Tabs had to take go-bags to the boat team since they couldn’t come aboard while they were stuck with the cartel. So, yeah, that’s how the peace between the U.S. Coast Guard and the Pirate Empire of the Reldallahash was formed and signed, which really fucked me up because I kept hearing it as the literal translation as blood flowers and Captain had to write it down on a napkin for me. With that done we got everyone back on our respective boats, courtesy towed them back to the ark since there was no wind. Before they let us head back to our own ship Admiral Gheenvrezitn asked us to wait as he got us a parting gift and a “boon to our new found alliance”. He was gone for about 30 minutes and when he came back he had a medium piece of cloth in his hands. It was a square light grey flag with the ark silhouette on it. When we asked what it means it was called an ally flag, since ours was new and no one knew what we were and who we were with, by flying this under our flag it signals that we were friends and not to be harmed. We thanked the Admiral and bid him fair winds and following seas and went back to our own ship, dressed down, and went to some well earned rest. The poor gun crew had to be up there in full kit the entire time, hahaha. 
So yeah, about Tabivah joining us. Apparently she was close to petty officer third class on the ark and therefore low enough on the totem pole to not be missed as much for not going back. The guy I killed and got the ring from? He was a chief equivalent and would be missed a bit more. They also did not believe a word the harpy said about us other than us wanting to talk. 

It was a bright and early day for me when we started to head for the port, mainly because I had 4 to fucking 8’s and got woken up shortly after getting into my rack. As we got closer to port Quintare’s Promise we started seeing more ships and raised the ally flag. We were still about a day and a half out, and Tabs decided that it was a good time to enact revenge. I was coming up the ladderwell from the bos’n hole and she decided to jump down, screaming, and tried to get me in the chest with her feet. I grabbed both hand rails and braced myself, not only did this attack not work, but she also landed hard on the metal stairs on the ladder. To her credit she didn’t make a sound about the pain she was obviously in. I helped her up and told her to walk it off, and with the biggest shit eating grin I could muster, wished her luck on the next one. Getting drop kicked in the chest hurts, especially a gravity assisted one, but I could not let her know it actually hurt. It did make me think of ways to let her “let of steam” without accidentally killing herself, or me. What I ended up with was wooden broom handles as swords, we had plenty in forward stores and a few won't be missed. She had a sadistic look in her eye when I handed her the stick and explained the reasoning. Also Tabs was getting better with her english, able to understand and say the more common phrases, the two weeks or so of practice up till this point was actually paying off. I also figured out how to select the spoken language for the ring, it took a bit of concentration, but I managed to not understand Tabs when I tested it. No to get an idea of how the island of port Quintare’s Promise looks like, It was shaped two C’s with the open parts facing each other forming two openings, the northern mouth was wider than the southern one and was where the Revenge of Quintare went in and out to recharge. Our approach was from the south, this was pure guesstimation on our part. The Nav department worked their asses off trying to figure out what the squiglies on the lizard’s charts meant and they had a pretty good idea that they got the numbers figured out. We should have enough clearance to not scrape bottom, but where we were to moor up at was a bigger question, we needed about 20ft depth since our draft was 17 and they wanted wiggle room. Now port Quintare’s Promise was about as close to a capital as this area of sea had, the dark elf tribes and nations had been conquered and united by a Genghis Khan like figure and managed to stay united because of common threats. It was a very libertarian “live and let live” type of system, with the different habited islands being their own city states and uniting when faced with an external threat. They had their quadbles and internal bickerings, but political marriages and the like was common enough to keep the various groups friendly. Their main enemies were some high elf nation being dicks, and one or two human/mixed race nations wanting to cut in on their shit. Supposedly there was a larger landmass farther to the north but we never went that far to check on it. Now the legend of the blood flowers was a nasty one, supposedly when the dark elf mother goddess was bedded and on her first night she bled everywhere, this blood turned into the blood flowers. These things are like shrubberies and grow  like weeds, they are on every island, bloom year round, the fruit is a little smaller than the palm of the hand and they use the ripened fruit to produce a rum like liquor. It’s pretty good and makes a good grog.

When we got close enough to start seeing primitive buoys I got put on a small boat with a ream of paper and we went to secure a spot on the pier. I will never not be surprised we didn’t get fired upon motoring up there, a bright orange and black boat that’s loud, carrying four humans wearing vests in the same bright orange and dark blue clothing. Not to mention speaking a language that no one understood at all. It took us about an hour to find the harbormaster to get permission to moor up. The harbormaster turned out to be a centaur named Stan. He was rude, fat, wore really annoyingly colored clothing and had an accent that was thick enough to cut with a knife. Negotiations went pretty well for all things considered. When we told him the size we needed he spit on the dock and told us we were lying, “H’ain’t noh sschip thate saze iny whare in de’z seaz”. I don’t remember everything we said but it ended up with us doing a bet that if it was the size I specified we’d get the space for free. The catch? The only space that had room for us already had a sunken ship there, because it capsized due to being overloaded and no one wanted to risk damaging their hull by using that space. It was named The Centaur’s Chode and originally belonged to Stan. When we inspected the spot, it was right across from a warehouse and the leadline had true depth at 24ft and 10ft at the ship’s railing, which was rotted enough to be pushed in by the 5 pound weight. With that taken care of BM2 fired a pen flare to signal that we found a spot and for them to come in, we were out of hand radio range and had to make due. We then got yelled at about using fire magic in a harbor. Oh how I wanted to be onboard and use the 1MC and yell at the locals, “Beware the great white ship has arrived! Prostrate ye’selves and tremble at our might! Yest ye be found wanting!” Obviously I was not allowed to do this. When the Eidolon came in everything stopped, and I mean everything. This was the largest ship they have ever seen, glaringly white with tasteful rust, loud, with no masts and seemingly self powered. As soon as they got into radio range we informed them about the sunken ship. Now we’re from the Bering Sea, our hull is rated for ice, rotten wood does not scare us and did little to slow us down. I turned to Stan and noticed a fresh pile of manure and reminded him about the free parking. People started to flee the area when the Eidolon came closer to where we were and we took positions for mooring her up. It was a quick, by the books, mooring and after deck force hauled the porta-brow from the fantail to the flight deck and over to the pier they let loose the ship’s whistle and scared everyone a second time. 

Some more on Quintare’s Promise, it is essentially Tortuga but with more prostitutes, churches, and magic, and less infighting, disease, and invasions. No, really, after Captain came ashore and formally introduced himself to the harbormaster the shore team and I had to pull him aside and tell him everything we saw while looking for the fat horse. The place we tied the small boat was in front of a brothel, which was next to a church, next to a whorehouse, next to another church but in a different design, next to a bordello, next to a brewery. No one was allowed off the ship until we secured the small boat and held an emergency quarters.  It also had an extensive cave network, probably half of the residential and farming, and a third of the manufacturing took place in caves. They have these really neat native glowing plants and mushrooms they use for lighting, and they die if removed from the region due to magic withdrawal or something. 

Part Numero Five.

So, yeah, there we were, in fantasy Tortuga, sticking out like sore thumbs in a hand modeling convention. No money, no way to effectively communicate, and the risk of weird magic disease’s and other fantastical crap hovering over the groin of every last one of us who were either single or didn’t care about cheating. The quarters was pretty much shore team telling everyone what we saw and Captain telling everyone not to engage in any of that. The officers ran me ragged the following week, with the exception of Tabivah, who was born here, no one was allowed off the boat in groups smaller than five, and had to include someone weapons qualified, melee weapons did not count nor was there a qualification for such at that time. I had to be in multiple places at once, translating, haggling, negotiating, one time I had to be a hostage negotiator. It wasn’t even our people! These were all rando’s and they made me do the negotiations anyway. Everyone did survive by the way. There was another incident where I ended up saving the guy we were talking to by stopping an assassin, by pushing him out’av the way and getting stabbed instead. The assassin got shot and the guy was so grateful that he paid for magical healing and gave us a better deal for the paper we were trying to sell. Paper was very hard to make en mass and quality paper was harder to come by in an island confederation close to the equator. Now every modern ship has a stock of paper for reports and other bullshit, old sail ships used a literal log and would plane off a piece and use that. But that's not who we were selling to, we were selling to wizards and the like, because quality paper was important for scrolls, spellbooks and the like, also shopkeepers, clergy, hand copiers, and officials. We had two whole boxes of extra printer paper, these were 2ft cubed in size, at fifty four reams each. We got one hundred silver for a ream of paper. For a grand total of ten thousand eight hundred and fifty silver Relda coins. That was a metric craptonne of silver, we did all this trading during my hell week. Normally paper was only about 1 reelm, 1/8th a relda, each, but ours were clean white, cut straight, neatly packaged, and actually smooth, so we charged, and got, better prices. The way the silver to gold ratio worked was 1 reelm was 1/8th a relda, and 2 relda was worth 1 gold karshap, 1 karshap was 1/8th gold pana coin, so 16 silver coins was worth 1 gold coin. Oh we got other payment offers, from using the prostitutes for free, to livestock, to smaller ships, to slaves. I had to insist on the silver though, and when we got gold I had to exchange it for silvers. Because I was the lowest ranked and enlisted among a group of officers, I had to carry the paper and the silver, and guard against pickpockets. Paper is heavy but doesn’t make noise, any amount of coinage makes a jingling noise. In the pirate capital, full of less than savoury fellows, I consider it nothing less than a miracle that I only got stabbed once during that week. Afterwards I had to do a presentation on the way money works and how much crap was. Like how much food was, that you had to negotiate prices with prostitutes, and all goods were subject to haggling, we figured a reelm was about $10 U.S. I also informed them that I would be charging a reelm every time I had to translate. I was also part of the financial arguments before everyone was let off, essentially if everyone was given one silver relda each, every day, we’d run out of money in less than three months. First on the priority list was provisions, food and medicine, next was information that might lead home. Food was almost a nonissue, two relda could feed the whole boat for a single meal, and Doc did not trust the local medicines. There was a concern about scammers so it was decided that anyone who said they had a lead was going to show us exactly where the portal was personally.

 I was paid 14 relda for translating and there was about five thousand on standby for the crew’s pleasure and everyone got two relda for spending money. It was R&R time. Us non-rates got two relda initially for running money and told in no uncertain terms, to not start any fights or engage in A-moral behavior. For the record, a prostitute cost anywhere from 4 reelm to one-and-a-half relda depending on lots of criteria. This was a dark elf city so non-dark elves were more or less “exotic” and charged accordingly. I did not use any of those services because one, I did not want a magical STD, and two, everytime I tried, Tabivah challenged me to a fight before I got there. Speaking of Tabs, since she grew up here the crew were bugging the shit out of her for recommendations and stuff. She also had a decent amount of money saved up from her time on the ship. They had, well have, a really good system for tracking and paying wages to tier sailors. Anyway, the food took some getting used to, like a mix of mediteranian and caribbean food, very fish and fruit heavy. Speaking of fish, we nearly lost Hagins to mermaids, he was training for rescue swimmer school and managed to get to the surface before drowning, he ended up washing out though. I spent most of my free time trying the different foods and drink and taking in the scenery. First day off? Tabs challenges me in front of the brow with both broom handles. She had used some of her savings to get healed up and was healthy again. I ended up stabbing her in the boob and winning. Most of us non-rates ran out of funds in the first three days, I ended up making 13 reelm. Watch rotation was one in three for the first nine days and then we settled into normal in-port routine, which was one in five. Also, a decent room was about two relda a week, which really pissed off a lot of the crew because they didn’t want to keep sleeping on the ship. The officers and chiefs copied the pay system of the other ships and us non-rates got five relda a month. The reason was explained to us multiple times but we weren't exactly happy with it. The reason was that the average pay in-port for able bodied crew was four-and-a-half relda to five relda a month, and us non-rates barely qualified as able bodied. I also found it funny that all of our officers, with the exception of the Captain and XO, had to buy officer swords, because “an officer without their sword is improperly dressed” or something. Mostly because all the locals were armed to some degree and we didn’t have enough qualified people to use our small arms. We did find ways to make side money off the ship. FS3 Fraisier became a “dancer”, our five Puerto Ricans got side jobs as cooks and made a killing, translator for me, most just took up the odd job. I had my cutlass looked at and it turned out it had a sharpening and poison enchantments on it, the lady offered to buy it for five relda right there. There was also the slavery and prostitution things. Most of our black shipmates didn’t agree with it but kept their mouths shut, DC1 Brown, not to be confused with Sn Brown, who’s 6ft, blonde hair, blue eyes, and wouldn’t look out of place in an SS uniform, whereas DC1 Brown was 5’6” super racist and constantly worked out, both were great guys and fun to be around. DC1 kept having to point out that the local slaves were being treated a lot better than their own ancestors and they had no room to complain. Some things I remember was that slavery wasn’t permanent, they could own property, and the owner was legally responsible for their well being, most were debtors or criminals serving their sentence. This is actually how Dirks died, he tried to incite a slave revolt in the tavern some of us were eating in and got into a fight with one of them calling him an idiot, gets stabbed, which almost started a tavern brawl when everyone looked at us expecting us to retaliate or something while he was bleeding out. Hagins got up, checked Dirks’s pulse and pronounced him dead. I gave a relda to the barkeep and we carried the body out of the building. Like I said, it was a short funeral. The funeral was held the next day and after making sure his body wasn’t going to be necromanced he was buried in one of the blood flower fields. 

Now the prostitution thing was that dark elves were very promiscuous, and this being essentially the old way of things, the more out of shape you were the more attractive you were, some of the crew were hit on by actual shop workers, especially the Captain and XO. There were also a host of options, from the dark elves to harpies, centaurs, a few other humans, some other elf variants, drow, even a drider and a few lamias. I only tried talking to them a few times but each time I did Tabs would show up like a stalker and challenge me to a fight. I wasn’t even trying to get laid, I just wanted to talk and ask questions. How often do you get the opportunity to interview a drider? Now she has never told me if she was throwing the fights or I’m just that good but I won each of’em. As the months went on and we grew used to being here, things did get easier, Tabs held speech lessons on the mess deck, for a fee, we started to earn the trust of the locals, some started dating, and no one had heard of any type of portal or anything. I think it was a few days before the ark showed up but Tabs challenged me again, this time on the flight deck, I tripped her by swiping her legs and pinning her to the deck, now ports smell, are loud, and busy so I never noticed it before but there was a distinct lavender cinnamony smell, I sniffed, locked eyes with her as realization crept over our faces, she started blushing as I felt the blood rushing to my face. I got off her, apologized, and left as fast as I was able to. The next day the port was abuzz more so than usual, it turned out that the ark was scheduled to arrive soon and everyone was getting stuff in position and moving crap. Now they only did this once when we were there but getting the ark in port Quintare’s Promise is an all day evolution, luckily we didn’t have to unmoor but plenty of other ships did, and some of the docking had to be rearranged, they did this with magic and Zorgia got most of it on camera. I tell you, watching a bunch of wizards make a dock into a golem, walk it to a new spot and turn back into a dock is really something. Now for the ark, there was only one way for it to fit into the harbor and that was the northern mouth. It was such a tight fit that you could jump from ether shore and land on The Revenge of Quintare. How they dealt with the draft and the shallows is beyond me and every time I asked I got the run around or the question ignored. It moved at a whopping ten miles a day, and as soon as it was in position the crater at the summit started glowing red and producing smoke. It was at this point the Quintare’s Promise exploded in a revelry of drinking, fucking, and rowdiness. We lost two crew to it, a fireman from alcohol poisoning and Sn Rivera just disappeared. We were asked, very nicely I might add, to use the ship’s horn every hour on the hour. We agreed and then made a horrifying discovery, y’see no one had told us about fairies, we know they existed but none of us really had any interaction with the little shits. See, every ship has brass on it for obvious reasons. As soon as those little fucks discovered we had a lot of brass onboard they converged on the ship en mass and it was never the same. The bridge was particularly desecrated, we went to wearing gloves to handle the wheel. It was a big brass pizza dish of a thing 3ft in diameter. They tried making it into a monument, at any given time there were six or more fairies trying to “ride” it or do other unspeakable things on it. Very X-rated. Thank fucking GOD they never figured out how to get into the .50cal ammo boxes and cans. Before the ark came back we didn’t have to deal that much with them. So, about the festival. It lasted a week and surprisingly very few people died, counting our own. As soon as Captain realized what was happening he had everyone recalled and we held an emergency quarters. It pretty much boiled down to, don’t die, don’t go to prison, don’t get anything pregnant or they you, don’t let non-crew onboard without permission, and don’t spend all your money. We failed on every point. 
POST THE PICTURE 
People were drunk fucking in the streets, caught Nair with Aello in an alleyway getting dirty, Fraisier didn’t have any clothes on the entire time, Potvin didn’t leave the boat at all, and was the one who discovered the fairies in the bridge, traumatized for life. It was the morning of the second day, I was enjoying breakfast at my favorite tavern, The Ruptured Orifice, by far the worst named building there. The food was delicious. I was enjoying some morning fruits along with some friends and shipmates, then we all start smelling the lavender-cinnamon smell. By this point we all know what it is, but everyone were supposed to be either asleep or too hungover to function. Then the door slams open and in comes Tabivah, wearing an open shirt, flushed in the face, holding a half empty blood flower rum bottle in one hand and holding her pants up with the other. She started to glance around the room but dead locks on our table, everyone else there didn’t seem to mind or care. Then she walks straight to our table, hands me the rum bottle and as soon as I took it she grabs my collar and leads me up the stairs, we didn’t leave until after midnight. I gave the barkeep two relda for what we did to that room.    
Story for another time https://pastebin.com/ZSL8wXQk

That’s a story for another time, but we were officially a couple after that. After the reveries subsided I informed my chief about Tabs and I but he was too hung over, had had enough of this shit, and was dealing with more important matters then to write me up. NO we didn’t fuck on the boat, I had too much respect for my fellow shipmates and didn’t want to clean up afterwards. We held  funerals for both our lost shipmates, apparently the fireman wasted to be cremated so we got that taken care of and his ashes were put in the engine control room for good luck, until we got back and it was returned to his surviving family. Helping clean up and load’n offload crap from the ark was a well paying gig, and a lot of us did it when we weren’t on duty or otherwise preoccupied. The boarding teams using the small boats to help farry and tow stuff back and forth made a killing. Captain even let them keep some of it, on account they were using the ship’s resources instead of their own that is. They were still recharging when a fire broke out in the warehouse across from us. Now we had been doing our in port drills and stuff to keep sharp and flex on the locals, mostly they didn’t care and just watched. So when the fire alarm sounded everyone who was off the boat rushed back. I had duty that day but wasn’t on watch at the time. So when I heard the alarm sounded and the quarterdeck said it was on the pier, I went to the rally point. We grabbed as many of the hoses as we could carry and headed topside to take them over to the firemain outlets. My job was to get my hoses to the pier and connect them to the hoses thrown from the ship. We daisy chained about five hoses together, both fore and aft, as the last of our wayward shipmates were running back half naked. The quarterdeck announced that the firemain was energized at full. Now we never did that, normally it’s only about forty to fifty percent so it doesn’t damage the pipes, but the DC strike team were manning the water cannon mounted on top of the 25mm ammo storage locker. With that and the two smaller hoses, we didn’t have to worry about the pipes exploding. It was a very exhausting fight, the DC’s were handling the roof while us on the ground had the walls and side building to deal with, we didn’t find out until after the fire was out but two water wizards were fighting it from the behind using the splash over and runoff. We fought that fire for over five fucking hours, at first everyone tried to flee and ships were doing emergency unmoorings and there were at least three collisions with ships and one ran aground. When people started to realize that the fire wasn’t spreading and we were actually winning against it they started to cheer and ogle, Tabs had to yell at them to get back because they were getting too close. All’n all, we caused water damage to the warehouse and magic shop on either side, the warehouse that caught fire was a total loss. After we secured the firemain the DC’s donned the firefighting equipment and combed the charred ruins for any hot spots. I had to get on the 1MC and tell everyone that the fire was out and to go home. I then had to accompany the Captain for talks with the warehouse owners and the shop we soaked. The guy who owned the burned warehouse, dark elf, was obviously upset but not at us and thankful that there wasn’t a lynch mob after him since we put out the fire without it spreading. The magic shop owners, a 7ft tall minotaur woman with breasts the size of beach balls married to a dullahan, nice couple, were very thankful we got the fire out before their shop caught fire and exploded. They offered everyone who fought the fire some of the magic items that got water damage at a discount, That’s where I got that small brass box of holding, TEN RELDA! Marked down from twenty five. The owner of the other warehouse was less than happy, also a dark elf. Not only did he accuse us of starting the fire, but also attempted to extort the cost of the damages from us. He was about two hours into his rant when he realized we were surrounded and everyone was giving him some angry looks. It turned out that he was the one who started the fire. Apparently he was talking about getting revenge or something and he got seen setting the fire by one of the warehouse workers. They keelhaul’d him. In any case the entire harbor was grateful that we managed to put out the fire and only one building was destroyed. A LOT of people gave donations, I mean we made enough to float us for another two months just from them giving us money and food. At first we tried to get them to also help the people who’s stuff got burnt up, but we were told they were also being helped so we relented. Really weird for how you’d expect elves to act, but I guess not losing everything when you were destined too does that.

Part Sixerino

Oh yeah, I forgot about the tour. Admiral Gheenvrezitn came by about a week after the ark arrived for the agreed tour of the Eidolon. By now the Captain had a decent grasp of the dark elven language, but I had to go along to help with the harder to describe stuff. It was honestly, a really fun tour. The Captain and Admiral hit it off really well and were swapping stories and bullshitting almost immediately. I have been sworn to secrecy to never tell a soul, living or dead, of what I heard and I never will. The admiral was impressed that something made of so much metal sat so high in the water, curious at how the compartmentalization worked, and ecstatic at the possibilities that some of our tech would bring to any ship. I had to explain electricity and how the lights worked, the fact that all our hardware was power assisted, aft steering.. What compressed air was and how we used it, gas, he was also really surprised at how clean 42 man was, the GLORY of hot chocolate, and how and engines work. He also asked us about helping with certain military matters that the ark would be unable to deal with. I wasn’t allowed to talk about it at the time but since The Revenge of Quintare was recharging it couldn’t be moved. Admiral Gheenvrezitn was concerned about their enemies trying to attack and target their ships. He wanted to know if we’d be willing to help with patrols and engagement if necessary. Captain didn’t hesitate when he said yes. Which brings me to what happened a few weeks after the fire. A badly damaged sloop limped its way into the southern mouth of the harbor, the survivors said they were on a trade run when they were attacked by the Elves. They meant the High Elves, the local Dark Elves didn’t see themselves as remotely the same, oh they agreed they looked the same, ears, longevity, the ability to breed with things. But culture, temperament, world views? Nah. The Elves were the main reason that Reldallahash formed, they called it an empire but it was closer to a confederation. They called it an empire to make the Elves think they were more unified then they really were. The sloop that came to port? They were from an island clan that had a raging hateboner for another island clan. The first boat to head out to help get them ashore was from that rival clan, but it goes down to the weird frenemy thing of “the only person allowed to kill you is me” type of thing. The ark had another few months of charging needed and so, our time to shine was here. As the preparations were being made more reports of the Elves movements, we managed to get a good number of their ships and strategies. They had one big flagship that no one was able to identify, and about twenty smaller, faster ships serving as an escort and sent out as hunting parties. It took almost two weeks for everything to get situated and a local fleet formed, with us as the flagship. Now imagine a medium endurance Coast Guard Cutter, leading a fleet of smaller sail ships, all flying pirate flags. It was glorious. It also never came up until now, but apparently the way they communicate between ships was their own form of moris code using bright, colored mushrooms in an enchanted cavebox with a shutter lens thing. Also the colors didn’t mean shit, some clans preferred using certain ones, but for the most part no one cared. Admiral Gheenvrezitn also accompanied us onboard as an honored guest with his aids to help coordinate the fleet. We clocked at about 15 knots with the various air wizards doing their thing and we were out for three weeks before we caught them. In this time we practiced maneuvers and coordination, taught them the various whistles, and developed some battle plans. The Elves ships were faster, but ours were more maneuverable and we planned to use this to our advantage by keeping at their rear.

 It was actually by accident that we found each other in the first place, we were both rounding an island at the same time as they were coming around the opposite direction. Luckily the Elves had no idea we existed, who we were, or what our capabilities were. So at first they didn’t react since they didn’t see us as their enemy. Our fleet was going into full battle mode and we were moving as fast as efficiently as possible. As the rest of us came around the island the Elves started to get it into gear though. Now we were set up in a way that the Eidolon was in front since we were faster and made of steel, so to hopefully soak up the incoming attacks and not care about damages as much. They were set up in an escort pattern with their flagship in the middle. Their flagship. Holy Shit. Probably 50ft shorter than us, but just as wide. Double decked with mages firing shit from the firing ports, massive, pure white, triangle sails on three masts and the bowsprit, the mast that juts out of the front over the figurehead. The ship looked like it was carved from a dark red wood with gold or a polished yellow wood filigree and accents. The flag was yellow with some funky black crest on it. Captain called it a tremermer, trimer’r? Trimerine? Tri-marie? I can’t remember, it sounded french. It was the most beautiful ship I and probably everyone else who saw it, have ever seen. We blew it the fuck up. Now we didn’t fire the first shot, they did, it was a large fireball from the lead escort and it nailed our bow near the hawsepipe, singed the paint off and bathed the starboard .50 crew in after flame. So other than giving them a fright and ruining our paintjob, it didn’t do anything. Before the .50 crew could recover, fireballs and balistae were already headed t’wards the Elven ship and connected. Now the thing about the old way of wizards and warships was ships were made of wood and wood burns, so the idea was to ward the ships with anti-fire wards and runes, and the way around this was to try and overload the wards and runes or use conventional weaponry. Another thing was changing wind direction, current control, getting sea creatures to do your bidding, shit like that. This is the main reason that boardings are necessary, wards and runes take a lot of punishment to take down so if you're trying to capture, boarding is preferred. This however, was an elimination mission so sinking or running them aground was the goal. So watching three fireballs connect with what’s supposed to be a tinderbox and nothing happening puts a damper on things. Not even the incendiary in armor piercing Incendiary tracer worked, but it did wear the wards down enough for our fleets magics to get through. We did anticipate getting hit with literal fire so the gun crews, both the .50 teams and the 25mm teams were decked out in the fire gear, the poor bastards. Fire fighting gear is heavy, hot, bulky, and uncomfortable to wear in the best conditions, they had to wear it in Caribbean heat and humidity. They didn’t have to wear the SCBA though so that was a plus for them. 

The first elven ship took two more strings of .50 and some salvos of fireballs and bolts before finally catching fire. By now almost all of our fleet had eyes on the half of theirs that was coming around the island. I will never NOT be impressed about those ship mages, being able to sling a fireball hundreds of yards, from a moving ship, to hit another moving ship, accurately, the ballista operators were having a harder time connecting shots having to arc the things. The battle was brilliant, fireballs flying back and forth, our tracers connecting and splintering their hulls, bolts rainbowing overhead, the small of burning paint and plastic of our hull mixed with the smell of gunpowder of our ordnance. They were throwing almost everything they had at us and the starboard .50 crew actually had to retreat to the safe side from the heat, meanwhile the only other ship who was was getting targeted indicated that they were doing fine. The 25mm crew, being behind metal blast shields, lasted the whole battle. But yeah, we were getting pummeled until the third Elven ship was sunk and they changed strategy. By now both of us were in full view of the other and it was all hell. The 25mm wasn’t doing as much as we hoped however, it turns out HEIT does not detonate on wooden hulled ships that well, they needed to hit something a lot harder than the thin wood. The two fleets were now pretty much in formation now and the Admiral was barking orders. The Elves were pointed at us and still trying to shield their flagship as they were shifting fire from us to the rest of our fleet. We were in front acting as a shield and force multiplier and the rest were behind us giving them broadsides. As the Elves started to shift fire from us the 25mm got a lucky hit and blew in two, the fourth ship of the enemy. Without the heat from incoming fire the .50 teams went back to positions and were picking targets. The Warmaiden, one of the ships in our fleet, just behind us was the new target of the Elves, they took two salvos before catching fire. Our DC’s were on it like flies to shit, they started blasting it with our water cannon. It took time but they did get them put out, but the Warmaiden was essentially dead in the water. As the Elves started to unfuck themselves they started turning as one to give us their own broadsides the Admiral signaled to our fleet for phase two. Phase two was for the wizards to make the waters as rough and choppy as possible. As their smaller ships stopped firing the flagship wasn’t as affected and kept at it. We still had the upper hand however, they managed to let loose one salvo before their bow was obliterated. This wasn’t a normal explosion either, it had weird magical blue smoke mixed with the fires and did more damage than it was probably supposed to. Now, without the bowsprit larger ships are more difficult to turn, and they just lost theirs. Unfortunately they didn’t lose faith as we hoped and started fighting harder, but less organized. Two of their ships ended up running into each other due to the waves and panic. Due to how rough the sea had gotten our own fleets wizards were having a harder time hitting the Elven ships and the ballista stopped all together, the Admiral said this was fine as it gave us time to get into positions and shore up defenses. As the rough seas spell lost effect I noticed that their flagship was not only still afloat but looked like it had a forcefield over where we damaged it. Yes I was still on the flybridge, I had on a fire retardant hood, safety googles over my glasses, and a cotton redshirt. The bridge’s windows looking out starboard were almost completely blackened and I was having to relay positions and movement down to them because the bridge wing was too hot. Hehe, in between reports I’d air hump at the Elves to piss them off. Our fleet was still repositioning when the Elves started firing again, but more haphazardly. They did get reorganized and targeted one of ours that was ahead of us and we had to speed up to intercept the incoming fire. We got there in time for their wards to fail and a smaller fire started, but the DC’s got it out before it could do too much damage. They started to reposition to the rear of the formation and the Mermaid’s Pleasure took its place. With six of the Elves ships out of commission and one one-and-a-half of ours out we were going pretty well. Another boon came when their flagship’s main came down on their mizzen and fouled it. The middle mast fell on the aft mast and tangled it up. The 25mm scored another kill when the aft of a ship that was behind the ship they shot initially exploded and started to flounder. It then started to rain, this was around the three hour mark. Admiral Gheenvrezitn came out on the port bridge wing, grabbed the signal box from his aid and signaled to the rest that shit was headed south. Y’see the Elves were summoning a thunderstorm and were going to try and use it as cover to get away or fuck with us. The next thing that happened was we got hit with a lightning bolt on our radar dish. It felt like someone hit me in the head with a bat and the air tasted like pennies. Us humans, other than getting dazed for a few, were fine, the Admiral and his aid were worse off and had to be dragged back inside. The Admiral managed to get the order across however and our fleet was starting to spread out. It was for naught however, the Elven fleet used the storm to retreat and presumably lick their wounds. 

It turned out the reason Admiral Gheenvrezitn and Sibvrai, his aid, got hit harder than us was because the lightning was magical and something or another. We had to tow the Warmaiden because the fire ruined her sails and a good portion of the freeboard. We dropped them off at a nearby port town and continued our hunt. The other ship didn’t have nearly as much damage and was still in the fight. Our damage on the other hand was almost all superficial, the non-skid around the starboard .50 was coming off along the bridge wings. The scorch marks on the glass came off with scrubbing and we’re pretty sure that the lightning bolt fried whatever was left of the radar dish. We couldn’t tell how much damage the paint on the hull took since it was almost all burn marks but us in deckforce were dreading having to scrub and re-paint it. It was about a week before we caught up with them, they were waiting for us around an island and tried to get the drop on us. It didn’t work out that way however, our scryers were looking at them while theirs were looking at us. So as soon as their first ship came out from behind the island we opened up. With the exception of us, both fleets were out of range for normal spells and bolts, this left our gun crews plenty of time to get shots out. Admiral Gheenvrezitn commented that they were missing a ship from the last engagement, it was assumed they either sent them back home to report on us, or it got cannibalized. Their flagship somehow got their main back up but didn’t last. We intended for this to be the final battle and we were going all out. Our guns had a good 30 minutes before the Elves would be in range so Captain had them make more precise shots and not to waste ammo. They must have cast a wind spell or something because we got hit with a blast that nearly knocked me off my feet and we were suddenly in each others range. The distances closed a lot faster than the last engagement and it was a bloodbath. I had to hit the deck on more than one occasion and at one point both 25mm’s were firing at the same time. We lost five ships including the Mermaid’s Pleasure. Their flagship became nothing more then a splintered wreck, we destroyed their aft, all three masts, and a large chunk out of the hull. With the flagship critically wounded and waiting for death something strange happened, a weird beam of blueish light shot up from it into the sky. Nothing happened to us, it was just weird. When the last shot was fired there was a noticeable pause before the cheers started. Then we did the rescues. We launched both small boats to search for anyone of our that may have gone overboard and any Elven survivors that surrendered. We pulled twenty of our people out of the water and three Elves and one dwarf, the rest would rather drown than get saved, the dumbasses. On the dwarf, apparently he was a slave the elves had forced to serve on one of the ships and was the only one that knew how to swim. His name was Urist and before he was enslaved he was an accomplished engineer. Another thing we grabbed was the massive flag off of the Elves flagship, this thing was massive too, easily twenty feet long. We ended up needing to use the small boat davit to hoist it up. 

So with everything taken care of the Admiral signaled for everyone to head back to Quintare’s Promise, we ended up having to tow two of them due to damages. During the travel back we got to know the dwarf better. Apparently he was enslaved after a failed raid on some Elven village or another and him and his mates got shackled with enchanted slave chains. He tried pledging his life to us for rescuing him but we managed to shoot that down. We had to compromise in that he would help the dark elves with defensive and offensive contraptions. There were a few of us on the boat who had schematics and information about guns and stuff  and how to make black powder. Apparently the dwarves knew of black powder but decided to not use it because of the smoke and difficulties of obtaining resources, and magic is cheaper. We managed to convince him that that was dumb and got some blueprints copied for him to tinker with. The Admiral also got the whole fleet to sing a sea shanty. Hearing a bunch of ships sing in unison with the backdrop of sails, surf, and wind is really something. If you ask nicely yer grandmother might sing it for ya. But yeah, we got back to port. Got the towies into slips for repair, moored up in our spot, and unloaded the flag. We took photos, artists did paintings and sketches, some mage did a weird ass thing with a crystal ball and a tapestry. The Captain, Admiral, and the captains of the other vessels folded it up and carried it off somewhere, it was a big parade. Now that we were back in port we got a good look at the damages. “sigh” We, did not have enough white paint to cover the scorches, we scrubbed the black off as best we could, painted kill marks on, and covered as much of the bare metal as was physically possible. The main thing was the freeboard area, the bridge winds ended up being painted in blue and orange stripes, and everything we could get away with was painted black. 

Everyone involved got paid, quite well I will add, the Warmaiden had a portion set aside, and the families or clans of our dead got their share also. The dwarf joined up with one of the smiths and started working on a flintlock prototype, and the three high elves we rescued, two male one female had other fates. First we interrogated them, the males were deckhands and the female was a servant for their admiral on the flagship, they also had the audacity to insult FSC’s cooking and complain about having to sleep outside. Fucking entitled cunts. The dark elves did some magic stuff with their interrogation and it turns out they were actually telling the truth. Now the difference between dark elvish and high elvish is similar to the difference with Mexican Spanish and Spain Spanish. High elvish is more posh and uptite and crap. Since they weren’t a threat at all they were let go. Fraisier and the female elf, her name was Sha, ended up getting together and married shortly before we left for home. Now I know what some of y’all are thinking, and the Coast Guards official policy at the time was essentially “We don’t care”. Other than being forced to wear trops it was a fun wedding, but that was months after the battle. Now, by now everyone knew me and Tabs were a thing and with the money I got for the battle I bought a nice pair of earrings and had had them enchanted, water breathing and fire resistance. The day after, I popped the question at dinner “catches brass box” “HAHA I got you this time! If you want me to show the videos keep at it! I told Hagins and LaPorté about my plan and they filmed the whole thing on their phones.” Anyway. I popped the question at dinner on the ship. SHE FUCKING TACKLES ME and then starts grinding while trying to eat my face. I took that as a yes. Now the marriage customs there are different then back here so we did our best to combine them, the fact that we are still together shows that it worked. A week of preparations later we held the ceremony on the flight deck. The Admiral actually volunteered to be the marriage officiant. LaPorté was my best man, there was a drawing and he got the short straw. Some of Tabivah’s family and former crew filled up her side and everyone on the Eidolon was on mine. Tab’s father did the hand off thing, I don’t know what the girls told her about marriage on our side, and her father did the traditional suckerpunch that is part of their marriage ceremonies. He must’av liked me cuz it wasn’t that hard of a punch. The Admiral wrapped our hands and then we were carried off to the whorehouse across the street, The Blooming Fruit, literally thrown into a room and barred inside. That part is not on video, but the ceremony is. Oh, we also managed to get her to be less massively anti-lesbian and down to normal anti-lesbian. 

Part el Seven-o

Another month or so past and we got a visit from a very angry Mad’am and a homely centaur girl who was either a little on the chunky side, or preggers. She turned out to be a whore and the Mad’am was the boss lady, she wasn’t supposed to get pregnant. Like, at all. Magic bullshit and that crap, but she was too far along to get rid of it now and now she can’t work. The reason I know all this is because the centaur girl had a thick accent and the quarterdeck was having a hard time understanding her. She was the daughter of the harbormaster. So I managed to get the whole story and IT3 Rony “the brony” did a horsey and she’s having a baby. Information systems technician by the way. Captain and XO were pissed to say the least, chewed out Rony, and apologized to the Mad’am. Now this isn’t the first time a sailor knocked up a whore, this is one of the few times that he was still around to see the consequences. We gave him hell for this and enjoyed every bit of his misery, he was kind’a an ass. We never did manage to get the question of if a human centaur hybrid is another centaur or a quarter horse. Well with that tidbit out of the way it was starting to be storm season and the sailors and captains were calling that this year was going to be a calm one. It was, we had only one major storm and a bunch of minor ones. That was a fun storm. Now y’all have to remember we were originally from the waters of Alaska, so the idea of “rough seas” here was our idea of moderate. It took some explaining of our motto “you have to go out, you don’t have to come back” and the reasoning behind it, but I think we got the point across, especially after the rescues. I think it was around the third stormy month that the captains and wives started whispering that a big one was on its way. We were making preparations for it, most of the painting was done, the centaur was more obviously preggers, and Tabs was sneaking into 42 man, not to sleep with me mind you, but to get away from Fraisier and Sha and the rest of the “bee hive”. It wasn’t like we didn’t have empty bunks, but she still wasn’t supposed to be down there. Also Sha got permission to help with the cooking onboard, there was a noticeable, but good difference. Still not better than FS2’s hangover breakfasts, FS2 Kevin was one of our Puerto Rican’s and would routinely get drunk on his nights before he had to do breakfast. So, yeah as the big storm got closer the port was getting more crowded. We left the day before it was supposed to hit looking for anyone still out there. We set sail INTO THE JAWS OF HELL HAHAHA! We set out of the protected harbor to do the job we signed up for. There were rumors of at least two ships still out and we were going to do our best to get them back or rescue the crew if able. Tabs was getting used to the ride also, being taught and living through the worst the ocean can throw at you, then being in the middle of it and completely safe gave her mixed feelings. The storm lasted for five days and we only found one of the ships. A schooner, not handling the waves nearly as well as we were. Its crew were lashed together but they were in a bad shape. We got as close as safely possible and launched one of the small boats. When you make eye contact with someone who's supposed to be 15ft below you because of the waves and then they’re looking down at you, You might have some rough seas. Their job was to rescue anyone who was in the water already or might fall in. We told the ship we were here to help and that we were going to try and lash their ship to ours and get them to safety. They were getting pummeled by the waves and couldn’t really give an answer. We got closer and shot them some lines to lash to their vessel, they tried the same but only one of there’s made it to the deck. Ours was about 10ft higher than theirs was on a good day nor did they have line guns, so we couldn’t really blame them. As our two ships got closer and closer it got hairier and hairier, Until the fateful yell of brace and the two ships, one wood and the other steel, connected. It took nearly all of deck force and the powered capstan to heave them in and secure them to the bitts and cleats. We threw the boarding ladder over to their ship and the worst was over. Twenty six came up the ladder with their skipper coming up last. The two crew who were still in the rigging jumped onto our deck like a bunch of dumb asses and landing on the non-skid did a number on them, not to mention the broken bones. They were sent to Doc who chewed them out before fixing them up. With them onboard it was time to recover the small boat who’ve been circling us and making sure no one was overboard. That was uneventful other than having to keep gawkers from being in the way. During this whole evolution Brown was at the helm, Captain was the OOD, XO was operations. All in all it was a good two weeks that we were out there. The storm cleared up three days later. The crew we rescued were very grateful and didn’t do nearly as much bullshit as we were worried about. When the storm cleared up we made our way back to Quintare’s Promise. Their ship got completely smashed and buckled on the starboard side, where we lashed them to us and we drew a rather large crowd when we brought them to the drydocks. It turned out that the other ship we were looking for pulled in on the second day of the storm and that they had lost two crew. The polarity of our excitement at being back at sea and helping people and everyone else who weren't us and had survived the harrowing storm was quite funny. Imagine a bunch of people scarred and worried about the storm and a bunch of foreigners pulling in after being out in it laughing and joking about how much fun they had.

Everyone thought we were weird at first, then heroes for helping fight off the high elves, now they thought we were crazy. Now y’all know respect is earned and not given and we definitely earned theirs. We ended up doing two more search and rescues over the next month and a half and saved three more ships, earning a nice bit of money from donations and thank you gifts. One of those ships also had one of the elves we rescued from the battle funnily enough. We were settling in pretty nicely for only being there for a little under a year, but what a year it was. It was towards the end of the storm season when Admiral Gheenvrezit came to the ship and pretty much demanded to speak with the Captain and XO. They were in the Captain’s cabin for over four hours. In the meantime everyone else were doing our now normal in port routine, ship watch, upkeep, fairy removal, fairy aftermath cleanup, etc. Tabs and I were eating when, “no not THAT eating, food eating” were eating when the ship whistled its emergency recall. This is one of those things that you immediately stop what you’re doing and haul ass back to the ship. Tabs left money for the plates and I grabbed the food as we ran back to the ship along with everyone else who were out at the time. Once everyone was onboard the Captain, XO, and Admiral Gheenvrezit were waiting. Everyone were talking about what happened now and the one thing that kept coming up was going home. During the emergency quarters Captain announced that one of the merchants spotted a strange disturbance that matched what the portal we saw before getting transported here. The merchant was overheard talking about it and word made it to Admiral Gheenvrezit, who rushed to tell Captain. He gave us a week to get any and all affairs in order then we were heading out to check on the portal’s supposed location. The ship somehow still had three months worth of fund left and we ended up having to spend a month’s worth paying off debts and loans and shit, those shitmates did not get the “surprise going home bunus of one and one-eighth gold pana” that was the last of the ships silver, and we had converted it ALL into gold pana and karshap. Another thing during the quarters was for everyone to get as many samples of everything as possible, FOR SCIENCE! and profit. This was still a huge gamble in that no one knew if the portal actually went to our world or another freakier world or if it would be the same time period. With being frugal as hell I had managed to get eight pana with two relda left over. Tabs was fucking rich and had easily twenty pana saved from over the years. It was a weird week in Quintare’s Promise, everything was somber, apparently we made more of an impression on them then we initially thought and would actually be missed. We gave as much translated information to the dwarf as possible to help in the fight against the high elves, medical knowledge and such to the healers, stocked up on as much pickled and brined food as we could physically put on the boat, and said our goodbyes. All in all we had lost four shipmates, gained one, and had two tagalongs, Sha and one of the MKs was bringing a dark elf he was flirting with, and later married, and got permission to take aboard, her name was Qedvape, or something like that. It was surprisingly easy to get Tabivah to agree to come with us through the portal. The portal was a month and a half travel using sail power, we got there in about five weeks and a farewell fleet was tagging along to see us off, which was very touching. The portal was spotted early morning and we waited till around noon before going through. We manned the rails, gave our salutes, and then manned the same spots we were in when we first went through. Tabivah, Sha, and Qued were positioned in the mess deck, they piped transition in progress, I gripped the compass, and we went through. 

The first thing I noticed was that it was that it was still warm, and then that we had company. There were five grey warships and two white hulls with orange and blue stripes. “Bridge, flybridge, I think we’re back home”. I could hear Ms.Freemen talking on the radio, “This is the United States Coast Guard Cutter Eidolon on channel 16, does anyone hear me? I rep-BOOOOOM!” As I was waving at the ships and looking through the big eyes and waving, all the ships were flying the U.S. flag and one of the Navy ships opened fire on us. I only had enough time to cover my ears before the shell landed not 50 yards off our port. I scurried off to the bridge and everyone down there were freaking out. ET1 Tyler, BM2 Dias and Ms.Freemen were all on different radios trying to communicate with anyone out there and get them to stop trying to shoot us. Brown had signaled GQ and Captain burst through the door shortly after I came down. Then the radio Tyler had cracks to life demanding our surrender, to power down our engines, and to prepare to be boarded. Captain took the radio and demanded to know what was going on and the response was infuriating. Surrender or be destroyed. Captain was visibly pissed and said that we would comply, he then ordered us to tell everyone to get ready and to hide any and all magical items and left the bridge. Me, LaPorté, and Brown then rushed down as the rest of the bridge crew started calling down for everything to shut down. Our goal was to get everyone to hide the shit they had, get the three to prepare for bullshit, and to try and get the fairies to behave. Thirty minutes later two small boats arrived, one from the high endurance cutter and the other from one of the Navy's destroyers. The Coast Guard being how small a branch it is, some people knew each other and for the most part everything was amiable, we did not like the navy thugs. Essentially we were under arrest for, among other things, treason. Which gave us more questions than answers. They did a thorough search of the ship, but didn’t find any magical contraband, the fairies harassed the navy thugs nonstop, and one of them tried putting moves on Tabs and nearly got stabbed, which nearly got me shot, which lead to a mexican standoff and Captain had to step in to get everyone to calm down. Captain ended up having to ask the captain of one of the high endurance cutters to pull rank on the commander of the navy's destroyer for this incident. Zorgia had set up the camera to record everything in the mess deck where we were and had captured the whole incident. They also tried to take my ring and they threatened to cut off the finger to get it. Only after literally demonstrating that it could not be removed did they finally relent. They also tried kidnapping Tabs, Sha, and Qe for “examination and processing”. This incident actually did get me technically shot. The navy thug assaulted Tabs and I got in between him and my wife and then he put his gun to my chest and pulled the trigger. EVERYONE froze at the empty click, then all hell broke loose. Thanks to the fairies all the navy thugs guns were empty, even the side arms, we overpowered them and we beat the crap out of ‘em. The Coast Guard boarders stood back and were tired of them fucking shit up and making things worse. I ended up busting the teeth out of the bastard and we handcuffed them all together, threatened to throw them overboard and made it as clear as possible that if the Navy wanted their people on our ship they were to be unarmed and filmed the entire time, and any of our crew were to have a Coast Guard escort on their boat. To be fair the naval commander was very apologetic about the two incidents and their boarding team got court martialed because of this. But yeah, armed naval personnel were banned from the boat and any naval personnel wishing to be granted access were to be escorted with armed Coast Guardsmen became a standing order. So with their search of our ship done, the six of us, us three humans with our non-human partners, got sent over to one of the high endurance cutters via small boat. We got checked up there and learned some things about what the fuck is happening.

We were not the returning heroes we thought we were, the world had changed for the worse, and shit was fucked. Apparently the portal that sucked us to magical-fucking-fantasy-land was not a one time occurence, but happened all over the world damn near simultaneously. We were in the Gulf of Mexico, major cities got besieged by fantasy creatures and forces, Texas somehow got a nuke dropped on it, Florida had a Chernobyl, dragons were flying over London, yetis in Russia, giant-er spiders in Australia, China was completely dark, and the damned high elves were trying to put pressure on the UN. Also everyone thought the ship was lost with all hands, leaving the Munro to deal with Alaska by herself with only the sparse Canadian navy, and any assets from our own for help. They were rightfully miffed that we had the time of our lives in fantasy Tortuga when everyone else was suffering and shit. We stopped talking about our time over there after we left the cutter. They were sending us to an aircraft carrier for the actual screening because the Eidolon’s flight deck was too small for the jayhawk to land properly and they didn’t have the proper facilities. This prompted MK2 to demand that we hear them tell the Eidolon that we were leaving because he didn’t trust them. So we all cram into their bridge, hear them tell the Eidolon what was up, again, and then they load us into the bird. The helo scared the elves, first it was loud as hell, second they had to deal with rotor wash. We had to drag Tabs and Qu, and we had to carry Sha into the bird, but once in the air they started to loosen up and enjoy the flight. There was a weird mix of blackberries, cinnamon, and lavender in the air before we reached our destination. Then the aircraft carrier came into view and at first they were excited, then worried, then utterly terrified that we had such monstrosity, then even more scared at the fact we have eleven of the things. They understood now our off comments about the Eidolon not being that big despite being the biggest boat in Reldallahash’s waters. Once we landed and got off the jayhawk we were being lead to the hatch when we got surrounded by some marine looking dudes. It was at this moment that I remembered I was still wearing my cutlass. We put our hands up then someone yelled at them to stand down and we got ushered into the hatch. Honestly they looked more scared of us then we were probably scared of them. In case y’all didn’t realize yet, aircraft carriers are fucking huge, after probably five minutes of following the lieutenant we were completely lost. Another fifteen minutes of wandering the corridors and passing obviously scared crew we arrived in the medical area. Then the poking, prodding, blood samples and tests, and more unnecessary crap. Weird questions about what we ate and disease and pathogens on the other side. Sha ended up crying and I actually had to partially draw my sword when they started getting more touchy. That got a response from one of the guards and I told him that I’ve already killed ten people with it and if he wanted to be number eleven, now I hadn't killed ten people with it at that time, but he didn’t know that and it got my point across. We were there for three fucking days. On the second day MK2 and FS3 demanded to speak with our Captain and we refused to cooperate until we did. Manly to make sure they were still alive and to let them know we were also alive but in hell. When it was mine and Tabs’s turn I did the normal report thing and asked if I could speak freely. With that permission I unloaded on how they seemed scared of us, that their food sucked, that they kept asking the same questions over and over again with us giving the same fucking answers again and again, and that I’d rather be drydocked in Adak. All the while their, whom I believed to be one of their operations officers or their XO, glared at me. I later found out that was the captain. Tabs was nicer about her complaints. 

See we had essentially detoxed for a year and been functioning with limited caffeine for nearly as long and aircraft carriers have McDonalds onboard. There was no way we were willingly touching that stuff they called food and we had to keep the elves away from it. We ended up eating the galley food and it was shit, FS3 and Sha started Gordon Ramsay-ing them. MK2 and me were having to watch all four females because almost all the navy and marine crew kept eyeing them, this culminated in me and MK2 having to save Fraisier and Sha after being ambushed by a couple of navy rapists. They went to use the head and Tabs and Qi heard them scream, so we rushed to where they were headed, found the rapists trying to undress them, there was three of them, one was filming. MK2 repeatedly rammed the head of the one on Sha into the bulkhead and I ran through the one on Fraisier and cut off the cell hand of the third. The one I stabbed died, the one MK2 had turned into a vegetable, and the one whose hand I cut off had to get his arm amputated at the shoulder because of the poison enchantment. That, that caused a major incident and a LOT of backlash. So we grabbed the two hurried back to medical, angry as all fuck. MK2 yelled at the docs to get their captain down there now, I was threatening another one and explaining that he had two dead and dying friends in the hallway. When we were waiting, Sha and Fraisier were being taken care of, I bluetoothed the video from the rapists call to MK2’s and mine because their captain was probably going to confiscate it and burie the incident. This is how I learned the guy glaring at me badmouthing the ship was the captain, he came in with a full security detail and demanded to know what happened. We “calmly” explained what happened, showed him the video and made it very clear what we expected to happen next. He tried to have us thrown into the brig and threatened to have us court martialed. Luckily cooler heads prevailed and the medical people said they had all the stuff they needed from us and that we should be sent back to our own ship. Their captain agreed and we were to be sent back in the morning, that turned the nine days of being lab rats into three. During their breakfast MK2 and I managed to get the footage of the attempted rape and subsequent retaliation from our phones onto all the messdecks TVs on repeat. By then a good portion of the crew knew we killed a guy and seriously hurt two others, but we managed to convince their ITs to play the footage of the event. The only reason we weren't beaten up was they were still scared of us. Apparently anyone who managed to survive a year on the other side must be hard as shit and my lie about killing ten people turned into a hundred and being a cannibal. The footage went over like a lead balloon, it was great. Another thing we found out after we left the carrier was that none of those people had been to shore since it all started, they’ve essentially been stranded on the iron tub for over a year and all the news that they were getting was second and third hand accounts of things. Y’know, all elves are archmages, dark elves are supreme sorcerers or necromancers, orcs being orcs, that kind’a shit. Not to mention not knowing what had happened to their families. Same for most of the other larger ships, getting resupplied at sea and only going into port for the most dire of circumstances. Talking to the people on the high endurance cutter after the flight was fun, apparently the carrier people thought MK2 wrestled orcs, Qy and Tabs were sorceresses or necromancers, Sha was OBVIOUSLY an archmage with a beauty spell on, and Fraisier was a succubus. 

With that taken care of and a thorough chewing out by Captain and XO and our chiefs, we were back to being quarantined on the ship for another week. Then we got loaded up with supplies, topped off on fuel and our next destination was to the Panama Canal and to get back over to the Pacific side. The navy were going to escort us there and once through we were to fleet up with the Pacific assets and make our way back to Alaska. Panama got overran by lamias. Colon was in shambles and as we approached and could see smoke from a long way out. The canal facilities worked still and it seemed that the new natives were at the very least on neutral or friendly terms with the Panamanians, we never got an answer on how though, mainly because we didn’t stop to ask. I did also have to keep yelling at them multiple times that we weren’t trying to invade, just passing through, had nothing to trade, nor buying anything. We had five try and come aboard though and all failed, from trying to climb the hull, to jumping from the lock gates. As we got closer to Panama City we started seeing more humans and less snakes, by the way the Gatun lake is beautiful and was full of small fishing boats and lakemaids. Panama City itself was similar to Colon and the whole thing was kinda boring. Once through we met up with the other ships near Tabooga Island. 

Part eightorino

During our trip we, us that went to the carrier, explained what we found out about earth to the rest of the crew. The news made everyone depressed, we were worried about our families, friends, towns, you name it. The Konvergence affected all. The fleet moved along the coast, keeping land within sight. Naval engineers had to come aboard to fix our radar, they needed to replace the whole thing it was so fucked. So, yeah traveling up the coast of South America was depressing. We could always see smoke from the land and if you used the big eyes you could see ruins. There were also a disturbing lack of ships on the waters until we reached Baja. It seemed that at least this area was still doing somewhat fine and there were signs of human life still around. The navy made us do a wide berth around Los Angeles however and even at the distance we were at, the amount of smoke was staggering. We had to be resupplied around this time again, MREs, no one liked it. Fish call was out since we were needed in Alaska pronto. Things were quiet until we reached Seattle, the place seemed to be doing better than the rest but there were open air furries walking around. We didn’t moore there so supplies were airlifted to us. This was the navies last stop too, they were going to do whatever and we were to make our way to Juneau for another resupply and to get updates on the situation up there. As we made our way up the coast of Canada things started getting weird-er. There started to appear strange lights on the inland fields that looked like the aurora and strange flaming streaks in the sky over them. Trying to catch a glimpse with the big eyes was harder than usual and what we could see looked like giant moths. Another thing, as you made your way north it gets colder, our elves, who’er from and used to a mediterranean type climate, had NOTHING in the form of warm clothing. Don’t get me wrong, we had warm clothing, but when you spent your entire life in warm weather, a little cold is terrible. We were about two days from Juneau when we spotted the first boat since Panama. It was a crabber, wrong season for it but this wasn’t the time or place for that. The Cucumber was a normal fishing boat for the region and we’ve boarded them before for inspections, and when we made contact with them they started crying on the radio. They thought we were lost with all hands and with all the other crap that was happening at the time no one was able to do a search and rescue. Now, the history of Alaska and the Coast Guard is very close, and for how annoying we can get they do appreciate us being there. As we got closer to Juneau more and more fishing boats came out and escorted us in. Now navigating into Juneau harbor is a special sea detail the entire way and everyone had to conga line behind each other to safely do it. 

Now, Juneau is not connected to anything and is essentially a series of islands made by glacial erosion. Because of this it was relatively unharmed by the crossover. They were still hit hard since a lot of their stuff needed to be imported but food and water were plentiful and damn near everyone was armed. Plus not many orcs this far north. Now dire wolves did show up on the mainland, along with snow elves, dire geese, dire bears, mammoths, all sorts of things. Like on Kodiak the grizzlies ended up breeding with the new dire bears making dire kodiaks. Back to Juneau, they had their problems but a lot of the townsfolk showed up to great us, including some snow elves. Apparently there was a number of snow elf tribes that got transported over and they ended up integrating themselves with the locals pretty well for the most part. We stayed in Juneau for about a week resupplying and exchanging news and knowledge. It was determined that everyone was to acquire firearms due to the world and local changes, it was encouraged to get them in supplied calibers. The local gun shops didn’t have anything left for the most part and what was left was bubba’d and or trash. But this close to Russia has the advantage of salv-shit weapons and the Mosin Nagant is the Slaviest. I managed to get Tabs one but we had to share the four-forty can with four others. I also had one in the armory on Kodiak but we didn’t know if it was still there. It was, but we didn’t know at the time. So, yeah. After Juneau we headed straight to Kodiak and began the long, LONG, process of reintegrating into this new world.

That, and how we got back to Texas is another story.